revivalproject | ★ 3 ★

WHO: Bucky!Cap (FINALLY!)
WHERE: Medical bay on the Agrii ship (closed to Steve first, then anyone who wants to visit him later); on the network
WHAT: WAKING UP and some apparent brain fog? Hm, what's up with that...
WHEN: Return journey (current)
WARNINGS: N/A, will mark any threads as necessary

In the med bay (action/spam):
[Bucky wakes up slowly. Groggily. Like he's been put under and getting back to wakefulness is a slow, struggling slow through molasses. Everything feels heavy and his head is pounding halfheartedly as his eyes finally, finally struggle open and -

Where the fuck is he?

He jolts in the bed he's in, still feeling like he's been hit in the head with a sledgehammer but also like he's just been hit with a shot of pure adrenaline. Waking up confused, groggy, and with no idea of where he is is never ideal.]

Later, over the network:
[It's a little while after waking up that he actually gets on the network to try to catch up. But boy howdy, when he does…

You know what? He gives up about five minutes in and just clicks the video on.]

Okay. Somebody want to tell me what the ever-loving hell I just missed?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Steve exhales shakily and pushes their foreheads together, eyes shutting. His arms wrap around Bucky's shoulders and hold him close for a moment before he finally gives in and just kisses Bucky properly. He means it to be soft but it has an edge of hunger in it. A touch of desperation that only really comes from the unique experience of losing someone you love so many times that even a reunion is tinged with the fear of it occurring again.

"And you managed to come back," he breathed between their lips as he broke off. "Just... You keep doing that, okay? Neither of us has any say about when we go but...just come back? I'll stay alive but you just come back."

"Like a bad penny," Bucky murmurs, even if it might be a little breathless, after a kiss like that. It's not exactly something he can promise, but he's not about to point that out right now. Reality can just... stay out of the conversation for the moment. It's not like it ever really goes far.

Finally, though, he moves to swing his legs off the bed, testing how it feels to sit up properly. "So, hey. Can we get outta here? How big is this ship?" He definitely wants to know more, but sitting in a medical bay is doing zilch for his nerves. He wants out, and he wants to take Steve out with him. It's worse than it usually is, maybe, but hey. He figures he's allowed to be uncomfortable.

Steve stands back but crosses his arms over his chest. "Oh, yeah. Disappeared for a month, just woke up after being in an effective coma for another bunch of days, but yeah. You're awake and mobile so let's take a jog."

It says something about Steve's concern and the state of his mind the last month that he is being the cautious one, right now. He walks over to grab a scanner and passes it over Bucky's head and chest. The writing isn't anything he can read but he knows what he's looking for, medically. All seems sound. Still, Steve can't help but be a little concerned about Bucky just walking around.

He also can't help but know there is no fucking way to stop him, so...

"We'll walk to the Green Room and back. How's that? But if you pass out or bleed from the nose I am gonna drag you back by your ears. Got it, pal?"

Bucky rolls his eyes at Steve; "I said get out of here, not take a jog, you mook."

But the thing is... if Steve's concerned... Look. If Steve's concerned, then that doesn't bode well for Bucky's sense of panic, or lack thereof. Everything might be taking place very, very internally, but there are major alarm bells ringing right now, even as Steve passes some kind of scanner over him, and Bucky just hopes he even knows what the hell he's doing with it.

Also, that it tells Steve everything is fine. Bucky... really hopes everything is fine. Because if Steve is hiding shit from him, they're gonna have to have a talk.

"Sure," he says, "whatever the hell the Green Room is." He slides off the bed, steady on his feet (for what it's worth, Rogers), and gives Steve an expectant look.

Steve pauses as Bucky stands. He just stares at him for a second, eyes soft, before he's leaning in and wrapping his arms around him, tight. His face buries into his neck, breathing Bucky in and just remembering what it was like being close to him again. Having the man he loved back in his arms again.

"I missed you so bad, Buck," he admits softly into his skin. Steve's eyes close as he concentrates on his breathing and on not crying. It's hard but he can manage it.

"I was so scared you were really gone, this time. You got no idea..."

"Steve - " is all Bucky gets out, voice a little soft as his arms come pretty much automatically around Steve's waist, pulling him close, letting him get close.

God. He knows it felt like he'd just blinked, but that isn't what had happened, and he knows that, too. It's not how it works. He's been through this before. They've been through this before. Ad he can very, very easily imagine exactly how Steve had felt. What he'd been thinking.

It's so fucking unfair.

"Hey," he says softly, leaning close, pressing his cheek to the top of Steve's head. "Hey. I know. I know, and I'm sorry. I'm so fuckin' sorry this keeps happening. You know I want to stay with you."

Just like neither of them has much choice, in the end.

"You don't have to be sorry," he assures him. "I know it wasn't you. It wouldn't have been you. I know we would stay together if it was just up to us..."

Steve turns his head and kisses Bucky nice and slow this time. He is going to be doing that for awhile, now. Whenever he can. Bucky is just going to have to deal with it, but Steve is pretty sure he doesn't mind.

"But we're together now," he finally manages to get out as he pulls back and looks Bucky in the eyes. "You're here and I am gonna hold onto you with both hands because I am sick of missing the man I love and having all these regrets on my shoulders. No more. Absolutely no more."

But it never is up to them, and Bucky knows it. Steve knows it. They can't do a damn thing about it, though - and neither of them is the type to let a good thing pass them by, just because it might be lost tomorrow.

It doesn't make anything easier, though, and it doesn't do much to make Bucky less angry.

Here and now, though, he raises an eyebrow; he's not quite sure what kind of regrets Steve might have, but he isn't sure that asking about them is going to get him much of an answer, either. Steve tends to swing between playing his cards close to the vest and wearing his heart on his sleeve. Sometimes he manages both at the same time.

So, "Yeah," is all he says - he agrees, because living with regrets is shitty and he's done enough, too. "Yeah." He reaches up to touch Steve's face, then tilts his head toward the door. "Come on. You can hold on with both hands while we walk. I wanna make sure I still can."

He's itching to move, probably because he hasn't done it for quite a while now.

★ 3 ★

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