revivalproject | beach break

Entry tags:

beach break

WHO: Sansa + Baby Stark
WHERE: on the ocean planet!
WHAT: hanging out, mostly
WHEN: 29 July - 3 August
WARNINGS: TBD

Sansa actually likes ocean worlds even if the bright sun works a number on her skin. James, too, is pale but she's knitted him one hat before coming here and has her sewing things so she can knit another. Perhaps it's a little strange to see a woman and a baby under an umbrella on the beach but Sansa is enjoying the warmth and breeze from the ocean even if she cannot go swimming since James is with her.

Her knitting needles are the only sound around her, clicking comfortably, and she's very much lost in what she's doing. James has recently learned how to sit up and he's delighting himself with it, giggling every time he manages to pull himself up only to fall back down again. It's his newest trick, after all, and Sansa cannot believe how much he's grown. He hadn't felt small when she delivered but he had been a wee thing and now he's chubby with bright blue eyes and wisps of red curls starting to grow in.

"You look like your uncles Robb and Rickon, you do," she coos at him. "All Tully red and blue, yes you are. A little slippery fish."

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It has been a few days since Bucky disappeared and Steve uses the time on the planet to distract himself. He does more jobs than is likely wise and sleeps less than he likely should. But it is working to keep him treading water for now.

Good enough to keep him productive and helpful.

As he walks along, Steve sees Sansa and James and stops for a moment where he is. If anyone knew what he was feeling right now, it would be her. If only he didn't desperately not want to talk about.

Still, he puts on a smile and walks closer, ever eager to see the little baby.

"Enjoying the sun?" He doesn't want to surprise her and calls out from a little bit away. Closer: "Look at him. When did he start sitting up so well?"

"He's growing too quickly," Sansa says, both proud and terrified at the same time. She can still hold him in her arms and nurse him, though, so he's still her little baby for now. She's fearful of the day that he isn't.

"He giggles every time he pulls himself up, though," and James starts doing just that, giggling because he sees Steve. He reaches for him and babbles a little.

Steve honestly smiles for the first time in what has felt like years. He crouches down and lets James pull himself up and keep on babbling about his success. Steve picks him up and holds him so his feet can practice being on the ground. He's such a beautiful baby.

"Soon he'll be walking. Then we're all going to baby-proof a planet for this little one. Or put you in a little bubble. How about that, James? Huh?"

James gurgles in response and Sansa just looks relieved. "Yes, we'll have to put him in a bubble so nothing and no one hurts him. I'll just have to have my soldier, you, Bucky, and Tony stand around him in a circle so he never gets hurt."

It sounds like a sound plan on her end, anyway, and she's glad that if her son has to grow up without his blood father, he has several other fathers to model after.

"He'll be safer than I was."

Steve's gaze snaps up and holds for a second before turning back to James. She doesn't know. She hadn't heard yet. Steve hates to be the one to bring this sort of information to anyone but he has to say something.

"I am sure that all of us here won't mind being his buffer. But. Sansa..." He swallows and doesn't look up. "Bucky's been missing for almost a week, now. His shipmates said he vanished. Which..." Steve has to clear his throat.

"We know what that can mean."

"Oh...oh no. Steve, I'm so sorry," Sansa says, reaching her hand out for him. Her loss is still fresh and still aches some days but she has solace in her son and in her friends. She has solace in...whatever Tony is to her right now. Steve is so desperately in love with Bucky that Sansa had thought of them as a unit, always.

"Perhaps he'll be back. I left and came back once. It can happen, I promise."

He glances up at her with a weak smile but takes her hand gladly. He gives it a soft squeeze and settles James back down before scrubbing his face and finally talking.

"I keep hoping he will. I've lost him so many times. I really thought that maybe this here was the end of it." He exhales and looks up toward the sky. "I want to hope so much. But if I'm wrong..."

His shoulders slump forward just a bit.

"I don't know.

"If you're wrong, you'll put one foot in front of the other for a while," Sansa says. "And it'll be all you can do. Grief will press against your heart and it'll be all you can think of and feel and that will be all right. Still, one foot in front of the other."

She squeezes his hand. "Then it will be easier to go somewhere with a purpose - to see a friend, to have a drink. It'll be more than one foot in front of the other. You'll miss him, you always will, but you'll be able to love him and think of the good things instead of the black thorns around your heart. I don't think he's gone, though. Not truly. Perhaps I'm just being optimistic but...I think he'll be back. He loves you too much."

"Love usually doesn't have much to do with things, here. But I appreciate your optimism. I need to reclaim my own."

He squeezes her hand and raises it to give a kiss to the back in gratitude. "And if he does come back, I trust he will be thrilled to be part of the James bubble. Anything to keep this little one safe." He smiles and bumps his small nose with a finger, watching him giggle. It makes his heart feel light.

"And in the meantime I am your designated babysitter. It definitely helps to have this little guy to distract me. He's so sweet."

"I can use the help. I still have to nurse quite a bit but I can express it for later, too, so he can be with someone else for a little while. I know you don't want to know any of this but there's little shyness in being a nursing mother."

Sansa has had to get over any of her natural inclinations to be shy with her body, anyway, and perhaps it's for the better.

"You're one of the people he likes the best, you know."

Steve just laughs and shakes his head. "Don't worry about me. My ma was a nurse and I lived in a pretty open area. There was no way you didn't see nursing mothers everywhere, growing up. It was cheaper than formula and no one could afford that."

He looks back at James and takes his little hands in his own. He's so precious and so small. Steve can't help but be charmed by everything the baby does. Even blinking.

"I am really thankful that you trust me with him, Sansa. He is amazing. I hope I get to see what he grows up into; with you as his mother, I can only imagine how incredible he'll be."

"I sure hope he is. He's a Prince of Winterfell and I hope...I don't know if he'll be able to come back with me but I really hope that he can. He can be my heir and keep the Stark name strong in the North. We need more Starks in the world."

Sansa is enamored of her child and she doesn't know what she'd do without him. She's glad to have such good friends, though, who love her sweet boy.

"I am glad he has so many fathers here, though. I am blessed."

She's clearly one of them, and not one of the natives of the planet. Yet not one Reeve had the honor of meeting yet. So when he sees the woman on the beach the man, with a stuffed animal following him over the sands, moves to near her before sitting down.

"Good day. I don't believe we've had the privilege of meeting yet. I presume you're one of the fellow Agri guests?"

Sansa knows the man's face from the cave during calibrations but she doesn't know his name. She's tried to learn everyone's name and face while she's been among this new group and now she'll get the chance with this man.

"I am, yes. I am Sansa Stark, Queen in the North. Who do I have the pleasure of meeting?"

A queen? Reeve immediately dips into a respectful bow.

"Reeve Tuesti, your highness. Just a simple executive."

"My pleasure. Of course, being a queen isn't really important here but it's hard not to think of myself as one," Sansa says. "Well met, Reeve Tuesti. This little fellow is James Stark."

James, for his part, is playing at discovering his feet again.

Being an executive means nothing here, but Reeve thought of himself as such anyway. So he understood the sentiment.

"Well met, young man," he says, grinning at the child. "He is beautiful. Your son?"

"My son, yes. He is both my pride and my joy," Sansa says, beaming as she looks at James. Perhaps he is small just now but he's both her heir and her son and she couldn't be happier with him. He's perfect.

"My Prince of Winterfell, even if he's more interested in his toes than in ruling anything just now."

A prince. Reeve doesn't know how he feels about the concept of royalty, legitimate or not, but he does understand how to play to it. More or less.

He offers a nod to the boy, as if bowing.

"If nothing else, they are cute toes."

"The cutest," Sansa says. She's curious about the little doll, though, and she tips her head toward it. She's never seen such a thing and she has no idea why he has it or what its purpose is.

"I'm sorry, I'm curious about your...companion. What is it, exactly?"

"It's okay. A lot of people are curious about him."

Reeve reaches a hand out to Mini and the doll fumbles closer as Reeve sits.

"This is Mini-Cait. He's... magic."

"We don't have much magic in my world," Sansa says, peering at Mini-Cait and trying to determine how he works as best she can. This isn't her ken, things like this, but she thinks Bran might understand it better than she does.

"There are dragons, though, and I think dragons are as magic as anything. It takes magic to hatch a dragon egg, anyway."

"Not much is not the same as none," Reeve muses, and he would love to discuss the level of magic in her world. But she's moved on to dragons and both Reeve and Mini shudder at the thought.

"Perhaps. Perhaps not. In my world there is nothing particularly magical about them, beyond their ability to use magic. They are wild animals, like wolves or feral dogs or birds. They just, you know, like to eat people."

It still leaves Dany with a bit of a pang to see James and Sansa together, remembering her excitement for Rhaego and the potential of having a family again. It seemed long past, but there were moments when her heart twisted and that familiar anguish and pain resurfaced. She pushed herself to bury it, however, not wanting to upset Sansa, but not also wanting to look back.

If she looked back, she would be lost.

She joined Sansa on the beach, feeling a measure of comfort at being on a familiar planet with surroundings so similar to home. She basked under the sun, turning her face up towards the light.]

Do we know anything about this place?

( Sansa has wanted to do everything she can to help Daenerys to adjust to life here and she feels...protective of her, in a way. She doesn't want for Daenerys to become the bitter woman she was back in Westeros and she feels as if she can help somehow. )

James has discovered his feet and how to sit up. I think it's a little early but I don't mind my little prince figuring out things before it's normal. I'm proud of him.

He must be a clever boy. [There's a note of sadness in her voice as she looks down at the boy, remembering the vision of Rhaego she had been shown in the House of the Undying. She would never know this. Not with him and not with any other children in the future.

She cleared her throat, finding her smile again.]

He bears more of a resemblance to you than to anyone else.

He does. He has the look of House Tully, same as I do. Although I suppose it's the look of House Stark now, considering who I am. Would you like to hold him for a bit? He loves being held.

( Sansa isn't aware of Daenerys' trip in the House of the Undying or that she's barren, only that she has no children in the future Sansa has lived. Sansa is happy to let her hold the baby as she wants Daenerys to feel as if she belongs here. )

[She considers turning down the offer, but it's a kindly meant one and she is curious to know what it feels like to hold a child in her arms. Gently, she takes him from Sansa, careful to support his head, staring down at him with a mixture of wonder and sadness.]

I never got to hold my son like this.

( Sansa cannot imagine the pain of losing a child. She's lost her whole family and while she's gained some of it back, the loss of her parents and her two brothers will never go away. A child, though, a child of her body? She cannot imagine the agony. )

I'm so sorry. I cannot say what it is like because it has never happened to me and won't, Gods willing, but I wish I could comfort your loss. I can only offer the warmth of the family I have here.

That is why the dragons are important to me. They were born the night that I lost my husband and child. They were the only family I had left.

[Until now, it seemed. Something that she still felt overwhelmed with.]

Your son is beautiful.

( Sansa has never heard the true story behind the dragons and now hearing it, she feels a pang in her heart for Daenerys. How awful to lose your family and then attach your only family to those dragons and lose them too. )

Thank you. He is my pride. If it isn't too painful for you, you can always hold him. I trust you.

I would like the opportunity. It would help ease my heart, I think.

[She gently touched James's cheek, smiling at him sweetly.]

What will happen if you are sent home?

I don't know. I'm afraid he won't be able to come with me, honestly, which is why I want to stay here as long as I can. I don't want my world to change.

( Sansa is afraid to lose now, more afraid of it than she's ever been in her life. )

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