revivalproject | Taking a Break from SPAAACE!!

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Taking a Break from SPAAACE!!

WHO: Jon & you~
WHERE: That lovely tropical water-planet in the Tarf system.
WHAT: Pit Stop Mini Event! Bother Jon moping and being sad at the beach or get bothered by him one late evening at a local bar.
WHEN: During the event [ July 29th - August 3rd ]
WARNINGS: He's sad, he's moody and in the second prompt he's absolutely drunk.
Notes: Will match format.

a. trying to calm a racing mind

Getting off the ship again for a while is a nice change of pace, and while Jon hasn't actively planned to get involved in any of the trading and has been certain he wouldn't be needing anything, he still has been spending some time to acquire a couple of things. For the most part it have been clothes. But he has also picked up two knives, a small one and a larger one. Less with the intention of using them as weapons, but rather to have them as tools.

He also happened to come across what may count as the local brand of cigarettes, which is good. Especially now that he isn't confined to such a limited space and can actually have a direly needed smoke.

The Archivist has left his purchases on the ship and has wandered off to find the edge of the landmass and with it the stretching beach leading into the massive ocean that makes up the rest of this planet. There he sits down in the sand, gets out a cigarette and stares out onto the water, letting his thoughts drift and dwell and stir up emotions he had hoped to be able to keep locked up.

"...shit." He mutters to no one and pushes a hand up and under his glasses to rub his fingers across his burning eyes. Of course his thoughts would just circle back to Tony. To betrayed hopes, rejections, his own foolishness and a pain that that makes him want to claw his own heart out.

And yet he can't even bring himself to take the man's face off his phone's background.

But of course he can't do that. Not right now anyway. His phone is back at the ship and- He will do it when he gets back. If he remembers to do so. Or maybe tomorrow. Maybe.

...maybe.

b. someone mentioned very, very STRONG ALCOHOL?!

The empty glass hits the counter heavily and Jon vaguely gestures for another before returning his swaying attention to the person to his left. An unlucky, yet incredibly patient local.

"And- and-'nd- then I- aight. AIGHT! Yes? 'M right! Yes. yes..." He jabs the tape recorder sitting next to him on the counter sharply, then nods and squints at the local before declaring loudly: "'Dis! Iunno- Jus'-- Righ'ere. All 'ere. Jus'.... W-watch." Jon raises his index finger and jabs down the recorders buttons at random, then squints at it when nothing happens. "...aw, bollocks. Forgot 'bout them chicken...."

And for a moment Jon looks absolutely crestfallen since those forgotten chickens obviously mean his recorder doesn't work.

His mood changes abruptly again when a full glass is set down before him and he picks the glass up with a grin before turning to the patron on his other side. "Wha' d'you know 'bout amulshifiers? Now hear me out ... !"

Whoever that poor soul might be, they are now at the receiving end of a drunk emulsifier lecture from the Archivist.

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Okay, Tommy's TOTALLY storing that whole little emulsifier thing in the back of his head now. Thanks for that. It's actually sorta intriguing and he's ALMOST tempted to go for that because cooking is RELEVANT. In fact, he has to acknowledge it.

"When we get back planet-side you're going to tell me more about emulsifiers and maybe help me figure out some stand ins here while I try and cook. But for right now..."

He scoots the drink further away from Jon. Fuck. Why does it always have to be Stark?

"What's his royal iron-skull done now?"

And Jon would prefer to keep talking about chemistry. Chemistry is easy. It's science. It's something he can easily understand. But Tommy has to ask about Tony to which Jon produces a small sound of suffering before glancing back over.

"...sure isn't here, is he?" And he looks away again, clearly attempting to hypnotize the bar to swallow him whole. "Probably's with someone else. Again. God knows who... Can only tell you why: 'cause he never- Cared- About me."

Billy may have tried to convince him otherwise, though even without his current surplus of alcohol Jon has trouble believing that. Steve's advice may be more accurate. That he should be ready to accept the disappointment and rather find closure. Though even that proves difficult.

Of course he talks about Tony. Jon was the one to bring it up. How was he NOT going to take that bait?

"Stark sleeping around. Color me shocked," Tommy sighs, carding his fingers through his hair. That's pretty predictable. But the other part of it... damn if his heart doesn't go out to the guy. He knows what it's like to be unloved. Even if that wasn't what he expected this to be about.

But Tommy, he's got another take on it than Billy or Steve do. Not that he's offering it just yet.

"Did you care about him? I mean, I know I pulled your leg about it when he saved me, and in your head. But really, do you care about Stark?"

It's a long, suffering sigh that makes Jon's initial response, but the nod that follows isn't one of doubt or hesitation.

"...sorry if that's foolish to you." He already feels foolish for feeling how he feels, but it's not something he can do much about, unfortunately.

Don’t be stupid. Tommy throws back the second drink he stole from Jon and then waves the glass at him.

“What I think doesn’t fucking matter. Whether I think it’s foolish or not is moot. What ANYONE thinks about it doesn’t matter. What matters is how you feel about it, and how he does. And I’ve seen my share of mushy love and puppy love and one sided love. So I can say that if you’re here, it really meant something and is important. So the question is, have you talked to the moron?”

"I told him, Tommy!" Jon nearly snaps at Tommy, the effect of the alcohol fading. "I TOLD him back when he nearly died. He knows. So did Reeve. Christ, he CONVINCED me to tell Tony! I did. It didn't matter. Didn't matter to either of them. Because obviously I don't fucking matter. All I'm good for is being lied to. And toyed with. And given false hopes. And-" Great. He can already tell he's sobering up faster than he likes and it's all Jon can do to clench his fist on the bar and cast Tommy a bitter look. "...and I still want to go talk to him again, yes. But I'm afraid of doing so, Tommy. It still hurts as it is."

Reeve? Tommy groans.

"Oh, that fuck-wit. The old dude who fucked up my friendship with Hux and caused you to come and fuck with my head."

So yeah, he's definitely rooting for Jon over that fuck with. But Tommy considers this very carefully. He reaches out after a moment and puts a hand on Jon's arm.

"It hurts because you feel for him. That's okay. So here's my opinion. Go to Tony, tell him that if he wants some, he better be fucking exclusive, because you're a fucking catch and frankly he doesn't deserve you."

Which maybe Tommy gets. He KNOWS what it's like to not deserve it.

"You're a fucking magic-almost-god. Don't be afraid of him. You're the one that consumes fear. Let it make you stronger. You march right up to Stark and tell him to his face that he's yours and he better be fucking loyal or he can say goodbye because if he isn't going to invest his time, then he's not worthy."

Okay, so it's not the BEST advice, but Tommy's all for confidence and power.

There's a long moment of silence in which Jon simply stares at Tommy. Partly because he can't see this working out at all, and partly because there is a part of him that wants to prove his worth. That wants to be respected and maybe... Feared? Though that may well be the monster he is turning into.

"I, ah-" He starts, not sure where to go with his own words. This might be easier to respond to if he were still adequately drunk.

"Thanks... Tommy." Jon starts again. "But I.... I don't realistically see myself being able to follow your advice. Tony..... I don't think he would be bothered much to not be... Worthy... Of me."

"I think he would," Tommy counters with a sigh. "Trust me. Geniuses don't think they're worthy of love. Or they're idiots who don't fucking get it when you ask them out."

Okay, that's a bit personal, Tommy. Reel it back in. Focus! Jon's issues, not your own. With a sigh he pokes Jon in the shoulder.

"You probably deserve better than him. But you also deserve to follow your heart. So take a second swing at him. Sit that bitch down and tell him that you want this. That you can be this for him while you're both here. That it's okay to be scared of having feelings or whatever. And if he doesn't like it, then we'll prank him or something."

"You speak of experience!" Jon is quick to point out, not having missed that first bit now that his body has rid itself of most of the alcohol he has spent so much time and effort consuming. He doesn't really prod, though. Not after that little poke and those oddly genuine words.

".....well..." There's a pause. "...please don't throw him into the ocean?"

That's... Something like an agreement, at least.

Yes, he's definitely experienced in this. Tommy hates it. He groans and shakes his head.

"Can we not talk about the massive fuck up that is my lack of serious love life? We're here to talk about your apparently sinking one. And I won't throw him in the ocean. Billy would get mad at me for it."

But it's something different entirely. Tommy shifts on his stool to lean a bit closer.

"Geniuses are morons about their hearts. Seen it a lot. Known them to fuck shit up tons too. No matter their age. So you gotta, like, spell it out for their stupid asses."

While Jon casts Tommy a quiet look at the mutant's request, Jon settles with a simple nod and a quiet 'Okay.' There is no reason to dig up any further unpleasantries.

Then he shrugs and just seems to want to shrink away into nonexistence. That would make many things easier for everyone involved, wouldn't it. Especially if what Tommy suggests is what would actually work for Tony. That's hardly something Jon can be - Or pretend to be.

"I will Try." He finally finally accepts. "...thanks."

Listen, dig later. First Tommy's gonna try and fix you. Even if talking to Jon about it would be easier than talking to Billy or Teddy. It's awkward talking to your brother and his fiance about it when they both have reasons to dislike the guy you've already blown it with.

"You've got the same issue Billy does. Confidence. Sometimes you just gotta act like you can't do anything wrong, and maybe you won't."

Confidence, right. Jon can be confident. With things that aren't interpersonal relationships. He's really good at knowing science related things. Or with issues regarding the paranormal. But this? This is a territory he has hardly ever touched with his toes and already feels like he is drowning.

"Are you certain I can't do anything wrong, Tommy...?" Oh, he doubts that. Very much, even.

Well that's a stupid question and Tommy snorts in amusement over it.

"Dude, I didn't say that. I said sometimes you've got to ACT like it. Because then you feel more confident, and that makes you more able to do things right. It's just how the world works. Fake it til you make it."

"You say that as if it were easy..." Jon remarks with a frown and gestures for a new drink for himself, actually picking that glass up for himself this time, peering into it thoughtfully. "...he did appear... Intrigued. By the idea of me yelling at him, I suppose." But those memories... Those were a wholly different context. He has been performing for an audience, nothing else. He doubts the effect can really be the same on a single person.

"Fuck that. It's not easy. It's hard as hell. But I think someone once said something like 'it's the hard shit that's worth it' or something," Tommy answers, quickly waving off Jon's protest.

Tommy is hardly good at quotes, or at living his own life. But he's been through enough shit to feel like he can justify giving SOME advice.

"Sometimes that even works, you know? Helps you fool yourself. So try it. Also, if fucking Tony stark has a 'dominate me daddy' kink, I REALLY don't wanna know it. But I've met people like that before. Strong people used to being relied on or some bullshit. So yeah, try yelling at him. He might like it."

There is NO WAY Jon would be able to miss the very real shudder that goes through Tommy at even THINKING about that idea. That potential is a serious TMI and Do not want.

No, he doesn't miss it. And the face he makes is- Well. It's there. If only because Tommy used the term kink to refer to a potential interaction between Tony and himself. And unfortunately Jon knows what that term means. And at least speaking for himself, Jon can say that he wouldn't enjoy yelling at someone he loves.

"...he does have to be difficult, hasn't he." He sighs, taking a sip of his drink. At least the stuff here is potent. "And in the end he may not see more in me than another body to have his fun with..."

"Tony? Fuck yeah. Stark actually means 'difficult fucking asshole' where I'm from. It's in the dictionary."

It's not, but Tommy will stand by his point forever. Unlike his brother, he doesn't have a case of hero worship for Tony Stark or Iron Man. Still, he sighs and pokes Jon's shoulder again.

"Is that really so bad?"

It's the question that earns Tommy the frown rather than the poke.

"Tommy... Where I'm from I'm already little more than The Archivist to most people I know. I'm a role with a function. And I don't even know what function that is. Who I am aside from The Archivist doesn't matter. What I want doesn't matter. What I feel... It doesn't matter unless it's terror or pain." This isn't something he thought he'd be telling Tommy of all people. "I just... I don't want to be a thing. A number... A role. I... I want to matter. Maybe that's selfish, but... I want to matter to the person I love. I want to matter to them as Jonathan Sims, the human. Not as The Archivist, Avatar of The Beholding. I want them to be a reason to remain human for. If all he wants is my body, then he doesn't want me."

Not that he deems his own body to be something a person might yearn for. There isn't really a lot to it. And especially Tony can do much better. Already has done notably better. Unless Tony merely picked him to scratch a more peculiar itch , but thinking that way hurts greatly.

Nice long way to say 'yes, it is'. But Tommy gets it. He's been like that too. Just something people used, that was there when it was convenient. He was Speed and not Tommy. Sucked. But you learned to use people on their own terms sometimes.

"It sucks, when people don't want you for who you are. Guess I'm just used to consolation prizes."

Wanted for a use was better than completely unwanted. Right? Tell him he's right.

"I'm going to say something here and it's going to sound crazy, okay? You're too good for him."

Jon lets out a short, dry chuckle at that. "You're right. That does sound crazy. But anyway... Thanks, I suppose."

Not necessarily for those exact words, but at least for trying. And for allowing Jon to talk.

"And for what it's worth, I don't think either of us deserves having to get used to... Consolation prizes." Well, he can't exactly help that he picked up on Tommy's hints. Though he still feels that Tommy is way too young to be speaking of this much personal experience.

Awww, stop being so accurate, Jon. Tommy sighs. Tommy doesn't know what to say about that. But he doesn't bother to talk about it.

"You take it in stride."

"Am I..." Jon muses before taking another long drink. Then he shrugs.

"I feel a little better now. After talking about it. Still have to decide what to do, obviously. But... Better." That hasn't really changed. Though Jon does appreciate the input he has received on the matter so far.

Better. Tommy smiles at that. He helped. Even gives a smile.

"I meant you in a general sense."

But yes, he feels like he's done something. "Less drinking."

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