Happiness lies in the past. Ahead waits only empty SPACE!

[beholding_archivist]

WHO: Remaining Vanquish Crew [ Jon, Teddy, Raphael & Chikai ] & Network || Open to potential visitors
WHERE: The one place that hasn't been corrupted by capitalism. SPAAACE
WHAT: The Vanquish's pilot has vanished after its start and one Archivist begrudgingly addresses the network.
WHEN: Shortly after the ships leave Agra 10 + the happy space trip that follows
WARNINGS: Moody Archivist
NOTES: Basically a Free For All sort of things for everyone on the Vanquish. Our Pilot!Bucky is on hiatus, and Raphael will fill in for him so we don't crash into any planets! Bother Jon, make your own TLs or have sleepovers while we fly through space~

Missing Pilot
If it were up to him, Jon would have rather stayed back in Temba, hiding away in the basement of the library and not having to deal with anyone or anything. And yet, here he is. Standing quietly next to the miraculously empty pilot seat of the Vanquish, staring at it with a deep frown.

That's... Great. He briefly eyes the controls and the monitors and the many, many buttons. Thankfully, the ship's course has been set before the man that has gotten them off the ground has simply- How does that even work?!

With a brief sigh and a displeased mutter the Archivist taps a finger against the recorder in his hand, then turns back around to find the rest of the people he is stuck with in this dreadful contraption.

"So. We may not know where he is, but we do have a second pilot. That's... Acceptable for now, I suppose." Acceptable. Still, if Jon hasn't appeared very pleased before, his mood certainly has dropped even further.

Visiting Hours
It's a long trip they have ahead of them and of course people are bound to get bored. And it's notably worse than being stuck in the tunnels. They had more space there. Finding a quiet corner has been easier. And quiet corners are what Jon yearns for.

It's especially bad when people from the other ships decide to visit and he has to try and avoid more people than his own crew. And every darn time someone requests to enter the Vanquish, the Archivist flinches with a little grimace, dreading that the person about to board their ship is the one person he just can't bear facing right there and then.

So he tends to watch from a safe distance whenever someone shows up and in most cases simply retreats either into the crew quarters or the cockpit, depending on which happens to be empty at that moment.

The remaining crew may be happy to see some friendlier faces than his, however.

NETWORK

[ audio ]

[ There's a brief flicker of static before Jon's voice cuts straight through it, crisp and somber. ]

Right.

[ He's putting in a lot of effort to hide how tense he really is - And just how much being in a space ship freaks him out. ]

Jonathan Sims reporting from the Vanquish. Our pilot, Bucky has vanished. We do have a replacement on board, however. We're fine.

[ He pauses and there is the faint sound of paper rustling. ]

To the ships' medical personnel:
I assume you have found and picked up the bag of medical supplies I left at the entrance of each ship. Be mindful with these supplies and refer to the included instructions. Any questions can be directed at me.

I am well aware that the medical data point did not magically teach you about human biology or basic first aid. These were originally set up to use the equipment in the hospital which has never been designed to be used on humans. So again: If you run into a problem you don't know how to deal with, I will try to assist as best as I can with what I know.

[[ ooc note: The bags Jon is referring to contain a couple of bandages, sterile cloths, two bottles of disinfectants - one for surfaces, the other to be used on wounds - and three bottles with medications in liquid form. None of the bottles are labelled directly, but have differently colored caps on them and can be identified with the mentioned instructions: One is a basic painkiller, one is a simple anaesthetic that can also be used to help people sleep, the last is basically the opposite. There is also a bag of tea made from herbs native to Agra 10 that supposedly helps with nausea and has an overall calming effect. ]]

Comments

[brooklyn_boy]

[Steve goes pale and quiet for a moment. When he speaks again his voice is monotone and soft.]

He might have been sent home, then. That happens. We're taken and...then we can be sent back.

[beholding_archivist]

It happens, indeed.

Maybe he's just the first and this trip ultimately sends us all back to where we came from.

[ And for once Jon doesn't dread that possibility. ]

[brooklyn_boy]

[That idea hadn't occurred to him and it makes Steve tense up all over. If that's the case, what 'home' will he be sent to? His original universe? The planet he and Bucky had made a home on after the 'Fleet? Agra 10?

He contributes a bland hum to the conversation, face contorted in worry. Bucky would have been the first. But that still didn't say where he was or if Steve would see him again. He lets out a shaky sigh.]

I can...I can collect his things. If you wanted his room. If you need me to.

[beholding_archivist]

I'm not keeping you from doing so, but- It's only one big shared room anyway, so it makes no difference. No one will eject his belongings out of an airlock.

So you're a friend of his.

[ Stating the obvious. ]

[brooklyn_boy]

[ Jon didn't know. Of course not. Why would he? ]

He's my boyfriend. Partner. Or. Was my partner. I guess we'll see.

[beholding_archivist]

[ No, he didn't know. But hearing it like this results in a silence from the Archivist. The way Steve says it. No hesitation, just sharing a fact. ]

I... see.

[ Beat. When he speaks again, his voice is softer. ]

I'm sorry.

[brooklyn_boy]

Me too.

[He inhales shakily and lets it out again nice and slow. From there he just clears his throat and takes a second to compose himself before speaking again.]

We've lost each other many times. Mostly me, but...

[He clears his throat again and sniffles once.]

Sorry. I'm shouldn't unload this on you. I can come and get his things. Maybe when we get to our destination. Unless you wanted anything?

[beholding_archivist]

No, it's fine. I- I am used to listening to people. It's... It's part of my job. Back on Earth. So if you need to talk... I can listen.

I will set his things aside.

[brooklyn_boy]

[He gives a hollow laugh and scrubs a hand over his face.]

I appreciate it. I do. Honestly, I don't even know where I would start.

I watched him fall into a ravine and die. Then spent over a year thinking he was dead only to get him back brain-washed and traumatized in ways I couldn't begin to help with. Then I get taken by aliens and given an alternate version of him that I fall in love with. Only to then decide to abandon going back to my reality and have him taken by the Agrii three years before me. And now. Now...

[He didn't mean to say any of that but his wound is still open, bleeding, and raw. He glances up at Jon and his cheeks go pink.]

I'm sorry. Really. I'll be fine.

I'm used to this.

[beholding_archivist]

...Jesus.

[ Yes, that's a valid initial reaction. ]

You have been around. Both of you.

[ He pauses for a moment. ]

...you chose not to return to your own reality? For him...?

[ Not too long ago Jon would have said the same regarding Tony. But... Now this isn't a choice he will have to consider any longer. ]

I mean. He seems to have a way to return to you. Maybe... Maybe he shows up again.

[brooklyn_boy]

[ Steve skipped over what was actually a very, very hard conversation and choice for him. ]

It was more complicated than just me saying I would stay behind. I had a duty back home. A world that I felt responsible for protecting. But Bucky--my Bucky-- was from another universe entirely. Another reality. If I left, I would never see him ever again. I wouldn't even remember him.

[And now Bucky might be off somewhere not remembering him. Steve blows out a breath.]

I hope he comes back. I do. But...I don't regret anything I did. It was worth it, even if it was just for the time we had.

Nothing is forever.

[beholding_archivist]

Nothing is forever... Indeed.

[ It's true, but also disheartening in a way. ]

You were happy together, I assume.

[brooklyn_boy]

I was planning to ask him to marry me.

[What a foolish thing to have waited on. Look where it got him.]

Which I guess was a silly idea. None of us have any control over our lives, here. We can come and go at another's whims. Probably silly to try and make something permanent in the face of that.

[beholding_archivist]

[ Oh... ]

...yet you tried. And that- I want to say that's what counts. You didn't ignore your feelings merely because your situation wasn't ideal.

I... That's actually admirable. And I hope he returns to you.

[brooklyn_boy]

I do too. I really do, too...

[He smiles over at Jon, cheeks flushed.]

Er. Thanks. I know you didn't sign up for therapy sessions but I appreciate talking about it with someone. Please let me return the favor, if you ever need it.

[beholding_archivist]

Oh, th-thanks. For the offer. I mean... I said I'm used to listening to people, so... You're welcome.

[ Jon is a little bit flustered because - Heck. This is one earnest and uncomplicated guy. Like the complete opposite of Tony. ]

Next time we- We should have some tea prepared.

[brooklyn_boy]

[Steve smiles.]

Tea sounds nice. Anytime you want to, I'll be game.

Everyone needs to talk to someone.

[beholding_archivist]

Not untrue...

Maybe we can... Meet. Once we are back on solid ground.

[brooklyn_boy]

I take it you don't like space travel much?

[beholding_archivist]

Never been to space before, but.... Not the greatest fan so far, no.

[brooklyn_boy]

Claustrophobic?

[Steve is jaded at this point but he can understand.]

Or is it just space you don't like?

[beholding_archivist]

[ Just a sigh and a short shake of his head. ]

It's... Actually less related to being in space. I-... I'm just... Trying to deal with my own... Loss, you might say. Being in this ship... It gives me fewer options to hide.

[brooklyn_boy]

[Steve frowns and feels guilty for putting more on this guy after he too lost someone.]

I'm so sorry. Did they vanish too?

[beholding_archivist]

Ah... N-no. He's still a-around.

...but that only makes it harder. S-seeing he's had... no qualms just moving on. Learning you're... Replaceable th-this easily... That you never really mattered...

Just hurts.

[brooklyn_boy]

[Oh. Oh, that kind of loss.

Steve gives Jon a soft look. He doesn't know who he's referring to but he knows that situation.]

I'm sorry. It can't be easy to have him around and see him with other people. But, if it helps, I'm sure you're not replaceable. He probably needed a distraction and got scared when it became more than that.

[Yeah. Funny enough he's unintentionally using his Tony as a point of reference.]

You mattered. I'm sure of it. If you didn't matter then he'd have had no issue keeping it going and hurting you worse.