Cipher Nine (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
stabgremlin) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
revivalproject2020-06-03 03:08 pm
stabgremlin) wrote in revivalproject2020-06-03 03:08 pm
Keyword: Onomatophobia
WHO: Aden Nahain & Open
WHERE: Aden's Calibration Room!
WHAT: Calibrations! Aden will be angry about this eventually.
WHEN: During the calibration event.
WARNINGS: Uhh... Torture, violence, murder, xenophobia, brainwashing, drug use... Will add if more comes up.
On first glance, it looks like a normal boyhood room.
There's a small bed, and equally child-sized furniture like a desk and chair, a shelf with toys on it, and a white kite propped up against a wall.
The sheets on the bed are midnight blue and have clouds and stars on them and there's many soft-looking pillows, and a stuffed animal that's seen better days. Its fur is slightly dirty, and one button eye has fallen off. Though it's obviously been ripped in places, there's obvious clumsy attempts at patching it up with mismatched thread, and there's hairpin stuck onto its head.
There's a glossy button glinting beneath the bed, and further beneath the bed, there's a wooden practice blade.
On the wall above the bed, there's a large model of a space ship clumsily put together.
Looking around more though, there are things that are very out of place.
There's a blaster rifle leaning against a bookshelf, and on the windowsill where sunlight is shining in, and the wind is making sheer white curtains flutter, there's a holo of six young women and one teenage boy- not out of place, but what is out of place is the shiv next to it.
A bottle of pills lays open next to the small trash can by the desk, a few white pills having spilled out.
Looking in the trash can itself, there's a lot of discarded cards that have been crumpled up or torn to pieces- one card is still intact.
Even the toy shelf holds things that are out of place- there's a fragmentation grenade, and a strange metal mask.
There's a lightsaber hilt too, though that's next to the room's occupant- Aden himself, seated on the floor, looking toward the window at the clear skies outside. Somewhere in the room a music box plays, though it's hard to pin down where the sound is coming from.
WHERE: Aden's Calibration Room!
WHAT: Calibrations! Aden will be angry about this eventually.
WHEN: During the calibration event.
WARNINGS: Uhh... Torture, violence, murder, xenophobia, brainwashing, drug use... Will add if more comes up.
On first glance, it looks like a normal boyhood room.
There's a small bed, and equally child-sized furniture like a desk and chair, a shelf with toys on it, and a white kite propped up against a wall.
The sheets on the bed are midnight blue and have clouds and stars on them and there's many soft-looking pillows, and a stuffed animal that's seen better days. Its fur is slightly dirty, and one button eye has fallen off. Though it's obviously been ripped in places, there's obvious clumsy attempts at patching it up with mismatched thread, and there's hairpin stuck onto its head.
There's a glossy button glinting beneath the bed, and further beneath the bed, there's a wooden practice blade.
On the wall above the bed, there's a large model of a space ship clumsily put together.
Looking around more though, there are things that are very out of place.
There's a blaster rifle leaning against a bookshelf, and on the windowsill where sunlight is shining in, and the wind is making sheer white curtains flutter, there's a holo of six young women and one teenage boy- not out of place, but what is out of place is the shiv next to it.
A bottle of pills lays open next to the small trash can by the desk, a few white pills having spilled out.
Looking in the trash can itself, there's a lot of discarded cards that have been crumpled up or torn to pieces- one card is still intact.
Even the toy shelf holds things that are out of place- there's a fragmentation grenade, and a strange metal mask.
There's a lightsaber hilt too, though that's next to the room's occupant- Aden himself, seated on the floor, looking toward the window at the clear skies outside. Somewhere in the room a music box plays, though it's hard to pin down where the sound is coming from.
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It's the bed, in particular, that keeps drawing his eye. The spread is nice. Kinda cute, especially when paired with the model ship. Even though the pattern is different, it reminds him a bit of the phase Toi went through where he insisted on getting soccer-covered everything. Smirking a bit, Chikai leans to take a closer look at the stuffed animal. "This guy here got a name?"
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The fact that there was a human here that he didn't know clued him in on this not being a regular dream, at least. Helpful. When it came to weird dreams though, Aden was already a pro, so he took this with some grace- at least this wasn't a nightmare, and at least that bastard Watcher X wasn't around to taunt him when he should be dead and gone.
That was one voice he didn't need in his mind again.
"Decorated it myself, don't I have a fucking talent?" He asked, words near dripping sarcasm, though those red eyes did shift to look at what the other man was looking at, brows raising a little, "Name...? I think it used to. Back when I was a kid and into naming inanimate objects."
A relic of a bygone age was what it was. Of a time before he became what he was now.
"Now though... Disaster zone seems fitting," The Chiss said with a huff of laughter, "What was I thinking... Might not want to touch it though, it's so dirty who knows what kind of diseases might be sticking to it."
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"Nice of you to be concerned about my health, but it's a dream anyway, right? I don't think you have to worry," he says, as he scoops the toy up in one hand.
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It was a kitchen- and if the look of the room was anything to go by, it was in the same house as the bedroom. No sullen Chiss man on the floor of the kitchen though, instead there was a child around five years of age with a worn stuffed animal clutched in one hand, and a young woman, similarly freckled and with the same dark blue hair as the child, working on cooking.
"A'kharre! A'kharre! Is mom coming home? And dad? Hey! Are they coming home!"
"Dee! Settle down!" The woman snapped, with exhaustion rather than anger, trying to nudge the child away with a foot.
"But are they! Are they coming home? Hey!"
Sighing deeply, the young woman moved away from what she was doing, crouching down so she could look Aden in the eye, "I don't know. You know how it is. They're busy. Their work is important."
"More important than us?" Aden asked, with a look of genuine concern.
"It's important because of us."
"... They're never here though. It's always you."
"Is that a bad thing? That it's always me?"
Aden hugs his stuffed animal- there's a tear in it, a bit of its stuffing sticking out- "No. I miss them."
"I do too, Dee. Now, go fix Mr. Snuggles up, and dinner will be ready when you're done, alright?"
"Yeah..."
The five-year old, still hugging his stuffed animal, goes and runs out- past his adult self, and a certain someone who just couldn't leave well enough alone.
"... What the fuck," The adult Aden comments, with a look of... Horror? Irritation? Both? Who knows.
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“Well, guess we know what this thing’s name is now,” he finally says, laughing lightly, “‘Mr. Snuggles’, huh?”
He’s really not trying to be mean, exactly. It’s just what he’d want someone to do if they happened to catch sight of anything private of his. Brush it off. Make it not a big deal. Still, the more the thought of it lingers, the more it irritates him. He lets out a sigh, tossing the toy back onto the bed, and turns towards his host.
“So, I’m guessing that was your sister or something?” He raises an eyebrow, shoving his hands into his pockets, “Us big siblings sure have it rough when the parents fall short.”
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But then, it was probably because he was a bad person.
Never mind that.
"It was a hand-me-down. Like most of the other stuff I owned."
Clothes, toys. Most of it still in good condition, though it didn't change the fact that they'd been clothes and toys meant for girls.
"One of them," He answered finally, shrugging his shoulder, "I have six. All older than me."
He didn't like this. Being known. He would have been just fine lurking at the edges of what passed for civilization here. Still, this guy wasn't too blame. He wouldn't take his anger out on him, "Poor thing, right? Still basically just a kid herself and having to lug me around like I was her son instead of her brother."
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That's as close as he can get to touching on the tangled mess of feelings he has about his own situation. Even if he wanted to go dishing his secrets to a stranger, there's no simple way to express them. It'd be a lie to say he's never resented being in this position, especially when it came to the people responsible, but... it wasn't like he stuck with his brother this whole time for no reason at all.
"'Sides, I can't exactly speak for your sis" he adds, throwing a grin back over his shoulder, "But if anyone called me a 'poor thing' over something like that, I'd shank 'em." Hopefully, it sounds like a joke.
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She'd kept him out of trouble, for the most part. At least back then. His trouble-making tendencies hadn't kicked in until much later, when it was way out of her hands. Way out of Aden's too. It was strange, getting a look back at who he'd been.
Himself with an open expression, unguarded.
"She taught me a lot."
Cooking, cleaning, budgeting, mending clothes. Life skills.
Skills he'd taken with him when he'd set out on his own.
The other man's comment about how he'd shank someone over being called a poor thing for something like that made him laugh. There was a hint of that cold, humorless laugh that had become the norm for him, but a bit of genuine amusement too. That was rare.
"Honestly she'd probably kick my ass if she heard me say it. Or if she ever hears that I've so much as thought it..."
How long had it been, since he saw her? Years. If it hadn't been for this, he was sure he'd have forgotten her voice.
"She's probably started her own family by now. Husband, kids. That sort of thing."
They all probably had.
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A shame, but not really a surprise. Relationships were fickle beasts, even between family. Maybe especially then. It was all too easy to take people for granted when you counted on shared blood to always grease the wheels. Not that Chikai ever did that, obviously.
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Not like she'd stopped being his sister, after all, even if they hadn't spoken in quite some time. Family was family, and he missed her sometimes. Not that he could ever go home to the Ascendancy, much as he might want to.
"We don't," He confirmed, with a slightly tired smile, "Her place is in the Chiss Ascendancy. Mine isn't, any more."
And even if he should be able to return, it wasn't like he was the same person who had left. And his sister- all of his sisters- deserved better than what was left of him.
"She's safe where she is though. That's all that really matters."
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Something about the guy's attitude about the whole situation - the easy acceptance he seems to have - rubs Chikai the wrong way, though he can't quite put a finger on why. He decides not to think about it too deeply. It doesn't really matter, probably. Instead he simply continues on with, "My little bro's always bugging me about wanting to tag along, no matter how many times I tell him not yet."
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That was why he was the one who went away. Through training, both Chiss and Imperial, and he became someone who's not the brother who left. They deserved to be around people who hadn't cracked under the pressure. They deserved peace, and the safety of living in the Ascendancy.
He didn't.
And he wasn't suited for peace any more. It was why he hated this place so much- too much peace. And he didn't know what to do with himself.
"Your brother wants to get into your line of work then. Unsuited as he might be right now?"
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He shakes his head a bit, clearing it of the passing thought. That was all just temporary, so it didn't really matter. Once they were together again, Chikai was sure he'd be able to convince his brother that he didn't have to worry about every little thing so much. He heaves an overly dramatic sigh, spreading his hands in a 'what can you do?' gesture. "It's funny, y'know? He'll listen to me about pretty much anything, except when I try to tell him no."
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He spoke from experience there. After all, he'd always been told no when it came to playing in the nearby shipyard. And yet, when everyone who worked there had gone home for the day, that was where he'd been playing, climbing on things not meant to be climbed on, and should he have fallen, he would not have survived.
"Weren't you like that when you were a kid, too?"
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"But he's not a problem child like I was." Sure, from an outside perspective, a kid who wanted to follow his big brother into a life of crime would probably seem like one. Chikai knew better though. "He doesn't do things just to be difficult."
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The Joiner gazed at the model of a ship, then turned to the white kite. "You were always a curious child, weren't you?"
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He'd been different, when he was a child. Even as a teenager. Not what he was now. He'd been outgoing, positive, curious, hard-working. So different from the bitter, jaded man he'd become. Now he knew, that idealism was the first casualty, and that war made monsters of all who had to endure it.
It was why he'd often left Vector behind on the ship when duty called. He didn't want it happening to Vector as it had happened to him.
"Not much of that left in me, is there?"
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Vector turned to the holo and gravitated towards it, taking in the faces displayed. Was that Aden as a child? He looked so different. Vector wished he could have met that boy, before the Empire made him what he was today.
"Is this your family?"
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As a child, even a teenager, he couldn't imagine. The violence, the torture, the murdering. All the wrong turns Aden's ended up taking in his life. Almost giving himself over to a monster for the mere chance at personal power.
He watched him move over to the holo- of Aden, and his six sisters. They were all smiling, and there wasn't even a shadow of bitterness on Aden's face.
"Me and my sisters. My parents were probably at work."
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"We wish we could have met you during childhood. We think you and I would have been friends."
Vector reached out and touched the holo, so he could get a closer look.
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The room changed- still Aden's bedroom, though there were no weapons to be found, and Aden himself as a teenager, hair much longer than he kept it as an adult, tied back into a braid. His face didn't have the scar yet, and he looked much more positive than his adult self ever could.
Obviously he was getting ready to leave, working on packing a bag, and looking up toward the window, moved to snatch the holo of himself and his sisters, shoving it into his bag, before zipping it up.
Looking toward the door, he smiled, as a female Chiss stepped into view- she was taller than Aden, and didn't have the same freckles as he did, but the shade of her hair was similar enough. One of his sisters.
"You all done there, Dee? Ready to go?"
"Just about," The younger Aden responded, slinging his back up over his shoulder, "Not sure how I feel about leaving..."
"Once the baby, always the baby, huh?" His sister asked with a laugh, coming into the room to give him a hug, and ruffle his hair, "Come on now. Don't want to be late."
"I'm never late, everyone else's just early," Aden laughed, though as she let go of him, he moved to leave the room, and run downstairs. The memory's scene shifted, and they were outside in Copero's sunshine, with its peaceful streets and snowy mountains off in the distance, and all six sisters were there, along with Aden himself.
"Take care, kid," Two of his sisters said, speaking in unison. The way the two looked the same, obviously, they were twins.
"Take care to chew your food rather than inhale it, okay? None of us are there to keep you from choking," One said, with a cheeky smile, reaching out to mess up her brother's hair, until he swatted her hand away with a little hey!, though obviously wasn't making too much effort to stop her.
"Don't go out too late," The fourth woman said, and the fifth added, "Yeah, don't want to scare everyone on Csilla by making them think there's a monster lurking in the shadows."
Everyone sort of gave a snort of laughter at that, and finally the sixth of his sisters stepped forward and tugged him into a hug.
"Write," She said, hugging him tighter, "Call. Write and call, and let us know when everything's okay and when everything's not. Promise."
She let him go, and Aden smiled, though it was obvious enough that he was about to cry, "I promise."
All six of his sisters moved in then, sharing one last group hug before letting Aden go. And then the memory faded away, leaving the very much adult Aden and Vector back in the room.
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When it shifted back to the present, he glanced at Aden. "They loved you very much. And you loved them."
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They were his family, after all. Even though it had been years now since he spoke with them, even wrote to them. Even with the lack of contact, familial bonds like theirs didn't really break. Of course, Aden never intended to see them again.
He imagined they wouldn't recognize him, due to what he'd become.
"They all took time off from their work to see me off. Only them though... My mother and father... Didn't consider it important enough, I guess."
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They were Aden's family, and thus they were Vector's family too. Hopefully they would be accepting that their brother was with a non-Chiss, because Vector had seen that Chiss could be untrusting of outsiders and he'd even met a Chiss who chose not to take his human bride back to meet his family.
"You never talk about your family."
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Once they got over the shock of Vector being a man. And not a Chiss. They'd get over it though, he was sure they would. No one made Aden happier than Vector could, and if his family couldn't accept that, then Aden could do without them.
Nothing could make him leave the other man. Not even disapproval from his family.
"I don't often have a reason to think about them, to be honest. When I left the Ascendancy, they became my past. And agents of the Empire don't really need pasts."
Or futures. But Aden had always seen a future. If he didn't, he would have lost his mind long ago.
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Vector put the holo down and approached Aden, putting his hands on the Chiss's waist and leaning down for a brief kiss. "We always thought you would need to become like us to experience your memories."
It wasn't so much that Vector wanted Aden to become a Joiner, so much as it was a form of intimacy that he wished was possible without having to make such a commitment.
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Not that Aden liked his mind being on display for anyone to see. There were memories, thoughts, that people were better off not knowing. A mountain of sins that Aden himself preferred not thinking about, that he preferred running from.
He smiled slightly then, and leaned up to press a kiss to the corner of Vector's lips.
"I'm just glad you got a happy one. Though there are a few more happy ones in here."
A pause then, before he blushed slightly, "Want to see another one?"
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It meant a lot to Vector that Aden was willing to share this with him. He liked to think he would willingly do this for no other.
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He'd never physically written cards, of course. But he knew that the lot of them, the torn and the one still intact, was his trying to figure out of his feelings for Vector.
And he wanted him to see just how far back his feelings stretched.
"It's... Something I think you should see."
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Reaching out, Vector took the card in hand.
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"If I can manipulate a Hutt, I can handle a baron," He says, confidently, and perhaps it's strange for Vector to see himself from the outside like this. Or maybe it's completely normal.
"A Hutt? Indeed."
Perhaps he hadn't seen it then, but Vector's tone, the his expression, made Aden stand up a bit straighter, and there's a look in his eye that might just be the beginnings of infatuation. He's hanging onto every word, paying a sort of attention that while Vector might not have known then, but definitely knows now, that few ever get from him.
"We must proceed to the Dance of Unlighting, but we'll remain here for the duration of your mission. We suggest you present yourself to Cortess as an ally of the Empire. Show strength... And don't mention your Intelligence connections."
Aden nods, and gives a short bow, hissing as Kaliyo then punches him in the shoulder. But the two walk together, past all the Killiks, and out into the daylight of Alderaan. The pair continue walking in silence for some time and once some distance has been walked, Aden stops- and sinks down into a little ball, face going an impressive shade of purple.
"What in the hell was that!" He exclaimed, as Kaliyo rolled her eyes.
"And there it is," She said, "The rare loss of composure from mister professional. Didn't know you were into bugs."
"Shut your mouth, Kaliyo."
"Nah. So what's it about him, anyway? I haven't seen you act so damn pathetic before."
"Well, I haven't seen someone so-"
"Bug-brained?"
"Polite. Well-spoken. Intelligent. Do men accept cute as a compliment?"
"No."
"I'm not taking your word for it," Aden said, rising to his feet again, "Well, he's probably not into Chiss guys anyway, so... I'll leave it at this."
"How rational," Kaliyo answered, tone full of snark, "Now get a move on, I'm freezing my ass off out here."
It was Aden's turn to roll his eyes, but he began moving again, glancing back toward the direction they'd come from for a moment, before looking ahead. There was work to do. And he most certainly did not leave it at that- his emotions would grow deeper- Vector knew that already.
---
Back in the room, Aden hadn't gone quite as purple as he had in the memory, but he was still blushing just a little.
"See? Good memory."
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As the memory faded, Vector put the card down. "You felt this way about us for a very long time, didn't you?"
Vector knew that Aden had loved him for a while, but somehow Vector never pondered on the exact moment when feelings began to stir within the Chiss. All that time, Aden had gone along thinking that Vector would never return his feelings. How his heart must have ached.
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He would have been fine, being just friends. His heart would have continued to ache, but seeing Vector happy meant more to him than his own happiness. He couldn't say that about anyone else. He wouldn't ever feel this way about anyone else. He wouldn't ever change for anyone else, for better or for worse.
These feelings he'd carried with him were for Vector and Vector alone.
"I love you more for every day that passes."
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He wrapped his arms around the Chiss and held him close. "We believe we started to return your feelings after you turned on Lord Jadus. We even found ourselves jealous when you got married."
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Then he'd looked at Vector, seen the look on his face. And then he'd realized there was no place for kindness in what Jadus wanted to create. It wouldn't be a place for Vector, or for anyone who wasn't willing to bow, it wouldn't be a place where anyone could grow.
And despite his fear, he had turned against him.
Would he have done the same if Kaliyo was with him? He wasn't sure.
"I'm glad you were there. Though I wish you'd have spoken up about your feelings earlier."
They were together now though. A dream come true.
He couldn't help but smile at the admission of jealousy, wrapping his arms around Vector in return and burying his face against his chest, "So you were jealous. That's cute."
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Between the brainwashing and other mental trauma Aden had been going through, Vector hadn't been sure how he could comfort the man. But, perhaps if he'd spoken up about his feelings, he could have instead helped Aden through it and provided emotional support. Perhaps having a lover would have helped.
Vector regretted that he never spoke up, and convinced himself that Aden didn't love him.
"Yes. We know why you did it, and it was for the sake of the mission, but we wanted it to be us."
Stuffed Animal
"Do you recognize the music?" he asks, though his eyes keep flashing to the stuffed animal. So loved. So very deeply loved. And part of him wondered whether, if he had the materials, he could recreate it. He's going to have to go over and inspect it at some point.
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"Some melody of a song my sister used to sing."
He couldn't remember the words, but he could remember the melody. It had been a long time since he'd heard it, and there was much he didn't want to remember, but he did remember some things. Like that melody, and a few of the times his sister had sung to him.
He wondered what that song had been about, exactly.
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"And this? Yours or hers?"
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Most of his stuff had been hand-me-downs, really. Not that his family couldn't provide, it was just that Aden had been a rather active child, and things didn't tend to last. So he'd been dressed in the clothes of his sisters, been given hand-me-down toys, though he'd never really complained- and saw nothing wrong with it now either.
"Go ahead and touch it if you want."
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