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[ The video turns on to reveal your local Archivist, deep scowl on his perpetually tired face, an already very used looking pencil behind his ear and a cigarette between his fingers. Yes, that particular habit is getting worse, but judging by the open sky above him he's at least not taking it inside.

But it's the scowl that mainly addresses the network. ]

Very well. Might as well inform you all that the hospital staff has been reduced to one. I am no trained professional, have no noteworthy abilities that qualify me for the task, but I... I will do what I can should the need arise. I won't always be at the hospital, so you will have to contact me should you need anything- And I ask of everyone to abstain from needlessly reckless endeavors more likely to getting yourself hurt than resulting in any progress. I... I just-

[ He pauses, takes one deep breath and closes his eyes. ]

... I can't split myself in two.

I'm sorry.

[[ ooc: Adult Content Warning for the comments below. ]]

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Not at all.

[He had no problems with his childhood, well aware it was probably an unusual one from what might be expected, but it's how he'd been brought up.]

We're found at a young age and brought to the Temple to begin our training, if we're found to be Force sensitive. That's not to say I was lonely. There were many younglings like me, and we lived together and would train together, honing our bodies and minds. We learned the Jedi code, how to meditate and be in control of ourselves, of our emotions. We were taught how to wield training sabers in the basic forms. We didn't own much except our uniforms, and going out in the city was a rare occasion and never without the company of a Master, at least early on.

Constructing a lightsaber is a passage of its own, but once we're deemed ready, we move on from initiates to padawan learners, where we're taken under the wing of a full Jedi as an apprentice. It was exciting at first. Becoming a padawan is our chance to really see the worlds beyond, and to apply our training. The war had picked up around then, meaning that we'd probably have our first taste of actual combat. We'd see how our training would hold up.

[He laughs a little.]

Not that the training nor the lessons really stopped. Even when we were aboard our ship, my master would drill me hard. It was tiring, but I really wanted to do my best.

I... see.

[ He feels a little reminded of certain monks. A little. ]

And... How young were you when you decided to go to the Temple?

[ Given how much it sounds to be a decision for life - And not all children truly know what they want to make of their lives when young. ]

...and have you ever regretted that decision?

Pretty young. I'm pretty sure the decision was mainly on part of my parents than myself at the time. I can't really say since...I don't remember them.

...I don't think I regret it. But maybe that's because I don't know what could have been. With the Empire though? I don't know if my chances would have been better or worse.

To be fair, the fewest of us know what they want when they are young. And most of us end up somewhere less than ideal even if the choice is entirely up to us. So... I don't think it's the worst path you could have ended up on.

[ Jon has no memories of his parents simply because they died. For either of them not remembering them simply means that they don't know who they should even be missing. And Cal obviously still was raised into a decent young man. ]

I can imagine these Masters at your Temple... They must have had their hands full if they were dealing with several young children possessing your Force abilities. I know I was a menace even without any such magic.

It's not like we can go back now. Some of us just need a push to keep moving forward.

[He does agree with Jon. Despite what's happened, he's what he is now, and although what he is puts him in danger, it's exactly the same that's kept him alive.]

Heh... All the more reason why they taught us discipline as early on as possible, I guess. I wouldn't envy their position though. I think we got worse as we got older.

[A slight grin.]

Getting that tendency to think that knowing a lot is knowing everything, and finding out the hard way how wrong we are. But by then we're passed off to individual masters. Not that we weren't still a handful.

[ Jon gives a little laugh at that. ]

That's literally just children growing up.

You start with asking too many questions, climbing onto things you aren't supposed to climb on and wandering off into places that could easily get you killed and gradually slip into the phase of wanting to prove your independence through even more reckless and rebellious behavior.

You Jedi may merely have done this in a more... Disciplined manner. Less smoking, less punk rock and fewer attempts to get your hands on cheap alcohol.

[Even Cal laughs at that.]

And more wanting to prove yourself against swarms of droid armies alongside everyone else. It's easy to get caught up more in the aspect of actively protecting when you're a freshly promoted padawan. Maybe that's part of why my master put me through so many training exercises. Put all that eager energy into honing my skills before I could get myself killed.

It seemed to have worked.

Your master trained you well - And yet I suppose you were frustrated by his methods ever so often.

[ Few students appreciate their teachers during their lessons. ]

I guess it did.

[He smiles wanly.]

At times, yeah. He pushed hard, but he seemed to always know I could do better. I don't know how many times I've had to run walls or leap across platforms, or deflect things.

[ Cal gets a little chuckle in response. ]

See. And I didn't even participate in physical education classes.

I'm sure such classes would be a little tamer at least.

That... Depends.

But that's the past.

[He sobers at that. The past has an awful habit of clinging to you.]

...yeah, it is.

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