Altair Kallig (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
kallig) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
revivalproject2020-05-07 03:05 am
kallig) wrote in revivalproject2020-05-07 03:05 am
Open Log [7]
WHO: Altair Kallig & Open
WHERE: Somewhere on the outskirts of the city
WHAT: A certain conversation made the Sith Lord angry and Sith Lord's gonna Sith Lord.
WHEN: Backdated to sometime before sunrise at the beginning of May.
WARNINGS: Mentions of xenophobia, slavery. Also, a very pissed off Sith Lord. Will update if more pops up.
Maybe it was stupid to let those words affect him as much as they did. Maybe it was stupid that his anger hadn't dissipated at all since then, burning in him the same way it had when he'd been younger. Maybe he should just quietly deal with it, bury his rage deep to draw on later, but... To him, to deny using someone's name was the same as denying that they were a person.
And though logically, he understood that this situation was different, to have someone refuse to call him by name because they thought he didn't deserve it, even without knowing the sort of person he was, having that done, said, it... Made every instance of that exact treatment play in the back of his mind. All the people calling him a slave, who saw him as an item to be bought and sold, or who saw a filthy alien who didn't know his place, instead of a thinking, feeling person.
He knew it wasn't about that. He knew it logically, but feelings weren't exactly logical.
No matter his pacing, no matter what he did or where he went, his anger wouldn't settle.
So eventually he'd trekked out to the edge of Temba, sometime before the sun came up, the sky still relatively dark. If a conversation with Hux, pacing, and trying to deny that he was angry wouldn't settle his rage, then perhaps some destruction would.
He found some buildings that looked about ready to come down already, and with an angry swipe of a hand, used the Force, shattering every window that had still been intact, the glass raining down on the ground below- another swipe was enough to collapse half of one building, the sound of creaking and twisting metal shrieking, rubble and dust hitting the street. Another tug had the building coming down entirely.
The Sith paced with every use of the Force, another aggressive tug bringing another building partially down, Force lightning creeping up the crumbling walls, shattering more glass.
Yes, this was a good way to work some energy out. Even if perhaps there would be questions and calls to his comm, and maybe a few people coming his way to see what was going on.
This was still preferable to letting his anger linger any longer.
(OOC: Feel free to blow up his communicator with messages of "Wtf Altair???" or trek out to him, he'll be there a while!)
WHERE: Somewhere on the outskirts of the city
WHAT: A certain conversation made the Sith Lord angry and Sith Lord's gonna Sith Lord.
WHEN: Backdated to sometime before sunrise at the beginning of May.
WARNINGS: Mentions of xenophobia, slavery. Also, a very pissed off Sith Lord. Will update if more pops up.
Maybe it was stupid to let those words affect him as much as they did. Maybe it was stupid that his anger hadn't dissipated at all since then, burning in him the same way it had when he'd been younger. Maybe he should just quietly deal with it, bury his rage deep to draw on later, but... To him, to deny using someone's name was the same as denying that they were a person.
And though logically, he understood that this situation was different, to have someone refuse to call him by name because they thought he didn't deserve it, even without knowing the sort of person he was, having that done, said, it... Made every instance of that exact treatment play in the back of his mind. All the people calling him a slave, who saw him as an item to be bought and sold, or who saw a filthy alien who didn't know his place, instead of a thinking, feeling person.
He knew it wasn't about that. He knew it logically, but feelings weren't exactly logical.
No matter his pacing, no matter what he did or where he went, his anger wouldn't settle.
So eventually he'd trekked out to the edge of Temba, sometime before the sun came up, the sky still relatively dark. If a conversation with Hux, pacing, and trying to deny that he was angry wouldn't settle his rage, then perhaps some destruction would.
He found some buildings that looked about ready to come down already, and with an angry swipe of a hand, used the Force, shattering every window that had still been intact, the glass raining down on the ground below- another swipe was enough to collapse half of one building, the sound of creaking and twisting metal shrieking, rubble and dust hitting the street. Another tug had the building coming down entirely.
The Sith paced with every use of the Force, another aggressive tug bringing another building partially down, Force lightning creeping up the crumbling walls, shattering more glass.
Yes, this was a good way to work some energy out. Even if perhaps there would be questions and calls to his comm, and maybe a few people coming his way to see what was going on.
This was still preferable to letting his anger linger any longer.
(OOC: Feel free to blow up his communicator with messages of "Wtf Altair???" or trek out to him, he'll be there a while!)
no subject
He sighed heavily, closing his eyes, "I'm the last person who will deny that the Sith as they are, as I know them, are bad... Murderous lunatics, most of them... But the Empire I know... There's more than Sith there, Cal. There are kind people, too. Specks of light in between the darkness, and the light flourishing even in the Empire... I saw that, and I considered it worth protecting..."
Cal didn't know the Empire Altair knew. But Altair knew that he knew stories about the Sith, and what the Sith were like. And he wouldn't deny that many were the stuff of nightmares, so focused on war, on crushing the galaxy beneath their heel.
That wasn't what he had seen though. Not all of it.
"I wanted to be a guiding hand, to lead the Empire to a better tomorrow. I believed that a rational Empire is a peaceful one. But this man judged me the same as every average Sith, made up his mind about me based on words, not actions..."
He shook his head. He was saying entirely too much.
"After a display like this though, I'm sure he'll feel justified in his belief that I don't have a shred of empathy. And that I don't deserve to be called by name. I'm not sure which one of those bothered me the most. The lack of empathy thing or the fact that his refusal to use my name made every single cry of slave or filthy alien I've heard thrown my way replay in the back of my mind."
A pause then, "I know logically that that isn't what it's about, by the way. The name thing, at least."
no subject
Cal said nothing to prompt Altair further, only nodding faintly, acknowledgment that he knew of whom the Sith was talking about. He listened, giving the other time to just speak.
"...Altair, you've proven to me that Sith don't have to act like they're renowned for. It may not speak for all the Sith, but it speaks for you. I'm hardly claiming to be an expert, but I know tapping into the dark side is a choice, and everything you do can either reflect that or not. But just because you got upset doesn't make you one any more or any less a person."
He stepped closer, willing to give the Chiss his space if he wanted, but seeking out the end of the shattered wall to lean against.
"I'm sorry that whatever conversation you had with Tony went the way it did. But if he doesn't think to give you a chance or respect you as a person just because he's suddenly been given information about Sith, then that's his mistake. Not yours."
no subject
He knew. He did. If someone wanted to judge him the same as his people, if someone didn't think he deserved to be called by name just because of what they'd been told about the Sith, then that wasn't on him. But it had just hit on sore spots that he apparently still had, even so long after escaping slavery.
Altair should probably work on that, or at least, bury those feelings even deeper. Losing his temper wasn't a good look.
"Thank you for listening, Cal. I didn't mean to place this burden on you, just as I didn't mean to wake you, but... I'm grateful. Truly."
no subject
It might have been troubling to experience a Sith letting loose with his temper, but if anything, keeping it in seemed more dangerous to the padawan than not. Altair had purposely come out to somewhere empty to vent his frustrations. That was a lot better than directly taking out his anger on the person responsible, or anyone else that might just happen to be in the wrong place. That already spoke much of the Sith's control of himself, as well as his remorse for even lashing out as he had.
no subject
He smiled, just a little.
His and Ashara's paths had parted for a time, but. They'd joined again. And he missed her, here. He missed others too, but Ashara had always been the one he could talk to.
"I think you'd like her. She's... Not quite a Jedi any more, I think. But she's finding her own way. I respect that."
He shook his head, "And that's me being nostalgic. Stars I'm getting old."
That was a joke. A change of subject would do them some good though.
no subject
Cal wondered at a time when the Sith and Jedi were so commonplace in the Republic, in the galaxy as they knew it. He'd heard enough from Altair to know that that period was hardly without its conflict, but how different would it must have been compared to the galaxy he knew now.
"Heh. If being nostalgic makes you old then I must be ancient," Cal laughed.