Altair Kallig (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
kallig) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
revivalproject2020-05-07 03:05 am
kallig) wrote in revivalproject2020-05-07 03:05 am
Open Log [7]
WHO: Altair Kallig & Open
WHERE: Somewhere on the outskirts of the city
WHAT: A certain conversation made the Sith Lord angry and Sith Lord's gonna Sith Lord.
WHEN: Backdated to sometime before sunrise at the beginning of May.
WARNINGS: Mentions of xenophobia, slavery. Also, a very pissed off Sith Lord. Will update if more pops up.
Maybe it was stupid to let those words affect him as much as they did. Maybe it was stupid that his anger hadn't dissipated at all since then, burning in him the same way it had when he'd been younger. Maybe he should just quietly deal with it, bury his rage deep to draw on later, but... To him, to deny using someone's name was the same as denying that they were a person.
And though logically, he understood that this situation was different, to have someone refuse to call him by name because they thought he didn't deserve it, even without knowing the sort of person he was, having that done, said, it... Made every instance of that exact treatment play in the back of his mind. All the people calling him a slave, who saw him as an item to be bought and sold, or who saw a filthy alien who didn't know his place, instead of a thinking, feeling person.
He knew it wasn't about that. He knew it logically, but feelings weren't exactly logical.
No matter his pacing, no matter what he did or where he went, his anger wouldn't settle.
So eventually he'd trekked out to the edge of Temba, sometime before the sun came up, the sky still relatively dark. If a conversation with Hux, pacing, and trying to deny that he was angry wouldn't settle his rage, then perhaps some destruction would.
He found some buildings that looked about ready to come down already, and with an angry swipe of a hand, used the Force, shattering every window that had still been intact, the glass raining down on the ground below- another swipe was enough to collapse half of one building, the sound of creaking and twisting metal shrieking, rubble and dust hitting the street. Another tug had the building coming down entirely.
The Sith paced with every use of the Force, another aggressive tug bringing another building partially down, Force lightning creeping up the crumbling walls, shattering more glass.
Yes, this was a good way to work some energy out. Even if perhaps there would be questions and calls to his comm, and maybe a few people coming his way to see what was going on.
This was still preferable to letting his anger linger any longer.
(OOC: Feel free to blow up his communicator with messages of "Wtf Altair???" or trek out to him, he'll be there a while!)
WHERE: Somewhere on the outskirts of the city
WHAT: A certain conversation made the Sith Lord angry and Sith Lord's gonna Sith Lord.
WHEN: Backdated to sometime before sunrise at the beginning of May.
WARNINGS: Mentions of xenophobia, slavery. Also, a very pissed off Sith Lord. Will update if more pops up.
Maybe it was stupid to let those words affect him as much as they did. Maybe it was stupid that his anger hadn't dissipated at all since then, burning in him the same way it had when he'd been younger. Maybe he should just quietly deal with it, bury his rage deep to draw on later, but... To him, to deny using someone's name was the same as denying that they were a person.
And though logically, he understood that this situation was different, to have someone refuse to call him by name because they thought he didn't deserve it, even without knowing the sort of person he was, having that done, said, it... Made every instance of that exact treatment play in the back of his mind. All the people calling him a slave, who saw him as an item to be bought and sold, or who saw a filthy alien who didn't know his place, instead of a thinking, feeling person.
He knew it wasn't about that. He knew it logically, but feelings weren't exactly logical.
No matter his pacing, no matter what he did or where he went, his anger wouldn't settle.
So eventually he'd trekked out to the edge of Temba, sometime before the sun came up, the sky still relatively dark. If a conversation with Hux, pacing, and trying to deny that he was angry wouldn't settle his rage, then perhaps some destruction would.
He found some buildings that looked about ready to come down already, and with an angry swipe of a hand, used the Force, shattering every window that had still been intact, the glass raining down on the ground below- another swipe was enough to collapse half of one building, the sound of creaking and twisting metal shrieking, rubble and dust hitting the street. Another tug had the building coming down entirely.
The Sith paced with every use of the Force, another aggressive tug bringing another building partially down, Force lightning creeping up the crumbling walls, shattering more glass.
Yes, this was a good way to work some energy out. Even if perhaps there would be questions and calls to his comm, and maybe a few people coming his way to see what was going on.
This was still preferable to letting his anger linger any longer.
(OOC: Feel free to blow up his communicator with messages of "Wtf Altair???" or trek out to him, he'll be there a while!)
no subject
"Normally people find a punching bag, not tear down a building. What happened?"
no subject
"I guess I'm being childish... I shouldn't be this angry... I shouldn't have let it linger so long... But..."
It's not much, by any stretch of the imagination. He supposed it just managed to hit places that that still lacked defense. Bad memories that felt like they happened yesterday, even if the truth was they happened long ago.
"Well, feelings aren't logical."
no subject
"They're not." Her lingering unease is proof enough of that. "But maybe you should talk to someone about it instead of tearing down the city."
Her tone is light - it doesn't have to be her, but it's clear he needs a healthier outlet.
no subject
He'd been hurt. Altair hadn't been aware that there were parts of himself that were still fragile as glass and that his peace of mind could be so easily shattered. Lashing out had just been the easiest way to work those feelings out.
"I feel better now, though. It's okay if you don't believe me, but it's actually pretty rare for me to lash out like this."
He couldn't remember the last time he lashed out so violently- at least, not for his own sake. He'd been plenty violent toward those who tried to hurt his people, but was usually less concerned for himself.