of cloudless climes and starry nights

[theladyofwinterfell]

WHO: Sansa Stark
WHERE: Her home in the residential section of Blue 21 on the map (if you've met her, feel free to assume you know where she lives), at the Agriculture Center, anywhere between the two points.
WHAT: This is Sansa's last post because she HAS THIS CHILD SHE HAS BEEN PREGNANT WITH FOR 1000 YEARS. So she is very large, trying to still be in a good mood, and really wants to not be pregnant anymore.
WHEN: 28 April - 4 May
WARNINGS: TBD



Sansa spends most of her time walking now. She walks from home to the city center, from the city center to home, and to each and every place in between. She tries not to go anywhere dangerous or with rough terrain; she is nowhere near as nimble as she once was and she fears falling and hurting herself or the child. Still, there's plenty of places she can go without pushing into anything remotely dangerous and that's what she does.

Her back only eases when she moves. It's contrary to what she's always believed as women typically took to their beds before birthing but perhaps women in Westeros are not correct about birthing. She's willing to believe that considering the number of women who die in childbirth - including her own mother by law. She doesn't worry so much about dying, though, not with Altair, and Wanda has said she will help with the birth. She's still afraid of pain but she's borne pain before and can do it once again.

In the agricultural center, she tries to tend plants as best she can without actually bending down or picking up anything heavy. It's a difficult task, actually, and Sansa is grateful for her height and ends up only tending those that hang in baskets in the air or those potted and settled on tables in front of her. It's good to have work to focus on, at any rate, and she's grown tired of sewing for this very moment.

By the time she trundles home in the evening, she settles in her chair with feet propped and works on sewing. Sometimes it's mending and sometimes it's some of the last baby things she can make before the child comes and she won't have the time to sew or do much of anything but be a mother. She believes whole-heartedly that Tyrion will help her with their son much more than most fathers in Westeros do and her friends seem to be gleeful at the prospect of a child but all the same, she will shoulder much of the burden alone.

Comments

[theladyofwinterfell]

"Oh...oh no. I'm so sorry." Grief is a genuine, tangible thing for Sansa every waking moment of her life. She's been touched by it in all facets in her life and she hates that anyone else has had to suffer loss.

"Losing people is always difficult, no matter how many times you do it. I'm very sorry."

[doubled_speed]

“Don’t do that. It’s just… I like to not think about it,” Tommy admits, fingers flashing through his hair. “It’s easier to just move on, right?”

If you keep running, your emotions can’t catch up. Isn’t that how it works?

[theladyofwinterfell]

"It is easier to move on than to dwell. My apologies for misstepping," Sansa says. "There's...there's never anything good someone else can say anyway. They try and they mean well but in my experience, it doesn't work. What about this place, though? Do you feel safe here?"

[doubled_speed]

“You didn’t misstep. Can’t misstep when you don’t know,” Tommy insists. But with anyone else, he’d probably hold it against them. Yeah, he’s not consistent like that. Sansa is important to Wanda, so she gets exceptions.

“Safe is always a complex question. But no. Not really.”

[theladyofwinterfell]

"Is it because of Wanda? Or someone else?"

Sansa has been through the Fleet and the Atroma so the Agrii seem kinder in comparison. The Agrii seem not to care about ratings, anyway, and that's a bit more magnaminous - or is it? At least the Atroma were transparent.

[doubled_speed]

"Why would Wanda make me feel unsafe?" Tommy asks, jerking away from her in shock. Wanda was family.

[theladyofwinterfell]

"She shouldn't but I don't presume to know anything about where you come from," Sansa says. "You feel unsafe. Who or what makes you feel that way? Are you worried about someone hurting Wanda? That's what I meant more than Wanda making you feel unsafe herself."

[doubled_speed]

It can be a mess, his feelings about Wanda. Back home, he's not sure anyone could hurt his mother without her allowing it, or catching her completely off guard. Here? He doesn't know. And doesn't intend to ask.

"This place, it... I have powers, right? It takes them away."

And he doesn't appreciate that. It makes him... fragile in a way he's not used to.

[theladyofwinterfell]

"And when you've always had a part of yourself, to have it stripped leaves you terrified. I have no powers such as yours and I will never presume to know what that is like. I have, however, been stripped of my name and my dignity. It's a frightening place to be, powerless, and I do understand that."

Sansa smiles a bit, trying to reassure him. "Wanda and I have been helping one another for a while now. I won't let anything happen to her either, I won't, but I don't know how to ease your worry."

[doubled_speed]

See, Sansa gets it so much better than Jon did when it came up. Tommy shuddered at the thought of the fight that had come from that. Without his powers he was weak. And his powers was what people wanted him for back home.

"There's not a good way to ease my worry," Tommy sighed, shaking his head. "I'm scared for the people I love. Always."

[theladyofwinterfell]

"As am I. It's no small thing. It's always there, it's just something I try to push down and ignore with work or focus on other things. I empathize even if I know no way to ease it. Still, if there's something that I can do, I will do it. Wanda is my family. That makes you my family too."

Family is important to her, perhaps more important than anything else. Her family here is found and not bound by blood but it is no less family.

[doubled_speed]

Does it? Tommy laughs.

"I was thinking, in my head, that I could call you Aunt Sansa. But with our ages, that's almost as weird as the very idea of calling her Mom."

Which he's never going to do again. Which is a lie. Sometimes he slips up.

"This place... how can you handle being here when you know you could be taken away from the people you love at any moment?"

[theladyofwinterfell]

"Well, we can pretend I'm your Aunt Sansa even if you just call me Sansa," she says, laughing softly. "I can be all right with that."

The next part of what Tommy says sobers her a bit. "You have to live each day in the present, I think. I've lost so much and so many people before I even came here and here...there's the glimmer of hope that they'll come back. I cling to who I love and tell them I love them every day. That's how I cope."

[doubled_speed]

Well, that isn't so bad, is it? He likes the idea that he can have more family.

But living in the present is interesting to him.

"I don't know about hoping. It tends to get you burned."

[theladyofwinterfell]

"It does," Sansa agrees. "But if I don't continue to hope, I've no reason to go on. I've lived a life like that and it's a miserable one. So even if it's futile, I'll go on hoping and perhaps I'll hope enough for things that they come true."

She smiles a bit. "It's all right to hope a little."

[doubled_speed]

Hope hard enough things come true.

"Sounds like my brother's powers. He hopes hard enough, wishes for it, and it happens."

Or it did before here.

[theladyofwinterfell]

"A powerful thing to have but deadly if done incorrectly. That would be balancing on the edge of a knife, I'd say."

Sansa's hopes and dreams are just that - Sansa's. If she had power to bring them to life, though, they'd affect far more than just her and her own family. That would be a burden to carry.

[doubled_speed]

"My balance is insanely good," Tommy teases, smiling to himself. Like it maters. But it doesn't. He knows it doesn't. He's not used to hope, so he doesn't bother holding on to it now. All he wants is to protect those he loves.

[theladyofwinterfell]

"I would expect nothing less of you, Tommy. You can protect yourself and your family. I have faith in it. Perhaps it is only me but I have faith."

Faith can be a powerful thing sometimes, at least in Sansa's experience.

[doubled_speed]

"Perhaps it is only you," Tommy sighs. Because he's not very much faith in himself most of the time. He tries, but... Well, success and him don't get along.

"Well, I guess I can try. But with my relatives, I'm sorta the weak one."