revivalproject | (no subject)

Entry tags:

(no subject)

WHO: Altair Kallig & You!
WHERE: Risa!
WHAT: Vacation!
WHEN: During the Risa Event
WARNINGS: None! Will update if this changes.

[A - Markets]

He had to visit eventually- searching for supplies that would be useful once they returned to Agra 10, but also searching for some items not related to survival alone. While wandering, he kept his senses reaching far, feeling the peaceful emotions of all around him while he wandered- while also keeping an eye out for anyone familiar, be it only slightly so, or very much so.

The Sith was determined to at least enjoy part of this vacation while they had it.

[B - Gardens]

Chiss were not made to handle heat- even mixed breeds like himself. Altair didn't know what his family had been before his parents, and his grandparents, but he knew they could not all be fully Chiss- logistically, it was impossible. Aloysius had been a pureblood, Altair was sure, given how the Empire had been even more anti-alien back in those days- but then, it had been nearly two-thousand years since Aloysius had died so if there was pure Sith blood in his veins, it was so diluted it might as well not be there.

Still, the Chiss in him was indeed not good with heat- and as such, he found himself down in the glowing gardens, where it was cooler.

He could be found wandering about with a sketchbook and pen- drawing the different plants he saw. Having grown quite fond of the medium of paper and pen.

Every now and then, he'd also find a bug or two, and stop to fawn over it- even picking some up to inspect the creatures more closely. One could think him insane, given that he would speak to any bug he wasn't familiar with in rather the way one would speak to something utterly adorable.

"Why hello there, aren't you a beauty..." and "Oh, look at you... Don't think I've seen one like you before... Care to hold still while I draw you?"

Even on Agra 10, he'd been a bug lover. Here, with the relative safety, he felt okay to let that show just a bit.

[C - Meditation]

Risa, being what it was, was perfect for it.

Anywhere it was nice to sit down- places with pristine nature, a somewhat less traveled path with benches, down on the beach- he could be found in deep meditation, cross-legged, and breathing.

Speaking, too, when he thought himself alone enough- reciting the Sith Code as he always did, when he felt the need to meditate, clear his head, calm himself.

"Peace is a lie, there is only passion...
Through passion, I gain strength...
Through strength, power-
Through power, victory-
Through victory, my chains are broken-
The Force shall free me..."

[D - Wildcard]

(Come up with a scenario of your own! Altair can be found here and there on Risa, just exploring, shopping, relaxing...)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

He listened to Jon's explanation, wondering if it somehow was a new power for him. Different world than his, after all- Altair had been born the way he was. Maybe that wasn't the case for people in the world Jon was from. Questions for another time, at any rate, despite the fact that Altair was a naturally curious fellow.

He knew to curb his own curiosity until the time was right.

"I could tell it was unintentional. Another Sith may have seen it as an attack, but..."

Altair shook his head. He'd been attacked before. That felt different.

"When it's an attack, I can feel it. There are certain emotions that come along with it... A certain rush, I suppose. Your emotions just now weren't like that. If I were to guess, I'd say you were more curious than anything else."

That's how it seemed to him, really.

"And yes. I don't know if we would use that word, exactly, but we can certainly suggest a course of action. To help a friend, I once suggested that someone should forget that they'd seen him... And so long as a mind is weak enough..."

It was difficult to use a mind trick on a strong mind, but the weak-minded were easily swayed.

"It's not something I do entirely too often. But I imagine Jedi use the ability to avoid confrontations. Sith may do it to ensure a good outcome for themselves... Still, it is indeed an ability that we have."

Jon gives a small nod in response to Altair's words "It was merely meant as a regular question, that I can assure you."

And it's true. If Jon means to do harm or tries to forcefully extract information from another person... It's very different. For the most part it's very painful, especially if the victim resists.

He presses his lips into a tight line and glances down at his tea.

"When I first learned of this... That I can do this- I found it very useful. I could get people to tell me what I needed to know, and all I had to do was ask. There were even cases when people deliberately requested I ask to make it easier for them to tell me what happened. It's... Been nice." And in a way it still is. Just the more he learned about his powers, the more of the underlying dreadfulness came to light, the less comfortable he grew to use them on innocent people.

Even though at the same time that very thought feels very much right. He wants to pull innocent people into all those horrors he could impose on them. And he loathes himself for these desires.

"And I think I can make people do more than just... Tell me things. It's more difficult. And I'm still trying to get a grasp of my... Well. Compulsion, I suppose. I hear it being called that. I'm trying to avoid outright questions as much as possible."

"It's new, then. This power of yours."

Altair's own use of the Force had been instinctual once. Still, using it deliberately had been so easy for him, once he got the proper training. But even then, there had been parts of his own power he'd been unaware of. Things still seemed more complicated for Jon though and Altair was fairly certain that he wasn't getting the whole picture.

Not that he was going to pry. Jon would tell him, in his own time, should it be something he wished to speak about. If not, Altair would simply have to ask over time, once they became better friends- as he was quite determined to befriend him.

No need to overwhelm him, he figured. He seemed overwhelmed enough already.

"I imagine you'll be able to take your time here, getting familiar with them, should you desire to do so. Given that I know and can resist having answers pulled out of me though, you're free to ask me as many questions as you want. If I don't want to answer, I simply won't."

"Almost two years." Jon clarifies. Though he has never received any actual training. Elias preferred for him to figure it out himself, at best making sure he read the right statements in hopes The Archivist picks up on the hints.

He didn't always. And Elias may either have considered the resulting trouble entertaining or frustrating to watch. Probably both. Probably still does. Whatever Elias' endgame for this is supposed to be, Jon has no idea. But he is certain that Elias kept watching him during those past months as well, imprisoned or not. And he will have been delighted by ever slip Jon made that took him further away from his humanity.

Altair's words bring a small smile to the man's face "Learning some control may be a decent goal, you are right." He then looks up again, lifting a brow.

"So. Altair it is, right?" First names. Not his default, but he can do that. For some people "I suppose in that case you can call me Jon."

Edited 2020-03-29 16:50 (UTC)

"Quite new indeed. I was born with my powers, though I didn't receive proper training until I was in my late teens."

Which admittedly wasn't too long ago at all, given that he was still quite young. Still, within the Sith Order you either adapted or died- and Altair had gotten pretty good at adapting to the insanity his life had become. He was nothing if not a survivor.

"Given Agra 10's lack of just about anything at all, having goals is important. Stagnation there might not be death, exactly. But it is not a pleasant way to exist."

He should know, his tone that of a man speaking from experience. He'd pushed himself so hard during his time there. No goal beyond existing for the sake of his friends. Of course, that part might not ever change. He said nothing of the sort, of course, instead smiling when Jon used his name again.

"That is correct. I should have said this sooner, but it is indeed nice to meet you properly, Jon."

Not across their communicators, but in person. He wasn't sure if he'd gotten a good read on him, exactly, but definitely a better one than before.

"I imagine we'll get along well."

Altair certainly hoped so- especially if Jon did join him in working at the hospital. And he believed he'd already made his point clear that they'd get through this by making friends. Working together.

Hearing Altair speak about Agra 10 gets a slow nod from Jon and he frowns slightly. Hearing that others have been there for months... He isn't sure if he can do that.

"I am admittedly a little worried about going back." He stated, a single finger now tapping lightly against his cup of tea "How does everyone manage to survive in a place as devoid as Temba...?" It's a reluctant question. One he isn't sure he wants to ask. But unless he gets send back he will have to figure that out for himself as well.

Eventually.

"By which I mean, I not so much worry about going back to further research the place. Or help with the hospital, but aside from that, the very basic survival..." He trails off for a moment, then makes an apologetic face. "I don't think I really know how to go about that."

"There is food in relative abundance- the greenhouse is tended to by many, and there are some animals out at the farm. There are also the ships as an additional resource, and you can ask the Agrii for supplies... Of course, it doesn't change the fact that there are no comforts, but..."

They had food, clean drinking water, shelter. All things that were necessary for survival. Anything else, they would have to work on, but it wasn't as though the planet was completely devoid of resources- and with the exception of a few, everyone was determined to help each other out as well. The unity was nice, despite everything.

"There is much to be done. But I can promise you that I, at least, refuse to let anyone die. No matter the cost, I will work hard for the sake of everyone's survival. That includes yours."

Altair didn't want to sense any more death. So he would continue to work hard. He might run himself ragged, but after going home and after being here, it would take longer for him to run himself into the ground. Before his trip home he'd been very nearly broken, but now he felt like he had the energy to work harder than before.

"... I would suggest enjoying every hot shower you can take while we're here though. Because that is one thing you won't be able to do once we go back."

A greenhouse and some animals at a farm. That must be a part of the city he hasn't been to yet. At least there seems to be some regular food around as well. How much good that will do for him... He will have to find out. Though checking out on those animals is something Jon will remind himself to do. Maybe he can find traces of The Slaughter.

The upcoming lack of hot showers... Now that's not something to look forward to. Of course it won't kill him, but next to some decent tea that's one of the few comforts Jon actually enjoys.

But it's Altair declaring that he would do anything for the sake of everyone's survival, including him that causes Jon to stop. They have only just... Met. Haven't they? The Chiss hardly knows him. And there are things about himself he would rather not have to disclose to anyone if possible. Of course, keeping secrets has worked so well in the past for him, but as long as he doesn't hurt anyone... It should be fine?

He puts on a tight smile "I... Thank you, Altair. But please, don't push yourself too hard. Not for me, at least. I don't mind just learning where everything is and what I have to do. I think I already said that I'd rather not be useless. Or a burden..."

"It's hardly pushing myself. Call it... Concern, I suppose. We need to work together if we want to stand a chance. And honestly..."

He trailed off for a moment, staring down at his own cup of tea, very nearly untouched.

"I don't think I could take sensing any death. I'm tired of it, at any rate."

Not as tired as he once had been. He'd recovered a little since watching Vitiate consume an entire planet. But it had been a long war at home, and millions had died. On some level, he couldn't help but blame himself for all those deaths. Or at least for not being able to prevent them all. He said nothing of the sort, of course.

"I also am an Emperor. Perhaps that part of myself is difficult to leave at home. A leader has no value if he cannot work for the sake of the people, after all."

"Please don't do that." Jon says, now frowning "You're not responsible for the rest of us. Not our actions and neither our well-being and health. Concern is well and fine, but you also need to make sure your own needs are not being neglected."

Of course he is one to talk. Jon has a remarkable history of getting scolded for not taking care of himself, but that doesn't matter right there and then.

Though something else has caught his attention as well.

"What do you mean by... Sensing death?"

"I'm not, no. Not responsible- but I've made friends. And those who are not yet friends are allies. But you needn't worry, Jon. I do take care of myself too. I sleep, and eat, and devote time to meditation and my hobbies."

Not nearly as much as he should. But he'd been a hard worker for some time now. Climbing to the top of the Empire, responding to threats to his people. Becoming Alliance Commander, then Emperor. He wasn't entirely sure he knew how to be anything else.

He would try, but concern for others was a constant companion.

Best to focus on something else- like Jon's question, "The Force connects and runs through every living thing. People like myself can sense this energy. For example, I could close my eyes and wander a crowd and know how to navigate through by feeling the presence of the people around me."

Not too long ago, he had done just that. He'd lived for months, and before that years, near constantly hiding behind a veil. using the Force as his guide rather than his eyesight. It was why his ability to sense others was one of his stronger abilities.

"As such, I can also feel death. If I reach far enough, I'm certain I could find it here, too. Imagine then, somewhere like Agra 10, where we are the only sentient creatures..."

He didn't think he could take feeling one of them die. Especially not the people he'd made friends with.

"It feels cold, when someone dies. At least it does to me."

Jon isn't quite sure he believes that, but for now he refrains from arguing. There is little point in it anyway unless he has something solid to point out. So he will just keep an eye on the Sith. Make sure he doesn't overdo it after all.

For now he focuses on the Force. Cal has already given him an idea of it, but apparently the topic is a lot more complex. At least it sounds like a useful thing to be connected to. Sensing life and death alike and being able to... Well. Do all sorts of things, really.

And yet he can't help but notice the difference between Altair's perception of death and the way Oliver Banks had described it to him. How the man has tried so desperately to get away from its lingering presence and any sign of life possible only to end up having to accept that life and death are not something unique to humans.

He doesn't mention this, however. Instead, he simply nods.

"Well, I don't think anyone has any plans to die. Though I'd think that a small group of people at least would make it more bearable and easier to prevent than sitting in the middle of a big city such as Temba fully populated with beings dying all the time." Unless he misunderstood something entirely.

"I don't think so either. I still worry, though."

Dangers they couldn't even imagine yet. The storm had been one, though they'd gotten through without anyone losing their life. He worried what death meant here. If they were just gone, if death sent them back to their own world, or if they would become one of the ghostly figures that haunted Agra 10 when the storms were at their worst.

"Maybe it is easier. No one's died yet, so I don't know. Maybe it'll feel like a brief chill and nothing else. Or maybe it'll feel eternally hollow- like something's missing."

He felt something like that already- the loss of Ziost wasn't easy on him, even though it was far away in the past now. Of course it would depend on who died, he supposed. He had at least one person he wouldn't mind killing himself. Of course he said nothing of the sort. Jon seemed a decent fellow and likely wouldn't enjoy any mentions of murder and mayhem.

"Worries for another day, regardless, I suppose. I won't sit around in the hospital shaking and afraid. I think I've made that pretty clear."

Considering how determined he was to ensure everyone's survival. Of course he wouldn't sit idly by.

"With any luck, when we return, we can look forward to spring and the life it brings with it- assuming the planet has a springtime."

Best to focus on the positives.

While ha can't imagine what feeling or sensing the death of another person might feel like, Jon at least guesses it might be similar to how he perceives fear experienced by others. Though maybe without that dreadful underlying satisfaction he has come to notice within himself.

And then, of course, there if... Life. The entire opposite of death and not something any of the Fears is comparable to. But he has been told that there plain are no opposite forces to the Dread Powers, so he won't waste any energy on hoping. Still, he's a little curious.

"If death feels cold, then am I right to assume life to feel warm? And can you feel it in the people around you the entire time?"

There's no compulsion in these questions. Though part of him wonders if it's possible to sense life in others... What he would feel like in such a case. Does he still register as regular living being despite hardly being human any longer? Despite having been physically dead for six months and only kept unburied because his brain was anything but dead but exploding with activity? Elias referred to it as his Becoming, and yet Jon doesn't even know what exactly it is he is becoming. Aside from the part where he isn't sure anymore he still wants that.

"It depends," Altair said, looking thoughtful, as though he hadn't quite thought of what life itself felt like. Life just was he supposed. It was present, constant, busy. Though everyone didn't feel the same, the presence of life could be comforting or discomforting, all depending on the life in question, "It's always there, I always sense it... But... Like how no two people are entirely the same, everyone feels different too."

He thought about how to best explain it, though honestly, each Force-sensitive might have a different view of things too, a different way they felt about it all.

"A Sith like myself can be felt as cold, like we suck the very warmth out of a room. Sith draw on the dark side of the Force- on anger, fear, hatred. Jedi normally feel bright, assuming they're not self-righteous cretins. My species feels rather unique in the Force. I can tell that they're alive and I can tell that they're a Chiss based on how they feel, but little else..."

It really was complicated.

"Earlier I could sense you before I saw you. You felt a little like darkness moving through the light, but you don't feel like that right now, so it might just be the emotions you were feeling at the time. And death being cold might... Just be because suddenly there's an absence of just that, I suppose."

Edited 2020-03-31 21:37 (UTC)

"Oh, good Lord." Jon winces a little at being told what he felt like earlier "I- I'm sorry. I suppose I was brooding a little excessively again. My assistants keep telling me I need to stop being gloomy the entire time. Please... Let me know if I turn too dark for comfort, Altair."

Though there is a bit of relief in hearing that apparently that's not a permanent state. And that he isn't merely some sort of absence in this Force. So he takes as a piece of consolation.

Aside from that, what Altair tells him really is fascinating.

"And I will admit that I find it hard to imagine how sensing all that much be. The more I learn about this Force, the more intrigued I am to try and understand it. Even though it hardly falls under any scientific field known on my own world."

Life, death, emotions... He can sense and see fear, even finds himself drawn to it in some way. Though that may be more instinct. Hunger. These Jedi and Sith seem to have a more detached way to access a much wider spectrum while being able to observe and study their ability so much more thoroughly and efficiently and... Without necessarily harming anyone. Jon envies that.

"It's quite alright. I am Sith and have worked among Sith- a little gloominess is easy to handle compared to working next to someone who's been steeping in the dark side of the Force for years. Yours was a mere flicker of shadow, my own presence is probably like being plunged into eternal night."

A joke. He had, after all, worked hard to not rely on the things that fueled his kind.

"Though you may have to ask Cal about that. I can't really sense how I myself feel."

Everyone did feel different, of course, even Sith who'd spent a bit too much time seething and pacing and getting familiar with insanity and rage. The way Jon had felt earlier was only as noticeable as it was due to the happy or peaceful emotions around him.

"Every person sensitive to the Force could spend eternity studying it, and still not know all its secrets. It's an interesting point of study in general. Everyone has their approach to it, of course, and sometimes the Force might even grant an ability to a specific person that is rare or unheard of. You never really know what you're going to get until you've got it."

He was living proof of that, so he was speaking from experience.

Being plunged into eternal night... Oh, The Dark would probably love the Sith, wouldn't it. It's a thought that's equally amusing as it is perturbing, what with The Dark, or The Forever Blind being quite literal the opposite and very openly enemies of The Eye. Even going as far as using a closed eye as a symbol.

And yet Altair is almost someone Jon might consider- A friend?

He nods slowly at Altair's words, taking the chance to drink some of his tea. Once he set his cup back down, he lets out a soft exhale.

"It sounds nice. Having that. Being able to just feel everything around you. It's certainly a useful ability. Even though I still can't exactly see you fitting in with a dark spectrum."

"Well, it was mostly a joke, at any rate. The Force is a mystery, and that mystery led me to learn how to bind spirits to me to draw on their power. I released them all, long ago, except for one who insisted that he remain with me."

He picked his own cup of tea up, taking a sip, and setting the cup back down.

"They said that I was too dark to be their savior, so all I could do was let them return to their tombs. And they told me I was doomed to their same fate. I don't wish to become a spirit forever doomed to wreak havoc upon all who should trespass upon my final resting place."

Turning more toward the light had been a difficult journey. He'd stumbled and fallen and been angry and hateful. But the person he was now was not the same person who'd once stood face to face with those Sith ghosts. And he was glad for it.

"... Just don't tell Cal about this, please. A Sith gets a reputation for being good, he loses all respect. And I don't want to have to go around being haughty to ensure that I push people away the appropriate amount."

That was another joke. Altair did have a sense of humor, after all, however strange it was.

"Okay." Jon says, his voice thoughtful. There isn't really a lot he can say to that, though one thing does seem a little curious to him.

"So how do ghosts of all things fit into that?"

Life, death, emotions. Those are all real things. Things he can see gripping into one another and working together to certain degrees. But ghosts. Ghosts are... Well. It's easy to say that despite all his experiences with the supernatural, Jon remains a little hard pressed to fully acknowledge ghosts and hauntings at times. The Fears may be entities of dread, but so far any ghostly statement has been possible to be traced back to the involvement of certain powers and their avatars.

"Well, if the Force runs through each living person, and Sith are too stubborn to become one with it again once they die," He said, giving a vague gesture, "Sith don't necessarily wish to accept death, or they're attached to an item, or a place."

Bound to a single place forever, with only themselves for company. It was no wonder to him that these restless souls lost their sanity, much like the living would.

"I met my ancestor that way. He'd been dead nearly two-thousand years, but was woken from his resting place... Can't say I enjoyed nearly being choked to death though."

Aloysius just hadn't been aware who he was at the time. Altair hadn't enjoyed it, but he'd had no choice but to forgive the ancient ghost.

"Though had I been dead and bound to a place for so long, I suppose I'd get up on the wrong side of the grave, too."

Well now. Being bound to something does ring a few bells. Uncomfortable ones. But those weren't exactly ghosts either. Souls, maybe. The essence of a person or... Whatever, really. They were bound and left to suffer only to be... Used. Every once in a while. It's not a thought Jon likes to dwell on much as well.

"Becoming one with the Force... So that's what happens to people in your world when they die."

Ah, yes. There are some similar beliefs on Earth, at least. But that's religion, isn't it? Of course he has to inquire about the purely scientific angle.

"And there actually exists proof for that?"

"It is. And yes. Not everyone might agree with me on that admittedly, but when you've seen what I've seen, experienced what I've experienced... You don't doubt after something like that."

Explaining how it felt to be a Force-user was a bit difficult, really. And Altair couldn't blame people who weren't connected to it for doubting that they would return to it once they died. Still, it was present and true, and he intended to become one with it some day himself, when he died. Though hopefully that was some ways into the future.

"It's not like every person in my world is Force-sensitive, after all. It flows through every living thing, but not every living thing can use it the way someone like me can, experience it in the way I and others like me do- it's easy to doubt when you can't feel something, I'd imagine."

He didn't know, as the Force had been a constant companion, even when he was young and really wished it wasn't there. But he could imagine doubt came easy to those who weren't constantly tuned into it all.

"It's all rather complicated, I suppose. But it is real."

This all sounds so awfully familiar that Jon can't quite help but drop his head and let out a short, soft cackle. It's a weak noise at best, but it does carry a certain edge to it. one of bitter bemusement.

"Oh. It's certainly easier not to know." Jon half mutters, not quite looking back up at Altair but rather casting his eyes elsewhere in the little shop, keeping a grim little smile on his face "So easy to dismiss and doubt and verbally tear down that which you can't see until the day it breaks through a wall of your office and before you know it you are face to face with a living hive and dozens and dozens of worms burrow into your flesh."

He falls silent after that, trying not to dwell too hard on the reminder and yet still well aware of the fact that his burned hand is gripping his other lower arm again, clutching over one of the larger patches of circular scars left on it.

Then he exhales, takes a deep breath, and raises his head again with a centering sigh. Though his expression remains a bit of a tired frown paired with the failed attempt at a smile.

"Believe me when I tell you that I know very well what it's like to doubt and not know and what it's like to have the safety of that oblivion shattered by a truth I would have been happier never learning. And now that's my life and I doubt I will ever be able to go back."

Altair listened to him speak, letting him say what he needed to say. It was easy enough to come to the conclusion that he'd been through a lot. More than what was said, and probably more than what Altair could understand, given the differences between his world and Jon's.

He could empathize with him though. He could see his tiredness, and know what it was like to feel worn out too, even if the things they'd gone through weren't the same.

"Sounds as though you've been through a lot," He said, without any pity, though with understanding.

"... Maybe you won't be able to, no. I know I've experienced things that make it impossible for me to be able to go back to how things were before. Still, so long as we're all here, should you need to talk, you know you can talk to me. Our situations aren't the same, of course, and I'm sure there are things I won't be able to completely understand..."

Just as there were things about being Sith or being an alien that Jon wouldn't understand. Jon hadn't lived through Altair's experiences, just as Altair hadn't lived through Jon's.

"But, like I said before, we won't make it through without making friends."

Jon may not see him as a friend yet. But Altair was well on his way to seeing Jon as one of his friends. So should Jon need to talk or need help, he really only needed to ask and Altair would do his best to assist.