Stranger in a Strange Land

[in_extremis]

WHO: Tony, Steve and Bucky? And everyone else!
WHERE: Some network nonsense, and skulking around the resort
WHAT: Tony's playing catch up, and doesn't have a good lead yet. This is also Tony's TDM thread, relocated to make more sense on Risa, so if you want to properly canon that meeting, here we are!
WHEN: Risa: After Hours
WARNINGS: Nothing scandalous yet!


The Resort
The amount of information that Tony had now was not helpful, and neither the tablet he had been carefully tucked into his new bed with nor the computers spread throughout the resort were properly calibrated to help Tony map this ever sprawling conundrum. He had no way to connect the mysterious '31' to apocalyptic storms on a planet he had never heard of to all of the information telling him he was currently in an episode of Star Trek. What he did have was: an already rockstar-trashed room, a new wardrobe, and a creeping sensation of truly disgusting self-pity eating away in the pit of his stomach that he was going to have to overcome very rapidly before it grew any more powerful. To do that, he needed answers. He needed Cap. No, he could do this.

If he was going to solve the problem, he had to be in control of how at the very least. So far, the market had offered Tony plenty of fun and fashion, but not anything particularly useful, and it was about time he experienced a childhood fantasy: the replicators. One of the staff members had helpfully directed him in a way that felt so reminiscent of suggesting the ice machine back on familiar ground, that when Tony was actually standing in front of the thing, his first impulse was 'computer: ice'. And the replicator just made it, just like that; and not even just ice, this thing was advanced enough to interpret this failure of a human communication, vague and directionless, and delivered the beautiful, mouthwateringly glistening ice chips in a delicate glass, a useful container for his bumbling desires. Tony could smell how crunchy they were. He stared at this gift for too long in wonder, before remembering that he was still in public and gave a glance up and down the hall, regrouping, trying to focus. It was late so the halls felt deserted, but anyone could be coming back from the clubs at any hour in this place. Current problem: Kidnapping situation. Problem for another time: solving world hunger. He collected his glass of ice, then tried again, asking for a set of precision tools and a soldering iron. Then, after holding all of this cradled in a hammock of his shirt pulled away from his stomach, asked for superglue (this did not work, Tony had to get more specific and got what he hoped he was looking for with 'Cyanoacrylate?'), then, duh, bandages. He should have brought a bag. "Oh. Computer, one more thing, sweetheart. Do you have a bag?" A Ferengi rounded the corner, looking festive in a Margaritaville shirt (would he get the reference?) but staring very seriously at Tony, clearly suspicious and unwilling to share this space with him at this hour. Tony wasn't eager to find out if the species was really as they were portrayed, and instead gave a courteous nod of acknowledgement as he slung his cleverly resort-branded cloth bag of goods over his shoulder and slid away, glass in hand, to find another station to test the limits of. It couldn't hurt to test out his new tools on one, just a little bit. He could solve two problems at once.

It was late, and the breeze flowed easily through the open-air halls of the resort, keeping the still-warm, tropical air from feeling oppressively hot and carrying the sweet smell of alien, fruiting flowers with it. It was the perfect time to case the joint.

[Video]
[A video message posted to the network of a man frowning down into the camera, chin propped up in one hand and looking equal parts bored and skeptical, but occasionally glancing up, just past the camera, possibly betraying his alert tension.
Tony is in his room, sitting with his back against the bed where he has clearly thoroughly tossed the blankets, a single pillow left in the middle of the mattress among the mess. He knows from Billy that this is the best way to get in touch with anyone who might be able to relate to his situation. It doesn't make him feel any less vulnerable.]

I'm used to having some, you know, guidelines-- hard to read the room here, hard to read the audience. Um-- Tony. [He quickly touches his chest, that's me, before holding his chin again.] Looking for: just some fun, nothing serious. Likes: long walks on the beach, particle physics, black coffee. Dislikes: The smell of bookstores. I know, you'll try to convince me, and it will be a very good date, because I've never had a bad one, but I still won't like the smell. What else goes on these things...? [He's looking past the camera again, like he's waiting for the response to come from out there. If this doesn't produce solid results, Tony's ready to take this thing apart and make it more useful to him.]

Comments

Video

[plate_builder]

[Well, Tony probably isn't the only one amused by his little show there. Reeve, at the very least, has an amused smile as his own video response starts.]

Those individuals who put cream into coffee really don't understand the importance of as much caffeine in your system as fast as possible, do they? Cream is just a way of saying that you don't like the taste of coffee. That being said, a single drop of almond extract to add some fragrance helps after a long night.

As for beaches, well the sand I can do without.

Books are nice enough, but I've no time for the stores and I prefer the smell of crisper drafting paper to, well, old books. The smell is actually the process of the books breaking down.

[in_extremis]

I've known guys who'll do like, half milk, half coffee, and turn around and tell me they can't start their day without it. Hey, Jack, that's just milk, you're, like, 45 years old, you've got to wean at some point. [Tony is trying to be intensely judgemental, but he can't help brightening at someone finally wanting to play along with him. He would have had way too many nudes in his inbox at this point if he had done something like that at home, it was starting to effect his self-esteem.]

[plate_builder]

That's worse than a latte, and that isn't even coffee.

[Reeve shudders a little.]

Not that milk is bad, you should be doing what you can to properly intake calcium. My secretary tries to give it to me in tea. She wants me to drink tea instead of coffee. The world is built upon coffee. I can't get the young woman to understand.

[in_extremis]

[Something about that is offputting to Tony, but he's sure Mrs. Arbogast has tried to slip a more balanced meal into his chaotic schedule more than once. They never talked about Tony's vitamin levels, though. He liked a silent understanding.] Here's the trick, get her worked up about your sleep schedule. Make mornings hard enough on her and she'll never take that coffee away from you.

How do you cope with this beach paradise? There's sand in my toothbrush, sweetheart, there's no avoiding it.

[plate_builder]

Sleep schedule? Not sure I’ve ever heard of one of those.

[His voice is definitely light and vaguely teasing. Yes, Reeve doesn’t know how to have proper sleep, and his secretary has long since given up hopes. Well, no, but she went home sometimes, and Reeve hadn’t been prone to it.]

In the end I found the more efficient option was to put a coffee machine in my office and not allow her the chance to deny me what I needed.

As for coping... well, I have been trying to work and ignoring this whole premise.

[in_extremis]

[Tony recognizes this true comrade in unhealthy habits with a grin, and he's rewarded with what he has been hoping to hear from anybody this whole time.] Work? [Please be normal and actually trying to get out of here.]

[plate_builder]

[Well why would he not work? There is so much he needs to do back at home, he wants to return there, and this isn't the first time he got caught. At least this time he was told there was a means to return home. All he had to do was help.\

Yes, I fear I've never been given to vacations. Too many things to do. Too many people to help. Too many personal projects to fiddle with. I fear long walks on beaches were never really suited to me.

[in_extremis]

[This guy missed one important thing on his list of good qualities.] And, can I just say, impeccable facial hair. What did you say your name was?

[plate_builder]

[Reeve laughs, can't even help it. Of course the man appreciates the facial hair, because Tony definitely seems to have roughly the same vibe as Reeve. Perhaps it's something about smart overworkers who prefer black coffee?]

Thank you. Sometimes how you present yourself matters. As for me, I'm Reeve Tuesti.

[in_extremis]

What exactly is it that you're working on, Reeve Tuesti?

[plate_builder]

I have been attempting to extrapolate what the power grid of Temba would be. Sadly I wasn’t there long before this forced vacation.

[in_extremis]

[This is the most erotic thing anyone on this sex planet has said to Tony.] Do you think it has something to do with them moving us around?

[plate_builder]

[Careful or he might discuss power couplings or servos.]

No. I believe, when pouring through old information provided that they seek to provide some relief after the storm. The Agrii are trying to regain their ancestral home, but by have the social skills of children. I do believe they intend this to be good. However this is clearly misguided.

[After a moment of contemplation he shrugs.]

They are kinder than my last ‘hosts’ though. And I don’t anticipate will need to raise any barns so small favors.

[in_extremis]

They gave you that information. They're in control of exactly how much you know about them. [Tony's not going to quickly believe this is some kind of altruistic kidnapping.] But if it's just a matter of environmental control, why'd they send us here? Why not ask the Risans for help themselves?

[plate_builder]

Ah, now there is the rub, is it not? One cannot believe what we are told.

[But there is something to be said for playing along to learn.]

However, providing for the needs of my fellows I will do. Thus the project. I can do only so much.

[in_extremis]

Have you asked the Risans? [Tony doesn't know anything about this storm, but it seems pretty obvious to him why they're here, specifically, now that this is the 800th person to mention it to him.] They have weather control systems all over this planet.

[plate_builder]

The Who? Oh, the natives. No they seem too...

Flakey.

[And he lets out quite a sigh.]

I checked some systems here. These computers that respond to your voice. It has never heard of these people who have taken us.

[in_extremis]

Really? They seem very helpful to me. [He's grinning, watching Reeve carefully. Tony already knew he wouldn't appreciate a romp on a beach, but he could tell the Risans could be wildly accommodating, and so far no one he talked to had admitted to tasting the local fruit. Tony might have to be the one to do it, for science.] Not the computers, no-- check the database, this planet is called Risa. Look at the history. Are you near a computer? They stabilized the weather patterns, they stopped earthquakes from happening. This ecosystem is entirely processed, it's American cheese. Isn't that what you guys are trying to do?

[plate_builder]

[Well Reeve isn’t going for the low hanging fruit these people represent.]

What sort of cheese?

[He truly looks a touch confused. Which he waves off.]

If the Agrii can bring us here they perhaps we can barter for the text. But what have we of value trade.

[in_extremis]

[It is entirely possible this one is not from Earth, at least not one Tony would recognize, and this is a relief to figure out. It was a better explanation for why he talked like...that, better than just being a weird asshole. Less offputting.]

Do you think that matters? These people aren't really capitalists, I don't know if a barter is the move here. Maybe we could just...go check 'em out, see how the technology works.

[plate_builder]

[Oh yes, so far beyond possible that it's actively probable. And Reeve made no apologies for it. He had come to be friends with a few people from Earth, though. Like Leonardo Di Vinci. The man had been quite interesting to hang out with.]

I can't help but believe they are better for ignoring that particular failed experiment of capitalism. It can destroy a world. But yes, I would love to try and figure out how a system such as that would work. The issue is that my areas of expertise might tell me some of it, but I'd lack understanding of the whole complex issue I fear.

[in_extremis]

We'll tag team it. You can be the eye candy and keep security distracted, if it comes to it.

[plate_builder]

[Oh dear, he is absolutely flustered now. And it's obvious. He blushes just a touch, his eyes a bit away from the screen.]

That is a kind thing to suggest, but it is not accurate. Distractions tend to require confidence I don't possess in situations like this.

[in_extremis]

[Tony doesn't miss it. Answer carefully, Reeve.] Like what? The climate, or the kidnapping?

[plate_builder]

[Oh dear. Reeve sighs.]

I suppose I’m good with either of those. I have been kidnapped to a place not unlike this situation before. But I am more focused on restoring the climate in my world in another manner. I meant more distractions require confidence and self-possession I do not have, especially when using the methods you have alluded to.