Maxine "Max" Mayfield (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
madginger) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
revivalproject2025-11-17 07:24 am
madginger) wrote in revivalproject2025-11-17 07:24 am
The Human Paradox
WHO: Max, Billy, Robin + anyone else left
WHERE: the bar of the Peanut Party
WHAT: Saying goodbye
WHEN: Before leaving
WARNINGS: Panic attacks, grief, course language, upcoming violence
Welcome to my delirium - open to anyone
Max listens to everything, to their options, to the explanations, and feels the world shift as she does. For a second, it feels like she's going to pass out - please no - so she reaches out to steady herself.
Go home. She can't even begin to process the conflicting fear and grief with the elation of maybe seeing Lucas and El again. Seeing Will, Mike, Dustin, Steve, Nancy - her friends. But, she's also made friends here, and there are some she'll never see again, no matter what. There's also knowing the first thing she's going to deal with when she returns is Vecna part. Her heart thuds in her chest, painfully and she finds herself gulping in air.
Sure, she could go into the open with everyone at the bars, maybe that would help, but she's embarrassed at the lack of courage. Not that she doesn't want to face and fight Vecna - she does. She wants to rip a hole through his damned chest for everything he's done to all of them, their home. But right now, Max needs to rely an older tactic of hers. She runs. She finds a small, hidden away, dark area and breaks into frightened, torn sobs. Collapsed into a ball, head buried in her knees, she cries in a way she's not accustomed to. Max hates it, hearing herself, feeling the heat on her face, but she can't seem to stop it, either.
She knows what she has to do, and she suspects what Billy is going to do. She won't deny him, hell, she would encourage him to go with Tommy, but it's a little bit like losing him all over again.
When she finally cries it out and feels stronger, she stands up with the knowledge at least Billy will be alive somewhere, and get the happy ending he always deserved but was robbed of. She can live with that.
No matter what, she's taking her memories with her, the offered crystal, the chance to return once in a while, and she's taking some time to say farewell, first. She manages to find one last piece of paper, and a pen that's survived.
Her eyes are still red, but she forces a smile as she starts to approach people she wants to say goodbye to. Max reaches out to touch an arm, first, then gives a silent hug.
Dear Billy, 2.0 - closed to Billy
When she's ready, Max breathes in, deeply, and starts to look for Billy. No matter what, they need to say goodbye, but she can't pretend she doesn't clench her hands into fists and that her feet feel like lead. It takes everything she has, because she doesn't want to speak to him for the last time.
And what did Max take time to write? The letter she plans to give Billy as they part ways?
Dear Billy,
I had this letter for you from home, but when I came back I couldn't find it. It was kind of terrible, anyway, and I was planning to burn it. It was from my heart when I first wrote it, but after we met here on Agra-10 and reconciled, it felt immature when I reread it.
Maybe it's best I couldn't find it. Now, you get this one.
We both know I have to go home, and I can't promise you things are going to end well, but I can promise I'm going to fight with everything I have. I can promise you I'm never going to forget having you as a brother here. I'm not going to forget how far we both came.
I also suspect you're going to go home with Tommy. I want you to go with the knowledge I'll be fine, and that I'll always cherish the extra time we got to steal from the universe. You deserve that happiness, especially after how hard you've worked, and how you were robbed back home. Take this second chance. Don't make me push you.
I'm probably going to say some of this, but I want you to have it in writing, to take with you, since this is probably the last thing I'll be able to give you. The last things I'll get to say to you.
You became the big brother I always wanted. You earned this. Don't you ever forget that. Every time you question that, and we know you will, read this and remind yourself how much you struggled, how much you changed. Remember the fact you became a good person. That was a choice you made. Remember I'm somewhere back in Hawkins, alive and well, thinking of my brother, and my brother-in-law, somewhere living a better life.
Love, your shitty little sister,
Max
Step right into pandemonium - closed to Robin
Sure, they weren't that close back home, but after spending time together on Agra-10, the ships, this whole adventure, she feels far more sentimental about her, closer to her, so Max decides to at least speak to her before she takes the final steps to leave.
"Hey, Robin," she calls out and waves to her as she approaches. "So, I can't turn away from what's happening back in Hawkins. But I wanted to check in and see what you're thinking."
WHERE: the bar of the Peanut Party
WHAT: Saying goodbye
WHEN: Before leaving
WARNINGS: Panic attacks, grief, course language, upcoming violence
Welcome to my delirium - open to anyone
Max listens to everything, to their options, to the explanations, and feels the world shift as she does. For a second, it feels like she's going to pass out - please no - so she reaches out to steady herself.
Go home. She can't even begin to process the conflicting fear and grief with the elation of maybe seeing Lucas and El again. Seeing Will, Mike, Dustin, Steve, Nancy - her friends. But, she's also made friends here, and there are some she'll never see again, no matter what. There's also knowing the first thing she's going to deal with when she returns is Vecna part. Her heart thuds in her chest, painfully and she finds herself gulping in air.
Sure, she could go into the open with everyone at the bars, maybe that would help, but she's embarrassed at the lack of courage. Not that she doesn't want to face and fight Vecna - she does. She wants to rip a hole through his damned chest for everything he's done to all of them, their home. But right now, Max needs to rely an older tactic of hers. She runs. She finds a small, hidden away, dark area and breaks into frightened, torn sobs. Collapsed into a ball, head buried in her knees, she cries in a way she's not accustomed to. Max hates it, hearing herself, feeling the heat on her face, but she can't seem to stop it, either.
She knows what she has to do, and she suspects what Billy is going to do. She won't deny him, hell, she would encourage him to go with Tommy, but it's a little bit like losing him all over again.
When she finally cries it out and feels stronger, she stands up with the knowledge at least Billy will be alive somewhere, and get the happy ending he always deserved but was robbed of. She can live with that.
No matter what, she's taking her memories with her, the offered crystal, the chance to return once in a while, and she's taking some time to say farewell, first. She manages to find one last piece of paper, and a pen that's survived.
Her eyes are still red, but she forces a smile as she starts to approach people she wants to say goodbye to. Max reaches out to touch an arm, first, then gives a silent hug.
Dear Billy, 2.0 - closed to Billy
When she's ready, Max breathes in, deeply, and starts to look for Billy. No matter what, they need to say goodbye, but she can't pretend she doesn't clench her hands into fists and that her feet feel like lead. It takes everything she has, because she doesn't want to speak to him for the last time.
And what did Max take time to write? The letter she plans to give Billy as they part ways?
Dear Billy,
I had this letter for you from home, but when I came back I couldn't find it. It was kind of terrible, anyway, and I was planning to burn it. It was from my heart when I first wrote it, but after we met here on Agra-10 and reconciled, it felt immature when I reread it.
Maybe it's best I couldn't find it. Now, you get this one.
We both know I have to go home, and I can't promise you things are going to end well, but I can promise I'm going to fight with everything I have. I can promise you I'm never going to forget having you as a brother here. I'm not going to forget how far we both came.
I also suspect you're going to go home with Tommy. I want you to go with the knowledge I'll be fine, and that I'll always cherish the extra time we got to steal from the universe. You deserve that happiness, especially after how hard you've worked, and how you were robbed back home. Take this second chance. Don't make me push you.
I'm probably going to say some of this, but I want you to have it in writing, to take with you, since this is probably the last thing I'll be able to give you. The last things I'll get to say to you.
You became the big brother I always wanted. You earned this. Don't you ever forget that. Every time you question that, and we know you will, read this and remind yourself how much you struggled, how much you changed. Remember the fact you became a good person. That was a choice you made. Remember I'm somewhere back in Hawkins, alive and well, thinking of my brother, and my brother-in-law, somewhere living a better life.
Love, your shitty little sister,
Max
Step right into pandemonium - closed to Robin
Sure, they weren't that close back home, but after spending time together on Agra-10, the ships, this whole adventure, she feels far more sentimental about her, closer to her, so Max decides to at least speak to her before she takes the final steps to leave.
"Hey, Robin," she calls out and waves to her as she approaches. "So, I can't turn away from what's happening back in Hawkins. But I wanted to check in and see what you're thinking."
no subject
He stuffs her original letter in his pocket deep enough so she can't surprise attack to get it back. The new one goes into the box of things he's taking with - tucked right between cassette tapes and her Walkman.
Billy takes a moment to wipe his eyes with the back of his hands. "Will do, shitbird. And if you ever feel down or think you can't do something back home, just pretend I'm yelling at you to do it. Because there's no roadblock you can't overcome. And no matter what, you get to know I love you and you know what? If I had to die again to make sure you and your shitty friends would live?"
He looks right at her, eyes glassy with their wetness. "I'd do it again. For my sister." Another hard sniff. "Now you get your ass back home. You don't have to try and make me proud, either. I already am."
no subject
Again, she rolls her eyes to his encouragement, but her giant smile and softer, "Yeah, I'll imagine that. Easy to do. Never can forget your obnoxious voice yelling at me." It's all said with fondness.
Her eyes close to Billy's mention of willing to give his life again, to the thought of having to see Billy die again, and tears leak out the sides, down her cheeks, once again.
There's a nod of her head as Max reopens her eyes. She tries to wipe her eyes dry as she tells him, "Billy...." Her voice starts to break, pitched with fear. "I'm going. I promise. But...."
She breathes in, heavily as her body seems to crumple under the weight of what she's been carrying. "But I'm so fucking scared."
It's the only time she wants to say it, and he's the only one she wants to admit it to. Being parted, again, forever, is hard enough, but going back to face Vecna doesn't help.
no subject
"It's fine. Be scared. Just don't be scared forever. That's not the sister I know, who was scared while I fought Harr- Steve. I fought Steve, and then stuck me with God knows what in a syringe. You dealt with asshole me for so long, being asleep for a little bit is nothing to a shitbird like you. But you're gonna wake up and get back out there. Trust me in that. I know my how stubborn my little sister is going to be."
He pulls back and wipes at his own face. "I'm gonna miss you. But you'll be fine. You get to know I'm fine wherever Tommy's going and I know you'll be fine when you go back to Hawkins."
no subject
She laughs at Billy as she pulls back, tears starting to slow again.
"I'm more stubborn than you can imagine," she insists. "And you can call him Harrington. I call him that when he's earning it."
Max nods her head, a little less happy at the reminder they'll be parted. But Billy's right, they know they'll both be okay. If anything, Billy will be better off.
"I've got amazing friends. I trust them to have my back. I promise you...they won't let anything happen to me, if they can help it, and I'm not giving up, or running away."
no subject
"Good. I know your friends are dweebs but they're good, for middle-schoolers." Or maybe high schoolers. Billy never paid that much attention. "Love you, Mad Max. But I gotta get going. I got a future with a speedy boyfriend waiting for me."
no subject
Leave it to Max to correct Billy with, "We're in high school, now." Not that Max grew much.
"Love you, too, big brother," she tells him, then reaches to give Billy a push, a soft one, but a push all the same, with all of her approval for his decision, and hope for his future in that gesture.
There's one last bittersweet smile, knowing this is the last time.
"I'm really grateful that we got this chance at all. It's only fair it has to end."