Ghostriders In the Sky [Catch-All Event Log]

[thepurpleone]

WHO: Cal Kestis, Cayde-6, Donnie and youie?
WHERE: Ships, station and planetside
WHAT: Stuff
WHEN: During the event thing
WARNINGS: N/A

((Setting up separate comment TLs for each of the boys))

Comments

[thepurpleone]

"I would've done the same thing!"

For a split-second Donnie looked like he regretted yelling back, but he doubled down on it.

"So maybe we'd both accidentally kill someone and feel terrible about it, but in the moment, you were doing what you thought would work, you were trying to open the pod! Cutting the energy would in theory work, but unfortunately nothing of the tech and information for anything make sense because some stupid entities figured it was better separating knowledge and understanding of things that otherwise have informational overlaps but for whatever reason it doesn't translate that way when we rewrite our brain with their preprogrammed information!

"So I can't be mad at you for doing what you thought would work, because you were doing what you thought you could. And maybe things would have turned out terribly if Leo and Wesker didn't do anything, maybe I wouldn't be here yelling at you. But I am, and things worked out one way or another. You keep talking about something that's already happened, that you wouldn't do anything different. I get that. But if it happened again in the future, would you still do it, knowing what you do now? You're focused on the wrong thing. Stop beating yourself up over something that almost happened. Wesker already did that for you."

[in_extremis]

The yelling only made Tony purse his lips, asking if volume was really how Donnie wanted to make his point. It didn't make him flinch or shrink, though, and his gesture might have even been looser as he splayed an annoyed hand at Donnie's question, eyes incredulously wide. It wasn't that Donnie wasn't listening the eighteen times that he had already said it was his brain that was the problem, because he had just made the same argument that Tony kept having with himself--he was trying to open the pod, and yes, it would still do that. No preprogrammed information would tell him that opening the pod was a bad idea.

"And I deserved it. This isn't in my head; he thought so, you thought so, Tae thought so, Steve thought so--I was doing my best, sure, I've heard it, and that's still my best, because my best is Doctor Doom's worst. I don't understand what you expect me to do. You think if the Soldier walks by right now, he doesn't come in here and choke me out for arguing with you, too? You think 'he said it was okay' is a reasonable claim?"

[thepurpleone]

"I just-"

Donnie winced, exhausted at trying find different ways to reword things he'd already said. He was wrung out of words, and it wasn't often that he spoke so openly about what he was thinking and feeling. That it seemed he was still missing something, or something wasn't connecting just threw him off for what more to say or do. Letting go was just not a Donnie thing to do.

"...I just want the Tony back that I knew before..."

But maybe that was impossible.

He turned again to resume his exit. Hopefully those dumb planet scans finished soon. He needed to be somewhere else with something else to focus on, anywhere that wasn't here.

[in_extremis]

There wasn't any argument against what Donnie wanted; there wasn't even one to redirect them back to the point, because that might have ultimately been the point, no matter how long Tony tried to find the words against it. He was still searching for them as he watched Donnie go, then slumped against the table. Slowly, he turned to pitch over and bang his head against it instead, with an exhale that wasn't the relief he was hoping for. Jon couldn't stand the man that he had been. Donnie had never really known who he was. The broken pieces that were left were never going to deserve either of them.