revivalproject | Who Needs Sleep

WHO: Tommy Shepherd, Billy Hargrove, Open
WHERE: Temba Greenhouse, Temba Diner, Temba Area
WHAT: Searching for Billy Kaplan
WHEN: First Day back on Temba, through all of February
WARNINGS: cw: abandonment issues, possible borderline self destructive behavior (in a physical sense)

I. Wearing Out Shoe Leather | Open

At first he let himself believe the absence wasn't an absence so much as the worst form of hide and seek ever. It would be just like his brother to do something like that after all. To have his communication device away from him, or to be talking to the Agrii and not looking it over, or maybe just his brother being temporarily unavailable. Hell, Tommy had even gone down into the under areas of engineering to try and check the tubes there.

And now that he was back on the surface of Temba, well, he was no longer having any damn fun with this game. Because... Because it needs to be okay.

Otherwise...

No. No, he's not going to think about the otherwise, alright? Instead there's a blur of speed throughout all of Temba. It stops here and there, like a humming bird flitting from flower to flower for food. Stops are brief, either to whip up a quick meal in the diner, or to search delicately through plants and trees and fragile ruins. All the while his voice tears through the air, calling the same series of names over and over, seeking, hoping, unable to give up.

"Billy! Billiam! Wiccan! Punk! Where are you?!"

Don't let him be alone. Please, don't... Don't let him be alone again.

II. Comfort In You | Closed to Billy Hargrove

He's tired. So tired. How long had it been since he'd eaten? Since he'd slept? Tommy frankly doesn't know. What he does know is that he goes to the only place that feels safe in his undeniable despair. On some level he remembers the feeling of sand on his bare feet, the result of him running enough to run his shoes to pieces. He remembers the door. Pushing it open. Moving to the bed. Collapsing onto it with a pathetic noise that he'll never admit he made.

Safe. His mind says he's safe. That Billy will be here, sooner or later. Not the one he sought. The other one. The one who will hold him and tell him he's not alone. That he won't be alone. Even if he was. Even if he had lost the other part of his soul (part of the other part of his soul), he would still have someone who cared.

So he needed this.

III. Burning the All Hours Oil | Open

Who needed sleep anyway? There was this whole fucking world to explore. Things to be done. Places to clean up or restore. Plants to be tended. The plants still needed him. People still needed him for food, right? Right. Yeah.

That's why it's three in the morning and he's hand examining every plant in the cumato area, checking the budding leaves for health. Nearby a few Funfronds seem to linger, trying to get his attention with their dancing, but he ignores them. Just focuses as he moves slowly from plant to plant. From spot in the soil to spot in the soil.

HE's been here for hours. Before this he'd been in the diner and cleaned every last surface and every last utensil. Before that it had been dusting in the Civics Center. Before that catching lobsters on the beach. Before that...

God he can't even remember. Hours were blurring together, as much because of his powers as because he was losing himself. His focus, his drive. Strange to think a lot more of it had depended on one person than he was prepared for. Two people now.

But the sleepiness is not good for him, clearly. Because the second he hears someone approaching he flinches. And flinching from a speedster isn't good. Why? Because between one moment and the next he's no longer standing where he was. He's several feet back, a trowel held up before him like it was a weapon meant to defend himself. His eyes are blurry, red from crying, and definitely not entirely there. Like he's lost.

Maybe he is.

"What do you want?" he snaps when he realizes it isn't danger that's facing him.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Tommy's a man of many talents. And most people considered him annoying. But he does grimace at the very plain calling out here.

"I mean, I feel sheltered. No elements. But as far as I know, it was Billy's sleep habits that were your business."

"Don't be crass." The Soldier doesn't appreciate the implication Tommy makes — it's nobody's business but his and Billy's. Just as Tommy's specific sleeping arrangements regarding who he chooses or does not choose to share his bed with is not the Soldier's business.

Crass is something he defaults to, but he winces. Because it wasn't quite what he'd meant. He meant that Billy shared a residential space with Soldier now, instead of with his twin.

"Sorry. Fuck. I didn't mean it like that."

"Didn't you?" A small part of him had to mean it, to lash out with it. The Soldier tries to tell himself to be patient with Tommy, but sometimes it's not easy. Especially when Tommy doesn't seem to want his help. He can't entirely blame him on that either.

"You're hurting, and you seek to cause hurt in return. Am I wrong?"

No, he just had metaphors in him. He would have said the same thing to anyone else. But he's still angry and hurt.

"There's no value in hurting. Hell, Billy would hate me for it. Hate me more for it."

Anger and hurt both have ways of twisting things all up. The Soldier tries to be patient in light of that knowledge. But Tommy certainly is testing his limits.

"Billy doesn't hate you." Because, well, he doesn't. The Soldier knows that for an absolute truth.

"He didn't here," Tommy counters. "Back home, this is when he starts icing me out. When he doesn't talk to me, or want to see me. When I learn about things I could have helped with weeks later from Kate because he forbids Teddy from tellign me."

"Doesn't." Present tense, not past. Billy hasn't been gone long enough to assume it's permanent. "And if you are so sure based on your past experience, why not try talking to him preemptively?"

Get ahead of the perceived problem, before it becomes a real problem. Or before the problem manifests itself simply from strong enough belief.

Maybe it wasn't permanent. But Tommy hated the lack anyway.

"You think I didn't try back home? Only so many times you get shut out before you're done, you know?"

"Does that preclude you from trying here?" Perhaps it does; perhaps the obstacles is so large that Tommy can't or won't try to surmount it. The Soldier can't imagine the feeling, because he doesn't really have anything equivalent to which he could compare it.

"I can't tell you what you should discuss with your brother. I can only tell you that he loves you very much, and he worries about you."

"Not as much as I worry about him," Tommy answered. Because Soldier couldn't know what it was like, watching Billy through the worst part of his life.

The fear he'd had for his new brother had been... deep.

"So you can acknowledge that he worries, but can't be bothered to take care of yourself. Which would make him worry more." In the Soldier's eyes it makes Tommy a hypocrite. But he doubts that Tommy cares much about his opinion.

"The best thing you can do for him is to stop sulking and take care of yourself. Because when he comes back, he's going to need you."

"He isn't here to worry," Tommy counters. Yes, he's a hypocrit. But who cares?

"He's not coming back. Why would you ever think he would come back?"

Because he's really frustrated. EVen when he was gone it wasn't for this long. People don't come back from t his long.

"So you need him here to be bothered talking care of yourself?"

That seems selfish to the Soldier, but he doubts he could explain it in a way that could be understood. Or at least, he doesn't think Tommy's in the right mindset to want to understand it.

"Why would you assume he wouldn't come back? I've been taken for far longer." And that had been hell on Billy, once he realized the absence; that had been before they'd really even become friendly.

"No!" Tommy snaps.

And also, sort of, yes. Grief was like that. It could make you stupid. And he was grieving, pretty hard.

"Because... Because the people I love that go, they don't come back. Ever. They go and they stay gone."

Who Needs Sleep

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject