revivalproject | Who Needs Sleep

Entry tags:

Who Needs Sleep

WHO: Tommy Shepherd, Billy Hargrove, Open
WHERE: Temba Greenhouse, Temba Diner, Temba Area
WHAT: Searching for Billy Kaplan
WHEN: First Day back on Temba, through all of February
WARNINGS: cw: abandonment issues, possible borderline self destructive behavior (in a physical sense)

I. Wearing Out Shoe Leather | Open

At first he let himself believe the absence wasn't an absence so much as the worst form of hide and seek ever. It would be just like his brother to do something like that after all. To have his communication device away from him, or to be talking to the Agrii and not looking it over, or maybe just his brother being temporarily unavailable. Hell, Tommy had even gone down into the under areas of engineering to try and check the tubes there.

And now that he was back on the surface of Temba, well, he was no longer having any damn fun with this game. Because... Because it needs to be okay.

Otherwise...

No. No, he's not going to think about the otherwise, alright? Instead there's a blur of speed throughout all of Temba. It stops here and there, like a humming bird flitting from flower to flower for food. Stops are brief, either to whip up a quick meal in the diner, or to search delicately through plants and trees and fragile ruins. All the while his voice tears through the air, calling the same series of names over and over, seeking, hoping, unable to give up.

"Billy! Billiam! Wiccan! Punk! Where are you?!"

Don't let him be alone. Please, don't... Don't let him be alone again.

II. Comfort In You | Closed to Billy Hargrove

He's tired. So tired. How long had it been since he'd eaten? Since he'd slept? Tommy frankly doesn't know. What he does know is that he goes to the only place that feels safe in his undeniable despair. On some level he remembers the feeling of sand on his bare feet, the result of him running enough to run his shoes to pieces. He remembers the door. Pushing it open. Moving to the bed. Collapsing onto it with a pathetic noise that he'll never admit he made.

Safe. His mind says he's safe. That Billy will be here, sooner or later. Not the one he sought. The other one. The one who will hold him and tell him he's not alone. That he won't be alone. Even if he was. Even if he had lost the other part of his soul (part of the other part of his soul), he would still have someone who cared.

So he needed this.

III. Burning the All Hours Oil | Open

Who needed sleep anyway? There was this whole fucking world to explore. Things to be done. Places to clean up or restore. Plants to be tended. The plants still needed him. People still needed him for food, right? Right. Yeah.

That's why it's three in the morning and he's hand examining every plant in the cumato area, checking the budding leaves for health. Nearby a few Funfronds seem to linger, trying to get his attention with their dancing, but he ignores them. Just focuses as he moves slowly from plant to plant. From spot in the soil to spot in the soil.

HE's been here for hours. Before this he'd been in the diner and cleaned every last surface and every last utensil. Before that it had been dusting in the Civics Center. Before that catching lobsters on the beach. Before that...

God he can't even remember. Hours were blurring together, as much because of his powers as because he was losing himself. His focus, his drive. Strange to think a lot more of it had depended on one person than he was prepared for. Two people now.

But the sleepiness is not good for him, clearly. Because the second he hears someone approaching he flinches. And flinching from a speedster isn't good. Why? Because between one moment and the next he's no longer standing where he was. He's several feet back, a trowel held up before him like it was a weapon meant to defend himself. His eyes are blurry, red from crying, and definitely not entirely there. Like he's lost.

Maybe he is.

"What do you want?" he snaps when he realizes it isn't danger that's facing him.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Yes, he can," Sephiroth agrees. "He wasn't thinking about that. He's worried about you getting some proper rest."

Which Sephiroth probably needs to do himself.

Proper rest. Tommy snorts.

"Got better things to do than sleep my life away like a snail."

"Heh. Don't we all," Sephiroth remarks. "Unfortunately, sooner or later it starts to catch up with you. I won't try to force you to rest; I just came to find you and deliver the message that people are worried about you." A pause. "I've been looking for your brother as well."

Of course, he hasn't had any luck, but he wanted to express that he is aware of the disappearance and is trying to help.

Tommy looks about ready to roll his eyes at the suggestion of sleep. But no, Sephiroth has to mention his brother. And that definitely drives a snarl from Tommy.

"Don't you mention him. He's not here and you won't find him. If I can't find him, you can't."

And it's angering for him to have someone else, someone who didn't know Billy well, talk about him.

Sephiroth recognizes this is coming from a place of hurt and grief, but sighs to himself for making an error in what he had hoped might provide some comfort. He doubts there is any point in staying; he didn't want to make things worse.

"Very well. I'll tell Radley I've found you."

He steps back.

Hard to find comfort when you don't know the guy.

"Why? Why are you even running errands for him?"

He doesn't even get it.

Sephiroth would think most would be grateful for others to help look, whether they were known or not. But he has met one or two species who found it an insult for outsiders to help, which he found foolish and arrogant but had tried to respect on their worlds.

He folds his arms. "I took the Security datapoint because I felt I could be the most useful and helpful that way. But I would help anyone who needed it regardless of my datapoint. That is who I am."

Like the way his counterpart feels when sane, he wants to protect everyone.

Sometimes it isn't about species. Sometimes it's about the trauma in your life making it feel harder to accept help. Still, Tommy grits his teeth against the way Sephiroth explains it.

"So you're fulfilling your superhero streak on a guy that is pissed off at the world? Good for you. I'm not going to blow up the building."

"No one thinks you are," Sephiroth replies. "We're concerned for your safety and well-being."

He frowns. "Why would you think anyone thinks you're going to destroy something?"

His safety. Tommy snorts. No one ever thinks about his safety. At least that's been the experience for most of his life, so he's not buying that.

"Because I'm a weapon. Or people tried to make me one. And my Uncle always explodes over stupid shit. People assume I hurt other people."

His own brother assumed-

No. Not going there.

Oh, what his counterpart could say in response to being made a weapon. Still, he does have something to offer.

"People have assumed I hurt others as well."

He never would have hurt Zack on purpose, but some believe he did. And afterwards, when he had trained to become stronger, to not allow himself to be mind-controlled again, the cruel rumors had flown all the more and the unkind people had multiplied.

Really? Tommy guesses he can believe it. Guy looks intimidating.

"Of course they did. It's the wings, isn't it? They always assume those who are different are dangerous."

Granted, Tommy would be dangerous if he chose to be.

"That's part of it on at least some worlds," Sephiroth agrees. "Other times it's the fire powers ... or knowing dark magic."

He could be very dangerous if he chose. He may not be quite as over-powered as the other, but he's still a deadly force to be reckoned with.

"Dude, I know so many people with fire powers. Dark is less common, but shadow manipulation ain't a bad thing. It's how you use a power that makes it good or bad."

And he has a lot of personal experience with that.

Sephiroth nods. "I quite agree. I only ever sought power to protect ... or to be strong enough to protect."

And that had horrifically backfired with Zack. He didn't know that he could ever think of himself as a hero anymore, but he still wanted to protect.

And that could always lead to people falling down holes of doing wrong. But intention mattered.

"It's hard to be strong enough to protect everyone from everything."

But he wished he could do it for his brother anyway.

"Try impossible," Sephiroth grunted. "I haven't heard of anyone who ever successfully did it."

And yet he tried anyway. It was all he knew.

Yeah. Tommy wilts. He doesn't like this much. But that's how his life goes he supposes.

"Doesn't mean I can't try."

Sephiroth looks pleased. Impossible or not, that was the reaction he was hoping for: a bit of determination and hope still left.

"Then we're on the same page. I'm not giving up either."

Yeah, well, he doesn't have to.

"When I go home, I'll save everyone I can."

Here... Well, he'd do his best.

"Good," Sephiroth says. "So will I."

And perhaps ... even though it seems impossible ... he will still find Zack.

Maybe that's even part of why he was searching for Billy. He couldn't find Zack, and he can't bear for someone else to also be lost on his watch.

"But that doesn't mean I have to do it here."

Which was just petulant to say. But he's feeling petulant.

Sephiroth looks unruffled. "No, it doesn't," he says. "The mantle of a hero is a heavy one. Sometimes ... it's tempting to put it down."

Dammit. Don't look at him like that. Tommy turns away. Can't the guy just give him a break? He's grieving.

At least he's not giving him the full reverse psychology treatment he does to Cloud back home. Instead, he does soften his approach again.

"I have considered stopping sometimes. It doesn't always seem worth it to keep trying, especially if what I most wanted to prevent happens anyway."

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