revivalproject | Kids ~ Current Joy

It probably would have helped if Billy had checked in and said he wanted to meet in person, because Max keeps not finding him, too. It's a little annoying since she went out of her way to make cake with the replicator, so all this time, she's been carrying around a plate of cake with a couple of forks.

It's almost by chance they finally end up in the cockpit at the same time.

She finds him - at last! - and puts down the cake to point a finger at him.

"Where have you been? Why didn't you reply to my post? Don't you even check the network? AND -" since she's already yelling, might as well keep going, she points to the rubble on the floor - "what happened with that?"

Despite that, she is happy to see him, honestly.

Luckily for Max, the Walkman's headphones are around his neck instead of on his ears, so he hears her approaching. When she approaches - with cake - he scowls at her because of the yelling. Why did she have to yell?!

Already, he's getting to his feet. "Stop fucking yelling at me, you brat! I can't type on that damn thing so I went looking for you! I couldn't find you and I got mad so I came here! And that-" he points down at the rubble as well - "is none of your damn business! You were GONE! Where the fuck have you been?!"

And just like her, despite the yelling, he's glad to see she's okay, too. Last thing this ship needs is Max to be gone from the world again like last time and the dumb teenage boys fight about it again.

"I'm going to yell because you could have least dropped a note!" Max shouts back. "You didn't have to type, jerk! My post was in audio!" She finally stops yelling.

Then Max asks, curiously, and almost considerately, "You do know how to use the voice function, right?"

She shrugs. "I...actually don't know where I was. I didn't mean to miss your birthday, by the way. I didn't have a choice. Last thing I remember was going to bed, then, I woke up relaxed, and a whole month had passed by."

Yeah, Max, especially, doesn't want dumb teenage boys fighting. She wouldn't tolerate that if she was around.

"I tried to find you at least! I hate using the device thing, so I don't if I can help it. I've used it maybe twice since I've been here." Maybe three, but he can think of two times he actually used it. One with the network post about his car, and a little after that with Tommy after he had mouthed off at Kavinsky.

But she seems to stop yelling, so Billy simmers down as well. He crosses his arms over his chest to glare at her. "I don't even care that you missed it. You've been gone a whole fucking month!" Billy's almost yelling, but not quite. He breathes out through his nose, looking like he's pissed.

"I'm glad you're safe at least."

"But you could have said," and here she tries to make her voice deeper and heavily annoyed sounding, "'Meet me in the cockpit 'cause I hate this thing.' It's the least you could have done. We would have found each other sooner."

He said he doesn't care she missed his birthday, and she believes that, still she grabs the plate and nudges it in his direction, then hands him a fork.

"I know. It was a long time. But I didn't have a choice. I didn't know it happened." Beat. "I'm back, anyway."

She cants her head to his ear. "Nice hoop." She figures it was a gift, but doesn't ask.

Billy still looks peeved, but that's almost his normal face at this point. When presented with the plate of ice cream cake, he takes it with only a slight snatch. "I'm gonna say this is for your birthday, only way early. A week and a half late for mine, a week early for yours, if my dates are right."

He plops back in his seat and takes a bite. "It was a gift. There's a pair, but I keep the spare in my room in case I somehow managed to lose this one." Which would be unlikely, since he has yet to take this one off. "I think it looks good against my hair and nicely tanned skin."

Which, his skin was tanner. Tommy hadn't been lying about taking him surfing. "What'd you get from the aliens from that holiday thing on the snow planet?"

At this point, Billy looking peeved isn't going to deter Max. She pulls out another plate under the top one, then steals a decent chunk of the cake from the plate, and gladly pulls away with her own piece, but she gives Billy a smile.

"Yeah. Your dates are right. You remembered," she says in a slightly amused tone. She remembered his, too. Max lifts a piece of cake in his direction, like a toast, and tells him, "So, happy late birthday, bro," before stuffing it in her face.

In between bites, she points the fork in direction of the earring. "Whoever picked it did a good job." She half-snorts and rolls her eyes a bit. "Yeah, it kinda does."

She needs a moment, having to send her mind back for a bit. Oh, right! "My skateboard, and a Madonna tape. So I at least have a whole album to listen to." She loves Running Up That Hill, but only one song to listen to does worry her she'll wear it out.

It's been that long since they really sat down and talked? Wow, way too long, then. "What did you get?"

"Of course I remembered, I’m the best brother." Well, Billy was now because he wasn’t back then for certain. Another bite gets eaten while Max takes her own chunk. "And because I’m the best, that means I get the best presents."

Another bite. Yep, he’ll keep skirting around giving more info about that earring because the blond knows his feelings are still messy about it all.

Very messy.

"Aww shit, we’re gonna have to deal with you boarding around the ship now, aren’t we?" Billy tries to make a face, but it’s halfhearted, showing he doesn’t really mean it. "I got a surfboard, and the vase of shells that was on the mantle back home. No tapes or anything like that for me. Can’t wait to try out the board again when we’re back on Temba."

"I wouldn't go that far," Max teases him with an incredulous look, but she chuckles, instead of get annoyed. He's better, so much better.

She doesn't say anything more about the gift bit, yet, but she is curious, noticing how he's tiptoeing around it and not directly addressing it. That makes her wonder who it's from.

"Yep. I'm going board everywhere. Enjoy your toes safe, now." She grins. "Surfboard? So you're going to be boarding all the time, too. Boards for both of us." There's a beat, then she asks, "What was with those shells, anyway? Something from California?"

The growth would be visible to Max the most out of everyone in Hawkins. She had seen so much more of what happened behind closed doors, saw what kind of man her mother married.

"You run me over, I will kick your ass and go back to the beach no matter how much plead me to come back." It's not entirely clear if it's an empty threat or not. Billy takes another bite. "Of course I'm gonna go surfing all the time. It's what I do, it's the best sport for me. Basketball was just something to fill that void since Indiana doesn't have a coastline."

The question about the shells gets him to turn his gaze away. Billy's quiet, like he's not going to answer as he stares out to the void of space. No one's asked him why he got such a gift yet. Why he kept it safe in his quarters, cushioned between the wall and his pillow.

No one ever told Max, either. Of course Neil wouldn't, and Billy didn't have this growth to open up to his sister. No, Max had still been in the 'step-sister' category so the blond didn't have to be so attached to her.

"All of those shells... I picked out in California." He looks down at the cake on the plate. "I picked them out with my mom."

She knows how much growth he's made, and she's proud.

"You try to kick my ass, I'll kick yours back. And I'll just follow you down to the beach. I know where you'll go," Max points out, countering so easily.

Max half-snorts. "Indiana is missing a lot of things. But a coastline is a big one."

When Billy talks about the shells, though, she softens. Her eyes drift to the plate.

"Oh. That explains a lot." She licks her lips. "You don't...really talk about her, much. I get it, though." It's not like she talks about her dad all the time. Hell, she hasn't even spoken about her own mom, much, since getting to this place.

"They're special."

He drops the ass kicking thread as the conversation about shells washes over it. He thinks of his mom, calling to him to be careful in the water. Fifteen more minutes to play with worry in her face, in her voice.

"They are. I—" Billy’s expression softens. "I pretty much begged Neil for us to keep them. He was gonna throw them out. Probably did after the whole mall thing. It’s the only thing out in the open in the house that’s related to her."

He breathes in and out. "We shouldn’t talk about this shit if were early celebrating your birthday."

Max opens her mouth to tell Billy, yeah, Neil went on a rampage to toss things out after his death, but she stops. That led to one of those awful fights, after all, as Max couldn't just stand by at that point, and wasn't ready to let go.

Shouldn't be talking about this now is a great way of putting it.

"Yeah, you're right," she shakes her head to dislodge the memories. "Change of topic then." She tries to think of something perhaps a bit more suitable, but her mind does as it likes and her mouth is running off before she can fully catch up with either.

"You know," she looks at Billy with an earnest offer of empathy, "if you like guys, that's okay. You get that, right? I wouldn't go around telling just anyone, but here? At least with me, you can be honest about it."

Wait. Maybe that wasn't the best topic. She shoves cake in her mouth after the words stop tumbling out. She had been wanting to say that since her conversation with Tommy, after all. That small bit had started to fill in some holes with her and now she's quiet, hoping Billy doesn't blow up at her.

Billy feels his foot start to bounce a little - a sign of his nervousness starting to set in. He didn't want to think about his mom and how she left him behind, and everything bad that had come afterwards. This was a little birthday, no need to ruin it.

And then his thoughts slam to a stop as her thoughts just go and spew out. Instantly he stiffens up, foot stops bouncing and he spins a glare at her. "What the hell are you talking about?" It's not supposed to be a defensive tone, but here we are. Defensive.

"I have no idea what the hell you're talking about, Maxine." Yep, defensive if he's bringing out her name without thinking about it.

They do have a track record of ruining perfectly nice moments. To be fair, that might be a trickle down effect of other people doing that first. Max can still empathize with the feeling left behind part.

"What am I talking about? You think you've been so slick it's not noticeable?" He's really not that obvious, and most people might not have picked it up, but Max's brain has been pinging for a while and Tommy's words helped her piece things together, finally.

Billy calls her Maxine, though, and she glares right back. Max tries to keep her tone level when she speaks, regardless.

"Look, William, you don't have to admit it, you don't have to talk about it, either. I'm just letting you know if you want to ever talk about it...."

It was definitely a status quo from the Maygrove family, even with the things they've been through. Billy visibly bristles at the use of his actual birth name, but knows she only did it because he called her by hers.

"I know it's supposed to be okay!" he yells, getting to his feet because he needs to do something and beating someone up wasn't an option here. He was supposed to be better than that by now. Boy does he want to pick her up and just push her against the wall to scare her into dropping the subject though.

Well, being better is still a work in progress as he grabs the collar of her jacket to give her a shake and press her back down into the seat more. It was all defense, all the guard that goes up like spiked walls ready to tear at the person trying to understand Billy's feelings. He hates it because she's right and Billy knows it.

"I can't like them!" he continues with the yelling. Bruises on his arm from being pulled away with too much force. The guy making a hasty retreat as Neil laid into his son for being like that. "I can't—"

It's forever a work in progress, and Max more than understands that, especially when she feels her own temper rise at Billy grabbing her jacket. He can't just scare her into silence, though. Max is no longer as easy to scare. And she can set aside her temper, for a little bit.

"No," Max tells him, firmly, not averting her gaze from Billy's eyes, "you can. You get to feel however you want. But," she shakes her head, "it seems like you're not ready. And that's okay. You don't have to be ready to admit it, ready to deal with it, or ready to talk about it. About why you think you can't."

Her eyes flicker down, and she reaches for Billy's hand, to attempt to remove it from her collar.

"Let me go first." Her eyes lift again.

"I have a date with Lucas when I get back. Or wake up, or whatever happens. I like Lucas." She nods her head as she says that, and hesitates for a beat. "But I like girls, too. And I'm not going to let anyone else control that, or limit myself for anyone else." After all, she has no right to expect him to talk if she doesn't also talk to him, right?

"And I know that's not the same. I'm not saying it is. Just letting you know if you ever get to a point you want to talk, I'm here, and I have a basis for that conversation, because I'm not straight." Max swallows waiting to see how Billy reacts to that. It might be too much for him to process right then.

It always will be, especially since Billy had no idea the time he had in this place. Even aliens couldn't let them cheat death forever. His eyes are bright and wild, almost like an animal with his fury. Max doesn't get it. The Mayfields hadn't been a part of the Hargroves yet, of course she wouldn't get it because she didn't know.

He doesn't get to feel how he wants.

Even if looking at Tommy makes his heart feel like it's surfing on a fast wave.

His hand is hot under hers, the blood pulsing through his body in time with that rage he's trying to keep from turning on her. She knew. Steve knew. Robin knew. Gladio knew. Too many people knew what Billy wrestled with himself because he's not allowed to feel like this. Feeling like this was how he got hurt. His hand falls from her collar as she pulls it free from his grip.

Immediately he stiffens at the idea of her going on a date with that kid. The one whos ass he started to kick before Steve intervened to take the blows. He figures she had some kind of feeling for him. It's her admittance to liking girls that stuns the tension out of his spine and he stares at her.

And stares. Billy's like a deer caught in headlights.

His sister likes girls?

Billy swallows, hard.

He falls back into his pilot seat, just staring at her. Max just knew. So easily. Didn't have to fight everything else in her and just... admitted it. So easy. It almost feels like a lot, but not a lot at the same time. God, it's like the surfing thing with Tommy - it's just all so messy in his head.

She doesn't know, no, but she knows the only one really standing in Billy's way anymore is himself, and the need to heal. Which is more than fine. There's no rush for him to get past that, considering Tommy is refusing anything with Billy, anyway.

And now, if anyone tries to hurt him, they'll find Max standing in the way, and she's willing to be vicious about it.

Her eyes narrow a little when Billy stiffens, but then he falls back in his seat and Max's expression softens out again.

"I'm not going to go around telling just anyone that. And I probably can't tell my mom, for a long while," Max's eyes roll up as she goes over this. "But I knew I could tell Tommy. And I can tell Robin, and Chrissy. Definitely Eddie and Steve. And I knew I could tell you."

A beat. "But I only told you because I was ready to. So...we can just go back to eating cake. In silence. For now." Because Billy has way too much to work through, and she can see that, now, which explains all of his tip-toeing around what was nearly obvious to her.

Billy looks... defeated. Or maybe just tired. It is exhausting, keeping secrets like this, even when people know them so they aren't really secrets anymore. The plate of cake, which he didn't even realize he had set to the side before everything blew up, gets picked back up. The fork gets carefully stabbed into it, but he doesn't take a bite.

In fact, Billy's not even looking at her.

"I tried. Once." More fork stabbing into cake. "Before you and Susan were part of the family."

Another stab.

"Neil was on some job trip or whatever. I think he went to Nevada or maybe Arizona. Whatever, not important." A chunk falls from the cake and his foot starts to bounce. "So I... I had someone over. We didn't even do... do anything. Maybe hands under shirts. But Neil came home early and caught us."

It was so stupid, in retrospect, thinking of doing such a thing in the house. It had been a very hard lesson learned that Billy never touched again. Any feelings he had got smothered out by alcohol or cigarettes after that. Kept smothering them until they didn't matter anymore because he had been possessed.

But now it felt fair. She admitted something to him, and he admitted something back.

Max stops with her fork lifted and her hand just stays here - it's her turn to be stunned.

She doesn't even need to hear the end of that story, because she can imagine where that went, as Max has seen more than enough in regards to that, and it's clear it's hard for Billy to talk about this, so she doesn't ask him to finish. Max won't stop him, though, if he wants to. She's more surprised he admitted anything. Slowly, her eyes lift and she looks at him.

"You do know Neil's just a piece of shit, right? You do get everything he ever did to you was just messed up and wrong? You get that, right?" She does get it's not necessarily that easy to just accept the fact and move on. It's going to take so much time.

She puts her fork down.

"And if anyone tries to hurt you here just for who you are? It's not going to happen. None of us are going to let them."

She's heard and seen so much from Neil going against his son that Billy knows he doesn't need to finish the story. She would know how it ends. He's still not looking at her and his foot is bouncing in that same rhythm.

At some point he's gonna have to harass Tae for more lollipops.

There's a little bit of a smile that's gone in a heartbeat and a foot bounce. "Gladio said the same shit. About not letting anyone hurt me. Like anyone here could," which was a lie and he knew it. Wesker could hurt him. Had hurt him, during the fight Billy picked.

"I know Neil's a piece of shit. He's tied me into so many knots about who I'm supposed to be to be right by him I can't be anything else." Billy couldn't be himself until he worked out all the problems. Maybe that was really what was holding him back from cornering Tommy about everything.

Max can imagine how it ends, and she starts fidgeting with her foot next, partly because Billy is doing it, and partly because the conversation went exactly where she didn't want it to, but maybe it was always going to go here. Just a matter of time.

"That's because we care."

Neil's done so much damage, she curses him mentally, not for the first time, and probably not the last, closes her eyes, and when Max opens them she gets rather intense, again, eyes focused on Billy's. She reaches out to, lightly, place a hand on Billy's arm ( trying to get him accustomed to kind touch ), if he lets her, and with a cleansing sigh, tries again.

"You're stronger than you give yourself credit for. You can. Look at what you've already accomplished. It took time, and it takes help, but you've handled this conversation really well. You will get to a point you can," she shakes her head as she tries to work=d this, "be you. You just need time to get past the damage Neil's left you with. To realize that asshole doesn't get to tell you who you are. He can't control you anymore. And when you get there, I'll be here."

The conversation was going to happen at some point. Easier to let it all out now instead of letting some other things fester after this conversation. He was supposed to be doing better as a brother anyways, and that meant being there, right? Maybe even opening up a little.

His muscles bunch and relax under the touch on his arm. Blue eyes dart down to it, then back up to meet her very focused gaze. Billy can't even tear his own away.

He can feel his face grow a little hot and before he can really do anything to stop it, feels his eyes get wet. No. Billy will not let himself cry. He blinks them back and manages to finally pull his gaze away. Ah shit. One tear streaks down.

"I handled it well because I can't kick your ass without fucking consequences." Consequences that went by various names and most were from Hawkins. If any of them had been in here when he grabbed Max by her jacket, Billy knows he would've been laid out.

Billy finishes off his piece of cake with a hard sniff, then tosses the fork and plate to the side on the console. "I don't know how to work past that knot. Any time I think of liking another guy, I just... I just see Neil and I can't do it. It hurts all over again."

If they really wanted to open up, Max still owes Billy a proper discussion about what happened with Neil after his death and Vecna, but not tonight. Not after this conversation.

She watches the muscles, the intensity, but all that really happens is Billy is nearly crying.

Max cants her head at him and points out, "That wouldn't have stopped you before. You would just mowed down through everyone like a total asshole. You didn't. You still don't see the changes you've made. I do." It was just some jacket grabbing - Max wouldn't have wanted them to get upset over it, and would have gotten involved to calm people down. Escalating those situations isn't going to help, at least, that's her take on it.

She still hasn't gone back to her cake. The ice cream is melting into the cake part, and onto the plate.

"I wish...I wish Neil was here," her jaw tightens, "just so I could punch him in his stupid face. Then you could see he's nothing but a weak, spineless man who bullied everyone around him to fear him. But without that fear, he has no power."

It's hard to see the changes you've made when all you can think of is the mess you still have to clean up, the knots you still have to undo. He tries to move some of the conversation by pointing at her cake. "Can't believe I have to tell you to finish your cake before it gets all over the fucking place."

"If Neil ends up here, I'm first in line to punch him. You get what's leftover after me, then Gladio. Maybe Tommy after that." Because fuck Neil. Fuck everything that man did to his mother, and then to Billy after she left. Billy was like him before coming to Temba. Bullying people into fearing him and his status. "If I ever see him again, which would be here, medical will not be able to save him when I'm done."

Billy would channel all of his fear towards his father into anger, into fury, and he'd kill the man. It was the least he deserved.

That's just how much damage there is to undo in a life post-Neil. Max understands that much.

She frowns at the cake pointing and gives Billy a level - not entirely serious - glare. With an eye roll, she takes a forkful and shoves it in her mouth. Even while munching on it, she huffs out, "Happy now?"

Max at least finishes bit in her mouth and swallows, before she places the fork down, and lifts her hand.

"Deal. He shows up here, he's yours, first. As long as I get the leftovers. I owe him, too." And if he was dead before she even got that chance, well, Max isn't going to complain. Much.

Billy is thankful that Max doesn't have nearly as much shit to work through because of Neil. He's glad she can admit outright that she likes both girls and guys. He's about to remark about it when she gives him some sass and eats cake.

"Yeah. Don't make a mess in my cockpit." Their cockpit.

He takes her hand and gives it a little squeeze. A little shake. Sealing the deal. It almost feels like another truce he has to keep, but he can do this one. Just let Neil show up. He'll by the lone occupant of a cemetery.

Billy keeps his hold on her hand, keeping her there. Those blue eyes fix on hers and he seems... nervous.

"I do," finally comes from him. Then he clarifies. "Like guys." That's strained and whispered. It's been a secret so long that it takes a lot of effort to get the words out. The truth out. Max was the first one he said it outright to. No beating around the bush and people putting the pieces together. No, he's telling her.

Max is thankful for that, too, but her focus is on Billy, at the moment, especially.

"Our cockpit," she wastes no time correcting him on the heels' of Billy's words.

The handshake gets a grin from her, and she shakes his hand back. "Deal, then. No take backs." But her spirited response should make it clear she's not holding him to this one the same way as no violence to her friends, no hitting her, or the expected personal growth. Neil's never going to show up, anyway. He better not, at least.

She's about to take another bite of cake when he says 'I do,' which causes her to stare at him, until - beat - he explains.

Billy didn't have to tell her, is the highlight. She already suspected, and didn't expect him to say it just yet. Max could tell Billy has a lot to work through before he might be ready to say the words out loud. She just wanted him to know she figured it out, and he had a place to go when he was ready. Max just wanted Billy to know she has his back, and she's safe, for all of their struggles and fights.

For a second, Max just stares at him as the fork slips back to her plate.

"Told you," she says, eyes still wide, "you're strong." Stronger than Neil is the unspoken part.

Max leaves her seat to wrap her arms around Billy's shoulders, if he lets her, and just hug him, to give him acceptance to the realization and words.

Right. Their cockpit. Both of theirs. Billy could share.

(Maybe.)

He doesn't have to tell her, but saying it... it helps. Because he's never said it outright before and it loosens one of the knots because it's truth and truth is freeing. It hurts a little, trying to undo that knot, but Billy does it for himself and for Max. They could be safe places for each other because that's what good siblings did, right?

"I'm not as strong as I can be, but I'll get there."

Then she's out of her seat and wrapping around him and Billy lets himself sink a little into it. "Brat," comes the name with some affection in it. Billy lifts his arm to return the hug. He's not going out to proclaim it to everyone, but man. Billy feels free.

(Or, free-er in this case.)

Kids ~ Current Joy

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