revivalproject | Steve Rogers

Entry tags:

Steve Rogers | OTA

WHO: Steve and You?
WHERE: Agrii ship in the water area
WHAT: A pool party!!
WHEN: Around debates time
WARNINGS: Not sure, will edit!

Steve has been trying to get in touch with the Agrii for days now without any luck. So far it's mostly just been hanging out by the water. And a few of them can really hold their breath a long time, it seems. They seem uneasy if he swims too far, so he sticks by the shallower bit of the pool for now.

If nothing else, the lush greenery is a nice change of scenery, and some days there's all this bountiful delicious food, such that he hasn't had better since before arriving here.

So, one day, after fruitlessly searching around by himself and not finding any better leads, he invites a few fellow He-Rows over for what appears to be a pool party. It's open to anyone who happens to make it through the thick botany, and he's definitely trying to encourage the younger Agrii to come play with them. Food and drink are just from the mess hall, and the games are simple ones like a hand-drawn deck of cards, and sitting on each other's shoulders trying to knock off your opponent.

If anyone wants to play that game with him, he'd definitely make a better root than pusher - don't worry, he'll be sure to keep his balance, so long as your character wants to keep playing.

Partway through he gets tasked with going back to get more ice or snacks or something, so feel free to bump into him then or in his yellow speedo (that he most definitely did not pick out himself) and towel, gathering supplies. You'll definitely score an invitation if you ask.

Then, when the 'party' starts winding down, Steve's maybe a little disappointed in not having made much progress, though he's sure a few of the younger Agrii might be coming around to them, so it's not entirely a fruitless endeavor. But he's gotten his hands on a piece of paper and graphite, and he might even ask your character to stand still for a second, as they look really nice under this foliage, and it'll just take a few minutes, if they don't mind.

[ OoC: Feel free to respond to any of the things Steve is doing or throw up your own toplevel so other people can tag you at the 'party'! ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

The unassuming lounge of a very casual sunbather was finally abandoned for Tony to sit up and twist to properly face Tommy, because that was a very serious admission and he did not seem to be aware of it. Tony's friends punched him, repeatedly, and he expected them to do it again, because he deserved it. Tommy must have thought he deserved it, too. Tony offered a hand, laying the other along Tommy's neck to hold his attention as he said again, "Tell me what you did."

Woah, that got intense out of nowhere. What the literal fuck? Okay, logic it out, Shepherd. You have an infinity of seconds before Tony can even blink. Take a pico or two to make sure you understand what he's after. Probably not your jerking off habits. Or the whole age thing because no one seems to get it. So the punching.

Oh.

"Don't make a big deal out of it, please. It was during Calibrations and he was really fucked up. After what I saw in his head I can get it. I didn't see that until that night though. Anyway, he was clearly tense so I tried to get him distracted by destroying the dresser in my room. Hate the scrubs in there, reminds me of super juvie. Anyway, I got him taking his energy out on it because he was so wired because he was relatively new and he got pissed at this picture he drew and balled it up and threw it at me and man, he needed a fucking outlet."

So the dresser, which Tommy hated himself.

"Dude had been possessed by a monster that made him do horrible things and he was just so... You know how it gets. When you need to do something and it just itches up under your skin. Learned his name while he was doing it, decided I didn't want to use 'Billy' because of my brother. Pissed him off, fairly I guess. Probably some trigger from other shit in his past."

His father. Tommy knew it was his father. Had to be. Same was Tommy was over 'Thomas'. Throwing out threats and laying down authority. That was what it was like.

"I sorta just... egged him on. I'm not a good guy without my powers and in confined spaces that remind me of that place. I was in a mood and I needed the distraction too so I needled him in little ways and I deserved getting decked for it. He's never tried again. He was new, he was confused and scared, he was literally coming in from mind possession and his own death, and fucked up, man. Like... Fuck, he wasn't much different from how I was when the others broke me out. He's come so far since then. Never laid a damn hand on me. Grabbed my collar to try and be the big man sometimes, but you know me. He only gets a hand on me when I let him."

One of them had said that this guy was likely going to punch Tommy, and Tony was pretty sure it hadn't been him. Tony was also pretty sure that only one of them cared very much about Tommy right now, and it wasn't the one rambling about how reasonable it was that someone was violent with him. They had to meet somewhere in the middle, about someone that they both cared about, and Tony withdrew his ignored hand in an empty fist to grasp for the obvious. "If I told you that Billy--your brother, the other one, not this--that Billy said that Teddy had been hurting him, you would not be telling me that he 'needed an outlet'," he pointed out. Immediately, he was slashing his hand through the air with a warning glare for all of the reasons Tommy had for that not being a realistic situation, of course Teddy wouldn't do that, blah blah, don't talk. "We can talk about the reason, we can try to deal with it, but it would not be Billy's job to endure it."

It's no one's job to endure it. Tommy knows that. He grew up knowing that better than just about anyone. Which is why this is such a bullshit argument that Tony is making. So why's he making it. The guy is smart, so why is he having so little fucking faith?

"First of all, Billy would destroy anyone who treated him like that so it's a really bullshit argument," Tommy points out. At least make a reasonable argument. "Secondly..."

Well, he could say something quickly, but instead Tommy falls back into the higher speeds he's capable of, trying to think. What's Tony on about right now? Fucking hell. He traces the conversation back and...

Oh.

Okay.

"Tony, my dad was pretty free with his fists growing up. Among other ways of punishing me for basically existing. I would never hang out with someone who would do that shit to me. But I'm lost man. Is all this weird shit because he hit me once the day we met, or because of how I said I thought he might react over a guy liking him?"

Tony must not have known Billy as well as he thought, either, which was what made him hesitate with a frown instead of try slashing his hand again to cut off the argument he had already tried to prune. He only had a vague impression of what Billy was like when he wasn't pulling his punches, and that was mostly a haze beyond a brief stint with a heart attack. He was slow to catch up and take a breath when Tommy did finally work out his second point, clearly forcing himself to focus with a furrowed brow, trying to put aside what he must have been projecting and what he did actually understand about Tommy. They clearly hadn't learned the same lessons from a beating from the old man.

"I guess that depends," he eventually had to admit, "If we have to pick one, which one do you think it's weird that I'm concerned about?" Assuming either situation should be examined in perfect isolation still made them concerning, Tony thought, and meant any other external factors like who was egging on whom should be equally irrelevant. Scientifically.

Honestly, Tommy isn't sure. But if he had to pick one...

"I don't know. I guess it's just weird that you're concerned. Or maybe it's weird that you'd think I'd let it happen. Because I wouldn't. And I don't think he'd actually hit me, if I liked him. But it might destroy our friendship. And that I can't... I don't want that."

And that's something that he felt like kept getting brushed off. Sorta a 'if you lose them then did he care'? And Tommy thinks it would be more like 'you'd lose him because he's afraid that the only reason you care is for his body'. Which isn't true. Even if it's a nice body.

Maybe it was weird that he was concerned. Tony started to take a breath, only to abandon it and slouch back again, arranging himself mechanically back into his magazine cover repose where he could be facing back out over the water. When he was ready to argue, he picked instead, "If he does throw a punch, I don't really care how good his aim is. He could fall over himself in the effort, that doesn't change the fact that his intention was to punch you, like he has before, and like you said he could again, but if you want to talk about what your speed is topping out like lately instead, sure, hit me, give me some numbers. We've cycled back around to, he's not into it, you're not into it, so we can talk about something nobody wants or you can start doing some equations."

Okay, he's still going to think about it, but he nods. Yeah. If the guy does, well, Tommy will respect that point. The other thing though...

"Honestly, I don't know how to do the math to calculate it. I can tell you I've broken the sound barrier before."

Tony snorted a humourless laugh and rolled his eyes, not sure why Tommy was giving up so easily now. Maybe he recognized the validity of the concern, it was just the source he was rejecting. With incredibly steady precision for someone who didn't even seem to be looking at it, he drew the cone of a sonic boom in the sand by his hip, carefully annotating so every reference was clear when he wrote it out as an equation. "I've slept with plenty of people that I care about," he said as he did. "It's not the sex the ruins the relationship, it's the part where you're an asshole."

No, Tony was right. And Tommy hated it. And he didn't want anyone to tell him he was wrong. Which didn't matter because he also wasn't going to be with the guy so it was fine.

"I've tried not to be an asshole," Tommy observes as he looks at the equation. It's not easy for him. He gets this stuff on an instinctual level. But damn, this is complex. "I think it's the part where they don't love me back that ruins it."

The contradiction was obvious enough to Tony that he rolled his focus with a loose tip of his neck Tommy's way, expectant and already peeved like Tommy had just set him up with a lame riddle. "That means you already failed step one," he was the one that had to acknowledge, apparently. "You're an asshole. You pick guys that you think are going to deck you, you can't tell me you're surprised when that's who you get. You can love them with your whole heart, but that means it shouldn't stop when it's not enough to change their wiring. And, here's the thing, your love going in has conditions: it's for a person that he isn't, not yet, so why should he be giving any back?"

"I disagree," Tommy says with a shrug. "Because people never stay the same. People always change. People aren't static. We change. We grow, and are never the same person twice. If we can't care about someone including who they are as they change, then we aren't a good fit."

Surely that makes sense, right?

"What's this factor mean?"

"I'll let you know if you tell me when I gave you the impression that I think anything about the world is static," Tony said, the immediately regretted it because that answer wasn't going to feel any better than being told it was weird for him to express concern for Tommy. He waved it away before he had to hear it, pointing between the equation then its disparate parts on the graph, mumbling about the particle density. "I didn't say anything about not loving him as he changes, I said you're loving a person who doesn't exist, someone who already loves you. That's you ruining it, they didn't do anything."

Tommy sighs. Takes the time, studies the graph and the equation. Tries to right some figures out, but the math is probably wrong.

"I don't know that I love him. I do like him. I just know I shouldn't. So it is me who is ruining our friendship. I just..."

He's thoughtful.

"I don't know, man. But thank you. Because everyone else just goes 'the age thing is stupid' and they don't point out the other problems."

At least SOMEONE is pointing out that what Tommy's feeling is wrong. Sure it's new arguments for it, but it helps.

"Thank you," he says, and he sounds sincere.

Maybe if Tony knew how to handle that thanks more gracefully, he wouldn't have to argue, "The age thing is stupid." In fact, he thought it was stupid enough that they had swiftly moved passed it and it wouldn't occur to either of them again. He opened his hand in disbelief to express this. "You already said you were his best friend. If that imbalance is so significant, you should back off, let him connect with someone his own age so his brain can develop or whatever it is you're concerned about. You've already crossed that boundary."

Oh come the fuck on. Tommy groans so much at the frustration that he tilts his head back. Like groaning out to the whole universe because someone just fucking stop this cycle.

"Dude, you just slippery sloped at me. Logical fallacy."

"What slope?" Tony demanded. "You said you were his best friend. It's just as weird for some middle-aged fella to be best friends with a fifteen year old as it is to try to get her naked. Friends, sure, they could have plenty in common, they could be doing math on the beach together. Best friends? You're the adult in that relationship then, of course he thinks you're the cool older guy giving him attention."

Shit. He used the wrong fallacy. Stupid man. Fuck.

"Dude, he doesn't think I'm cool," Tommy promises, because he's laughing. "Not even by half. It's damn frustrating."

So far, it sounded like this guy didn't like Tommy much at all, making Tony a little slower to smirk along and counter than usual. He was back to calculating what this punishment could possibly be for. He had to venture, "Have you even met? Who has he been talking to?" and maybe it didn't sound so calculated when he finished, "What does he think about you?"

"Nah, we've met," Tommy says with a smile.

As for what Billy thinks about him... Well...

"He trusts me," Tommy says, and he sounds a little impressed by that. "That's not a small thing with guys from our background I guess. And lets me see him vulnerable or take care of him. He respects me enough to learn to not use certain terms, like mutie, or freak. Smiles for and at me, and given he seems to be a grump, that's probably something. And..."

Should he? He's not sure.

"There was this... I don't know. This moment."

That was unexpected. After everything else that Tommy had to say about this guy and what Tommy apparently deserved, Tony was more prepared for another wave of self-deprecation and how nobly Billy had resisted punching him at other times that he had been annoying. With his eyebrows raised, Tony could only echo, "A moment."

"Dude's had a bad life, and it's familiar to me. So since I knew his birthday was coming up I decided to make it good. Found a place to take him surfing, picked a place out for food, asked my brother to magic up an ice cream cake."

And got him a gift that he'd seen Billy wearing ever since. But yeah, it's a whole thing.

"We ended up wrestling in the surf a bit and he got me pinned. And he looked at me, and for a moment I thought... I really don't know. Thought maybe for a moment he was looking at me different. And then he just distanced himself and all of that."

Tony narrowed his eyes as Tommy explained, pretty sure he would describe most of that more like 'a carefully orchestrated private dinner and wet grinding session' than 'moment', but maybe time worked for Tommy differently enough that isolating someone for their birthday like that really felt impulsive. Did time also work like that for Billy, up until the point that it sounded like he noticed? After a beat, the only rational response that Tony could have was repeating, "You should send him flowers," flatly like they hadn't already gone entirely in circles over the very suggestion.

Oh come the fuck on! Tommy groans and buries his face in his hands. It's a really exasperated noise, okay?

"I promise you I can't do that. Maybe he's not afraid of gay dudes. Maybe his step-sister keeps making it sound like there's no way he's as straight as he claims. Doesn't matter. He's NOT the sort of guy that you get flowers for. I'm the sort of guy you get flowers for. Apparently. The sorts that have multiple uses so that you can eat them or something."

That noise was fully undeserved, and Tony protested with pursed lips and both hands spread open to receive any indication that it was his fault for being right this whole time. Tommy definitely wasn't producing any strong arguments, instead seemed to be debating for the wrong side. It wasn't that Billy was homophobic now, and it wasn't even that he was straight, and it couldn't be the age, it was just the broadly appealing choice of gift that Billy happened to not be impressed by. Tony complained, "Sure, it's my fault that I don't know your boyfriend's tastes intimately enough. Stay here, I'll go blow him, then we'll both be ready for this conversation."

Steve Rogers | OTA

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cw: discussion of child abuse (again)

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