I'm headed for a breakdown (OTA)

[crystalmaster]

WHO: Radley and anyone, everyone
WHERE: The Warrens
WHAT: What he's up to
WHEN: Throughout August
WARNINGS: Hurt/Comfort, emotional meltdown. CW for prompt 2: Memories of being a prisoner and tortured by whipping and shock collar

1. Bruised and Battered (Arrival)

Radley is one of the last to arrive, due to trying to gather as many food supplies as possible. He keeps a cool head and tries to be a leader in getting everyone into the Warrens. Somewhere along the way, either outside or in the tunnels, he was hurt. His side throbs from a painful bruise, but he tries his hardest to conceal that. There's way too much going on and too many other things to worry about than him being hurt in a minor way, or that's how he thinks of it. He waits until he's sure everyone is getting settled in the Warrens before slipping off to be in pain alone. He lifts up the edge of his shirt, studying the bruised skin with a wince before lowering it again. He will keep trying to hide it unless he's caught here.


2. Not the Mines (Sometime in August)

No one likes being stuck down there, but the more they're stuck, the more Radley is heading for a meltdown. Underground, twisting tunnels, stranded ... it makes him think of the mines, even though it's not. It doesn't help that they really traveled through mines to get here. He always tries to put his mind to something else when those thoughts crop up. He doesn't have time for them.

But the truth is, he has a lot of time. There's not much to do aside from making food and he doesn't care to explore much when it brings up painful memories. Still, since there isn't much to do, he ends up wandering sometimes anyway.

One evening it just sort of hits him all at once and he sinks to his knees in some unknown corridor, shaking and hugging himself. "It's not the mines," he whispers. "It's not...."

But he keeps having a quiet meltdown anyway. He's been holding it back for too long and he finally sinks against the wall with a sob. He can still feel the whip on his back, hear the sizzle of the shock collar and feel the electricity coursing through his body. He never really had a chance to deal with the emotional fallout from that before being pulled from his world, and now he's crying and can't seem to stop.

Why? Why was I left behind? Why didn't anyone try to rescue me ... until it was almost too late....

He never understood. He still doesn't understand.

Maybe he was undeserving of rescue. Maybe he was supposed to suffer. Some blamed him for the mess in town, at least partially. Malcolm had been the one allowing torture of the miners, and Radley had been trying to stop him from fully taking over the town, but any time his Duelists had lost, they had ended up in Malcolm's mine.

Maybe he had been too greedy, even though his ultimate goal had been to protect the town. Maybe that was why he had been left behind and forgotten by everyone. Maybe it had only been just.

Here on this alien world, away from everyone in his home world, he still can't get any answers. But he still wants them. And he can't seem to stop the haunting memories from plaguing him.

Comments

[crystalmaster]

Radley smiles and hugs back. "You do.

"Thanks."

He wonders how it will be when he goes home and really has to face it all again.

[ziedrich_bearer]

Good guy, enjoying the hug. That's the right choice.

"You know, you're really valued here, right?"

[crystalmaster]

Radley blinks in definite surprise. "I am?" He has never been sure of the overall feeling, although he knows of some who appreciate him.

[ziedrich_bearer]

Hey, Gladio's maybe better than most at figuring out who is doing what, even if it isn't fully seen.

"Keep us in good food, and we need that. Good eating is important to morale."

[crystalmaster]

Radley smiles a bit. "I'm not the only one working the diner, but thanks. I agree about good food."

[ziedrich_bearer]

"You make better food," Gladio says. He appreciates bringing in his meat for people to eat. Guy's been doing great.

[crystalmaster]

Radley smiles more at this. "Really? Well, thank you. I do pride myself on providing delectable dishes."

[ziedrich_bearer]

"Yeah, Ignis was like that too. Sometimes you show you care by making sure the world is fed."

And that needs to be enough every now and then. That needs to be accepted every now and then.

[crystalmaster]

Radley looks a bit wistful. "Yeah.... Sometimes that's all I've been able to do.... But I know that's important. People've gotta eat."

He blinks. "Ignis? Is that a friend from home?

[ziedrich_bearer]

"Yeah," Gladio says. He was a friend from home. But now he was happy to get on his feet.

"But you can do more than that. We'll work on it. Together. WE're all a team."

[crystalmaster]

Radley doesn't pry when the subject quickly switches away from Ignis.

He smiles wanly again. "I'd like to believe I can, anyway. It's nice ... to be part of a team."

[ziedrich_bearer]

"Damn right," Gladio laughs. He was raised for that. Part of a team, capable of operating alone.

"Like spaghetti."

[crystalmaster]

"Spaghetti is like a team?" Radley chuckles.

[ziedrich_bearer]

"Yeah. Harder to break it in half the more of it you have."

[crystalmaster]

"Oh, dry spaghetti. Yeah, that's true," Radley muses.

[ziedrich_bearer]

Gladio laughs because he thought he was being clear enough on that. But apparently not. Oh well, he can't be flawless.

"It's like sticks too. They do an arrow metaphor back home, but I like the spaghetti one. Because the spaghetti isn't ruined when it's broken up, unlike an arrow. You can keep going. Still serve a purpose."

[crystalmaster]

Radley had pictured spaghetti and meatballs. But he's heard the metaphor before and if his mind had been more clear, he's sure he would have got it.

"Yeah, the spaghetti one is nicer in that sense."

[ziedrich_bearer]

"And you can do so many good sauces with it," he says with a grin. Sounds good, right?

[crystalmaster]

"Oh yeah," Radley smirks. "And cheese."

[ziedrich_bearer]

Oh, cheese. He grins and nods at that. Sounds amazing.

"Been a while since I had something like that."

[crystalmaster]

"Hopefully we can correct that soon," Radley says. "Any meal is better with it."

[ziedrich_bearer]

They really are. He smiles and nods.

"Guess we need a source of cheese. But that will. Have to wait until after this."

[crystalmaster]

"Yeah. I wasn't able to bring much cheese down here," Radley sighs.

[ziedrich_bearer]

"Alas," Gladio says with a grin. "Come on. Let's start heading back. I bet I can help you figure out some other ideas for what to do while we're down here."

[crystalmaster]

"Oh?" Radley smiles. "I could certainly use some ideas."