revivalproject | Calibrations- I want out

Entry tags:

Calibrations- I want out

Who: Billy Kaplan & Open
What: Calibrations
When: June 10th to July 10th
Where: Calibrations
Warnings: Depression, Torture, Bullying, Dark Themes in general due to his punishment

Those who have been inside Billy's mind before will find this set up...different. Whether influenced by the punishment he seems to be facing, or just the dread and anxiety he feels being tricked back into this place he was tortured before-(editors note: see however the hell long ago when Billy was lured down here alone, and tortured with memories until his magic created a whole other reality for a moment. fun times.)- it has clearly gotten to him.

The room is either some sort of prison or torture chamber, maybe both? Built from metal, there's rusty stains, and...is that blood? Billy is strapped up the wall, devices skewered through his ears and he's muttering spells under his breath, eyes squeezed shut tight.

There's a tray of bloody surgery tools left on a near by table, scattered files strewn about (is that a S.H.I.E.L.D. logo? That might be familiar to some...) There's an access panel by the door with a black screen, but currently any codes typed in won't open it up.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Billy foot jerks- or tries to, eyes opening to see his brother, and there's a guilty look on his face.

"...They only block me," he answers, voice having a strange quality to it. "We can just wait it out."

At least they both understand what is going on here. It makes this easier.

"Is that what you want, B?"

He might go crazy if he has to stay here for an hour. This was just... a reminder of how he'd failed Billy that day.

"I dunno if there's anything you're going to want to see-" he warns, knowing either is going to be a struggle for his brother.

"...I can't believe I'm back here. I'm so fucking stupid..."

"You're not stupid," Tommy hisses angrily. No one gets to call his brother stupid. Especially not his brother. Even when he was stupid. Which Tommy would call him. Okay, so Tommy got to call Billy stupid, but no one else.

"You saw it too, right? The Agrii that said we were going to go home? That's reasonable to fall for."

"And I saw this...place," Billy hisses back, angry with himself. They did something to him- he knows that much at least- to get him to agree, but still...he saw this was where they were taking him, and he willingly walked inside.

Tommy had barely even seen it. He'd felt...

"I hate this place too. Not as much as you," he says softly. He moves to lean against the wall.

"I should have been smarter and kept us out here."

Shaking his head is as much comfort as Billy can offer in the moment. It's not on Tommy. "...not your job," he manages, trying to swallow down his panic.

Wasn't it though? This was the place on this world that was hardest on Billy. He had to be better.

"Pretty sure protecting each other is absolutely our jobs. But there isn't much I can do about it now. So I need to get you out of this memory sooner."

He sighs, likely heavier than he realizes, but nods his reluctant consent. Billy's chest is all ready tight, and he tries to take a few calming breaths before Tommy pulls them into some distressing memory.

Tommy reaches up to touch Billy's hip in what he hopes is a comforting manner. He knows it probably isn't.

"Direct me, genius."

"...there's a code for the door somewhere," he offers, not really sure himself, clearly. "I don't know, Tommy. I don't know what you're supposed to do."

Fair enough. Sometimes people seem to know. With a sigh he pushes off of the wall and goes to look around. A security code, huh?

Well, the most obvious place in his mind is amid those folders. Shield, after all, were the ones that did this to Tommy. He flips one open at random.

The room shifts to a memory of the Kaplan's place. Billy clearly in the midst of his depressive state, stubble on his face and a blank look on his face as he sits in the dark and looks out the window. He doesn't outwardly react to Tommy's appearance, but he does give a small sigh, like he's aware of the presence.

"...what do you want?"

He recognizes this place. He recognizes this time. He wants to scream and shout and shake Billy because he doesn't want to see his brother like this.

Granted that was exactly how he'd felt on that day too. Left behind and powerless to solve shit.

"A gorgeous, bikini clad babe to feed me grapes while I lounge on a private beach," he says because he said it then. "Or, I don't know. To save the fucking world."

Billy tries to smile. He really does. The corner of his mouth lifts faintly, but it's about all he can manage. He feels...numb. Numb in a way he can't begin to describe, and he blinks slowly, not able to manage the performance of being 'Billy', as much as he knows it would make his brother happy.

"I'm not stopping you."

Billy's numb. Tommy had wanted to rage against the world. He still did.

"Yes you are. How the fuck am I supposed to save the world alone?"

"...Tommy, I can't." If he'd just left things alone, just been happy with what he had-

Billy shakes his head. "You don't need me."

Yes, he could. Tommy wants to scream he could. Why can't he just fight for what he wanted to?

"You're right," he says, and it's such a lie. He needs nothing in this world more than he needs Billy. Wanda won't see him, Vision isn't around, the team fell apart, his best friends Cassie and Jonas are dead, and Teddy's trying to keep it together. Even Eli moved.

Tommy is going crazy.

"I don't need you. I don't need any of this shit," he keeps lying. This, he remembers, is the day. The one where he leaves. Because after his frustration here Mrs. Kaplan gets on him to talk about his own feelings and needs and how he's doing in light of how Billy is and Tommy could not take it anymore. It all hurt too much.

Not for the first time he had run away from what might have been home otherwise.

Billy's expression hardly shifts, like he hasn't heard him, and he blinks numbly, but there's a wetness in those eyes. He wants to scream. Wants to cry. Wants to do something to release all of this from inside him. He feels like he's trapped inside his own mind.

It's probably better at least, he thinks, if Tommy and Teddy leave him then they won't be dragged down into this. They won't get killed by his mistakes. They'll all be happier if he just disappears.

Billy doesn't say any of this, his head just rolls limply to look out the window.

Of course he doesn't. Tommy scoffs in frustration and then takes off in a burst of speed. And Tommy of how hates himself for not saying any of the things that came to mind then. It had been so fucking messed up to just leave on those words.

No wonder Billy wanted nothing to do with him.

Those tears don't fall until after Tommy's sped out, the memory fading away and leaving the brothers back in the room.

Billy looks uncomfortable, and wets his lips, still not sure how to explain the mental state he was in. "...I'm sorry."

Tommy is glowing and flings the memory object away from him.

"I didn't mean any of that, Billy. I wasn't okay either, and I needed you. And I hate what I said to you, what I did."

He's so angry, and his eyes are stinging with tears.

"I didn't mean any of it."

"No, it's- it's okay. Really. I- we were ALL going through it," Billy acknowledges, "I should've said something. Or- you know...actually dealt with my shit sooner."

"You were sick!" Tommy counters. So no, it wasn't entirely his fault. And maybe Rebecca should have done more. She was the one most equipped for it.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Calibrations- I want out

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

Oh fuck. I love this idea. Just Tommy playing into the memory?

<3 yes

no subject

no subject

no subject

cw srs depression/detachment

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject