Do you wanna feel how it feels?

[the_freak]

Who: Eddie Munson, Billy Hargrove, Steve Harrington
What: Max is gone...
Where: The hotel
When: Early in the month, soon after Max disappears
Warnings: Violence, TBD



Sitting in Max's room, Eddie sighs, cursing and scanning over the list again. As though her name will have reappeared since he last rechecked. He wanted to see for himself before bringing it up to Steve, but now that he's looked around and proven to himself she isn't here...he feel overwhelmed. There's grief, there's fear- and god- how the hell is he supposed to tell Steve? And what about Hargrove? Worrying about the others at least lets him distance himself for the time being.

He picks up the tape player he'd stolen for her, flicking it open and seeing his custom mix tape still inside. Before he can get too emotional about that he shuts it and shoves it into his pocket.

Comments

[the_freak]

"...You two are freaks," Eddie notes, giving an exasperated shake of his head, but smiling despite himself.

"She might come back," he offers, not sure, obviously, but he's heard stories from others. "If she does you can show her how you've been trying. And she's got you back there, Steve. You're gonna keep her safe."

[playingtough]

More things get realized and Billy understands that he really hates right where he is at the moment. Once he leaves here, he'll be alone in his grief, to try and get past Max's sudden departure like he had to learn to deal with his mother doing the same all those years ago. The two currently sitting on the bed have each other to work through it.

Billy has no one and he knows it's only himself to blame for it. He rolls onto his side, gritting his teeth tight (and wishing he had Tae's towel to bite into) as he does so. More laughter, high and tight with a hand throwing the warm cloth over his face. It doesn't help at all.

"I'm supposed to keep her safe. And I can't do that anywhere. I die doing it back in Hawkins and she's ripped away from me before I can even try to be fucking better here!" Because she's gone, the only piece of his current family that he likes, even if he's been horrid at showing it. Billy has no idea what her life is like after he passes. The laughter turns into sobs. When was the last time he had actually done anything aside from anger and arrogance?

[farrahfawcetts]

Billy breaking into sobs is enough to stun Steve. His mouth opens in surprise and he glances over at Eddie before looking back at the blonde. What was he supposed to do right now? Billy is a bully and a menace and is dangerous. But right now he just looks sad. Sad and grieving. The humanity of such a response breaks the mental view of him being nothing but a monster.

Steve isn't about to go closer to him, but he at least relaxes his tensed muscles. It's a ceasefire at the very least.

"Dude...being "better" isn't something you can do for someone else. Trust me, I tried. Until you're doing it for you, it's just not going to stick. Maybe...maybe Max leaving will help you do that. So if she comes back, you've already done the work without her needing to help you along."

[the_freak]

Dude... Eddie blanches a little, and instinctively looks away from the show of vulnerability, sharing that look with Steve and giving a very lost gesture, likewise not sure what to do.

"...you meant a lot to her," he offers, "You guys clearly had some...sibling issues or whatever, but, uh- she seemed real shook up about loosing you..."

[playingtough]

Hard to be dangerous when Steve might've given him a concussion and laid him out on the floor for hitting his healing wounds. Everything hurts and he prays it's not bad enough to have to go back to the hospital. Tae might actually kill him for wrecking all the work she put into not letting him die.

He hears Eddie and Steve, but it feels distant. He feels hollow, like he had in his room so many years ago with the phone up to his ear. Billy figures Max always sort of hated him. And then the way she looked and spoke to him in the sauna room, that locked door between them. The Californian knew she didn't, not entirely.

"Yes it is. If I can be better for someone else... I can be better for everyone else, too." Which included himself. Maybe.

[farrahfawcetts]

"If you do it for someone else...then shit like this happens. The person leaves and now what? You don't know what to fucking do. Or, worse, you let someone else make you worse. You do it for you or you don't do it at all. Believe it from someone who did that shit himself."

He looks at Eddie, sympathizing with how awkward he must be feeling. He lets out a soft exhale and extends an olive branch.

"Everyone in this room loves Max. And we all fucking hate that she's gone. So... I guess let's not disappoint her by killing each other. She loves us, too. All of us."

[the_freak]

It feels strange to be included in Steve's assurance that Max loved them all. Hargrove was family. Obviously. And Steve's as good as a brother to her. But he's just...her drug dealing neighbor. He swallows a bit thickly and rubs at his nose, giving an uncomfortable nod as his emotions threaten to overwhelm him.

"She'd kick our asses. And Red scares me more than you," he ads with a small grin.

[playingtough]

"Says the guy that threatened to kill me if the assholes that keep us here send Eddie home," he mutters aloud. Billy could be Steve's scapegoat here in the city, he presumes. He wonders if Steve would've kept going if Eddie hadn't been here. Would he have acted like Billy and kept going until the blond passed out?

Just the talk of Max actually... loving the three of them is enough to bring up silent tears again. Just knowing she did love him despite everything made things feel a little lighter. Billy doesn't move from his spot on the floor. Everything aches too much to do that right now.

"I'm going to be better, and that started with being a better step-brother to her. Not just being good in general for her." It was supposed to be that start, which was always the hardest part. Now it was ripped away from him and he'd have to find a different starting point.

[farrahfawcetts]

Steve glances at Billy when he says that but doesn't quite retract his threat. If Eddie leaves... If he is taken... Steve is just not sure what he'll do in that situation. But it won't be anything good.

"How about you start with keeping your hands off Eddie, huh?" He can't help but snap a little. He'd seen Eddie get thrown to the floor and part of him still wanted to punch Billy a few times for it. "He didn't do shit to deserve it."

[the_freak]

"I mean- we're all talking about her like she's dead. She's back home. She's good," Eddie says softly, "The three of us are tough enough to keep it together..."

"I was totally about to turn things around," he dismisses with a small smirk, trying to keep things light, but he does lean covertly into Steve's space, sharing a grateful look.

[playingtough]

"Like I said, I thought he was stealing. That's what it fucking looked like when I walked in." Billy wasn't moving on that because it was a fact. Like the fact that he doesn't know how to deal with the waves of anger when they rush through him like a storm.

Billy stiffens on the floor, still not really moving to sit up or move. It feels like it would provoke Steve and he's just... he can't... the wind got knocked out of his sails with that punch to the gut, with the fact that Max was gone. "She's not dead," he spits out, sliding his gaze to glare at Eddie through the strands of curls.

"...As long as she's safe." Because he doesn't know. Of course he wouldn't. Billy knows that he's dead when she's from.

He finally decides to chance it and works his way up into sitting. Billy's face is wet, both from the tears and that stream of blood that's finally stopped from his nose. The bruising on his face is bright, a stark contrast to his California sun-kissed skin.

"...I want her walkman." That tone gives no room for argument, or for compromise.

[farrahfawcetts]

"Well maybe ask a fucking question before throwing a punch." Rich considering what he'd just done a second before, but still. He'd been responding to the violence against Eddie. It's different, shut up.

At both Eddie and Billy being so sure that Max is safe, Steve feels guilt drop heavy on his shoulders. He looks away, down at the floor so he doesn't give anything away with his expression. Neither of them need to know that Max could have returned to a coma or worse. He can hold that information to himself.

"Give him the walkman, man," Steve surrenders, stroking Eddie's arm as reassurance. "If that ends this shit, then good." He looks Billy over and sighs. "You might also wanna see the hospital people or whatever. I didn't mean to hit you in like some wound or whatever. Don't die just because you're too macho to get a bandaid."

[the_freak]

"He did, technically," Eddie notes. Not that Eddie thinks any response would've got him out of taking a bit of a beating.

Eddie'd obviously wanted it for himself, and he frowns faintly, but considers their relationship and nods. Not that Hargrove's asking exactly. That's her brother though, he should get first dibs. "It's all one song," he warns, just so he's not surprised by that fact later.

[playingtough]

"I did," he agrees with a hollow laugh. "I asked what he was doing, and where Max was." How ironic that Steve was telling Billy to ask first and then hit later seeing as that's exactly what he had done when he came in to sock Billy in the face.

He snorts at the remark to go to the hospital. "I'll be fine. I got patched up well enough, but it's all fucking tender. You try getting skewered by the Mind Flayer bullshit and see if you feel fine after a couple of weeks." Billy removes his shirt and starts checking the multiple bandages. No evidence of blood, but the skin where Steve punched him is an angry red from irritation. "I'm not gonna die like a little bitch from some punching."

He'll just complain like one for a little bit.

Satisfied that everything's still in place, the shirt gets pulled back on and settled. He relaxes a little, eyes set on the wall before sliding to the walkman on the bed. A hand goes out and makes a 'gimmie' motion for it. He is not getting up and risking Steve taking advantage of him being wounded for another fight.

[farrahfawcetts]

Steve rolls his eyes and grabs the walkman to put it into Billy's open hand. His wounds don't look like he's gonna die so that at least is a comfort. Steve doesn't like him but didn't want to seriously injure him.

"There. Now just. Hands off, alright? Counts for all of us. No fighting or shoving around or shit like that. This is a truce for Max. Deal?" He looks at Billy, clearly trusting him the least, but also nudges Eddie with his elbow.

"Today was the last of it. We're all gonna be good."

[the_freak]

"The Mind Flayer's the big one, right?" Eddie asks, trying to remember all the different Vecna hivemind creatures he's heard of but not seen. "Is it the one made of dust?"

He flinches a little at Steve's nudge, "Hey, I'm the only one who hasn't thrown punches today. I'm all ready the good one. Fine, deal. Truce."

[playingtough]

"The one in the mall," is added, to help Eddie. Billy doesn't know about the dust part though. He knows how it invaded his mind, made him do things that are worse than anything the blond has ever done.

He takes the walkman and sets it in his lap for the moment while Steve calls for a truce between them. The instinct in him wants Billy to snap and say no, but he shouldn't. There wasn't anyone to back him up here, not like he had in Hawkins before he got dragged into the Steelworks building.

He holds out his right hand towards Steve. Billy wants to at least shake on it. "I... will try." Because he does want to be better, for as long as he's allowed to live here before being sent home. But there's a lot to undo, but he wants to at least try.

[farrahfawcetts]

Steve rolls his eyes but gets up from the couch to take Billy's hand in a weak shake. "Yeah, yeah. You're gonna try. Try real hard, Hargrove. I really don't like getting beat up or doing the beating up. Being here is sort of a break from all that shit. I'd like to keep it that way."

He goes back to the bed and sits beside Eddie again. With the adrenaline worn off all he has now is the pain and grief he was fostering before. The loss of Max weighing on him. Steve leans into Eddie just ever so slightly. With Billy here he doesn't want to expose anything he can be taunted for.

[the_freak]

"Right, right. The 'not a mall fire'. Seriously, I wonder how much of Hawkin's history is just random cover up bullshit."

Eddie watches them shake, and makes a show about leaning forward to shake as well. Sitting up again he feels Steve lean in, and without looking over the hand resting on the bed between them gives Steve a little nudge to show his comfort in mixed company. He doubts this truce will go over well if there's even the slightest hint in the air that they've done anything. Even if it's just fooling around. Even if Steve's still probably totally/mostly straight.

[playingtough]

"Jesus." A scowl. "Is that what they were calling it? A mall fire? God Hawkins is the worst." His own grip on Steve's is firm - not to the point of being painful, but not weak. Billy means it saying he was going to attempt to be better.

It takes longer than usual, but Billy manages to get to his feet with a hiss and stretches as much as he dares. A rub to his midsection, then up to gently feel out the bruise left in the shape of Steve's fist on his face. It's fully formed now and Billy wonders if it's worth going to get ice from the diner. If they even had any.

The other hand holds the walkman carefully. Like Billy's afraid his strength would break it. "Think the alien shitheads that brought us here would bring me some tapes from home if I asked?" It's a joke, but it probably comes across too serious to be one.

[farrahfawcetts]

"Honestly? Probably most of it in the last few years," he answered Eddie with an apologetic smile. The small nudge makes that smile more genuine. More fond as he sneaks a small glance over at the guy. Looking back toward Billy, he tries to keep it on his face. Truce and all, right? He needs to make an effort here, too. At least for Max.

"You could ask. Honestly I have no idea what you'd receive from them. I've heard horror stories from people asking the Aggro or Agora or whatever the fuck they are for shit. They take it pretty literally. You'll probably get like scotch tape or something like that. Or if you ask for Heart, you might actually get a heart. So. Good luck."

[the_freak]

"Replicator," Eddie advises, "You can even get some music from future albums if you try." Which was an amazing discovery.

[playingtough]

Watching them out of the corner of his eye, Billy feels like he should leave. What was it called, being a third wheel? He had spent plenty of time making others feel like said third wheel now he knew how it felt. But he keeps it to himself for now, instead, listening to the suggestions as he turns over the walkman in his hands gently.

It was probably impressive that Billy Hargrove knew how to do anything gently in the first place.

"Rather than what I know from my stereo." Metallica, Scorpions, those kinds of bands. "Something at least familiar." Briefly, he wonders what Max was listening to. Munson said it was only one song.

[farrahfawcetts]

"Wait, what?" Steve apparently hasn't heard about this discovery yet. It's enough to push everything else out of his mind for a moment. "Seriously? We can get music from the future? Holy shit. I wouldn't even know what to ask for. You think ABBA came out with anything new? Ooh, Whitney Houston was pretty great. Just getting started. I bet she has a ton I could find. And Heart and Tears for Fears are never going away..."

He beams, thinking about all the music he might now have open to him. "This can be a real good time..."

[the_freak]

"You can go through my tapes if you want," Eddie offers, knowing they have fairly similar taste, at least with what he's heard coming from that pretty car of his.

"And yeah- I mean- at least up to whenever the Replicators are from I guess, but they're pretty far in the future." He snorts, groaning a little at Steve's top choices, but he nods, "Yeah, I guess they probably would. Heart I can get behind. The rest you're gonna have to enjoy solo."