No Mario but Definitely Sonic at the Agra 10 Dork Olympics 2023 (& Knuckles)

[spinsandneedles]

WHO: Sonic & OPEN to whoever wants to deal with Sonic
WHERE: Sports Day!!!!
WHAT: Sports and Sports Accessories
WHEN: When Sports
WARNINGS:Excessive Sports

Balloon Pop

A random day of quasi-sports is probably the last thing Sonic expected to encounter after being abducted by aliens, but here we are. Definitely weird, but at least their abductors are trying to keep them entertained? Might as well roll with it and see where it goes.

He'd have an unfair advantage over most people when it came to competitions involving going fast, so he decides to branch out a bit and do some things that might use skills that he hasn't already mastered. BUT THEN, he comes across the balloon popping game and decides it would be funny to see how fast he can pop them by just curling into a ball, sitting in one place, and letting the balloons idly come into contact with his quills. See, that way it's testing his patience more than his speed, patience counts as a skill and it's one that he's kind of terrible at. Either way it proves to be a surprisingly effective balloon popping strategy, but eventually there are just a few balloons left and he does have to roll around a bit to get to them.

So. Yeah, there's a little blue spike ball covered in glitter and balloon scrap rolling around the balloon zone. Nothing weird to see here, kids. He might need help getting all the balloon scraps out of his quills when he's done.

Climbing Wall

Of course he could just run up and down the wall like it's no big deal, but where's the challenge in that? He's gonna climb this wall the way climbing walls are meant to be climbed! Which turns out to be no simple feat since a lot of the hand holds are juuust a bit out of reach for such a small dude. He can manage if he hops for some of them, but he is not progressing up the wall very quickly.

Of course, he's willing to cheat just to show up anyone else he catches cheating, he can't help that competitive streak.

Prizes

As Sonic really doesn't have any super important items from home, and hasn't taken an interest in any ot the other prizes available (Clothes?? What's he gonna do, wear pants??), he's literally just giving his points away. While taking a lunch break, he's seated on a table (Yes ON a table. Are there tables? There are now.), trying to figure out why his pizza bagel things taste like peanuts and occasionally waggling a plastic cup full of chits at people as they pass by.

"Yo, free prize point thingies! I don't really need 'em."

The chits he's giving away are mostly low value, maybe a few medium and high value depending on what games he inevitably gets pulled into. He's not really keeping track.

Whatever else

He's not super interested in team sports for himself, but if he can help other people win prizes, then he'd be happy enough to join in if asked. Three legged race might be a bit awkward? But y'know, YOLO. He's fast, he can be anywhere. Literally he's just zooming around the place looking around.

Comments

[doubled_speed]

Nah, this is the literal one person on the planet he doesn't need to be slow around. Don't ask him to do it.

"Agrii have a thing for peanut butter. When they provide food, it often tastes like that. And I run the diner. I cook some, but other people do too. It's good stuff."

[spinsandneedles]

In fact, GO FASTER.

"Ugh. Ah well, I guess it's the thought that counts?"

Free food is free food, even if it's all nutty and weird.

"So, you said you run the diner? Do we have to like grow all of our own food, or do the Agrii leave stuff lying around?"

[doubled_speed]

Faster works. It's something only they could do, and he was willing to embrace it.

"You should try the burgers that taste like peanut butter. They were a nice change for from the peanut butter and peanut butter sandwich."

But he gestures in the vague direction of the greenhouse.

"Me and others manage the greenhouses. There's harvesting and preserving, and we cook too. The replicators can do some stuff, but yeah, it's all grown or hunted here. I basically started with that the moment I got here, because I need so much more food. So it just became, well, the thing I do."

[spinsandneedles]

"At least peanut butter and peanut butter is supposed to taste like peanut butter. I'll pass on the burgers, thanks."

Honestly he'll probably pass on anything peanut related for the rest of his life at this point. Anyway, greenhouse!

"Ah, crazy metabolism, huh? I feel that. Y'know, honestly it's probably for the best that this place is so self sufficient. I don't get the feeling that the Agrii are bad, but relying on them just doesn't seem like a great idea. All of this just feels too unpredictable."

[doubled_speed]

Yeah, Tommy thought so. He chuckles. As for the rest of it, he nods.

"They're sorta like kids. I think part of why we're here is to teach them. They definitely aren't people who are meant to be in space. It's pretty bad, what the Atroma did to them."

[spinsandneedles]

"It really does suck, yeah. I'm not really sure what all we can actually teach them, though? Or maybe that's just me not being sure what I should actually be doing here yet. I dunno, normally when I get stuck in some kinda weird situation like this, it's pretty obvious what I need to do."

Usually that amounts to 'go fast and break lots of robots'.

[doubled_speed]

"How to be people?" Tommy suggests. That seems to be a useful plan to have at least. Not that he'd expected the most out of that.

"You could explore. Hell, we could. I haven't gone as far as I can because I've been worried no one could help if I got in trouble."

[spinsandneedles]

"So basically, just keep doing what I do. Got it." Have fun learning how to people from a giant blue hedgehog, aliens? Ah well. Sonic shrugs, but the idea of exploring has him pretty hype.

"Ah hah, now you're speaking my language! I am literally ready to go any time, just say the word!"

[doubled_speed]

Yeah, but maybe giant blue hedgehog was what they were missing in their lives. You don't know.

"Once summer comes. Easier to forage then. We can't carry all the food we need."

[spinsandneedles]

You know what, that's fair.

"Kinda sucks to have to wait that long, but it makes sense. That gives us time to get some other stuff prepared, too."

[doubled_speed]

Damn right it is. He's got a whole other outlook, and he seems to like life.

"Sorry man. But there's also lots of rain typically at this time of year. And I like sleeping a little more dry. Chances are we can make good distance in one day, but if we hit something that fucks our speed, some storm, we need to be able to shelter."

HE's had it happen too much.

[spinsandneedles]

Hey man that makes it sound like everyone else around here is actually real depressed! ...Is every one else around here actually real depressed? :(

"No, no, it's cool, I totally get it. I don't like smelling like wet fur anyway. Also the whole 'storms doing things to our speed' thing also doesn't exactly sound like something I want to risk."

New challenge: Get Sonic to say "fuck". I bet you can't.

[doubled_speed]

Oh, they are SUPER depressed. Was that a shock? Tommy's been here for three and three quarter years. He's so tired.

"Oh, yeah, they are really fucking messed up. My mutation also means I'm durable. Except when the storms roll in... Well, I've broken bones here a bit. Hate it."

[spinsandneedles]

Big oof. What y'all really need is a therapist, but Sonic can at least be aggressively optimistic at everyone! That... might help...

"Oh, goody. I'm foreseeing a lot more sprains in my future, if that's the case." Man these storms really don't sound like a great time. Sonic's self aware enough to know that he's super reckless and definitely going to get banged up at least once.

"So, do they only affect us if we're caught out in them, or do they get us either way?"

[doubled_speed]

Damn right they need a therapist. But no therapist is going to want htem, so it's fine. They just keep going the best they can.

"Possibly. But we got a doctor recently, and my brother can patch people up too. And Omega, she's getting good. She helped me with some stuff herself."

Oh now there's the million dollar question, isn't it? And Tommy's grimace should answer it.

"So far as we can tell, they get you either way."

[spinsandneedles]

Oh yeah, totally fine. Completely fine. I'm not even a little worried.

"That's good to know, at least. I don't have to worry about being super careful, then." Except maybe he should? Because getting hurt sucks? Nah fuck that.

"Ah well. Not like I'd be trying to run in circles indoors. On that note, I guess I better decide on where I'm gonna stay for when it does start to get nasty out."

Why no, he hasn't bothered to pick out a permanent residence.

[doubled_speed]

What's worry? Sounds like a lot of energy to be using up.

"Ships are an option if you can do small spaces. Hotel's not that bad. My brother and I set up a whole shop to turn over into our real home."

[spinsandneedles]

Exactly! Why worry when you can be going fast instead!

"I don't exactly love little tiny spaces, might check out the hotel though. That'll probably work for a while." Watch him decide to knock down a wall between rooms just to give himself more space. I mean if nobody stops him...

"Man, what are the odds of ending up here with family, though? Does your brother have the same kinda powers as you?"

[doubled_speed]

Sometimes that's a good thing. But sometimes it just made you lonely. He hated the lonely.

"Careful of the stairs. They are built for people that average seven feet tall. You can see which walls are better to run up and around from where there's some footprints. For when I just don't feel like the stairs."

Ending up here with family? Well, not very likely. Tommy smiles. He'd been so lucky. He had Wanda, he had Vision, and he had Billy. Now he just has Billy.

"Nope, he's a witch."

[spinsandneedles]

"Ugh, this place makes me feel so short..."

Not that any of the humans here are gonna be seven feet tall either, but still. He's definitely going to be using the walls to get around the ridiculous stairs.

"A witch, like with magic and flying brooms and stuff?"

CAN HE CAST INFINITE CHILI DOG can that be a spell

[doubled_speed]

Dude, Tommy too. He didn't like being only 5'8" when there had been so many people here taller than that. It had been maddening.

"Magic yes, flying brooms, no. Why would he need that when he can fly?"

He could absolutely cast that.

[spinsandneedles]

Now Tommy can stand next to Sonic and feel huge!

"Dude, that's awesome! I've got a buddy who can fly with his butt. Less because magic and more because he's got two tails, and if he spins 'em real fast he can fly. Shame about the broom, though. I've been cleaning the arcade out and could really use one."

[doubled_speed]

There is that. See little blue blue? You are even more appreciated already.


"Oh, you could ask him. Billy could whip up a broom quite easily for you."

[spinsandneedles]

Just don't ever call him that or there's gonna be a tussle.

"He can just magic up a broom? Just like out of thin air?"

[doubled_speed]

Of course not. Though a tussle could be amusing.

"I did point out he's a witch, didn't I? He magics me up new shoes when I need them."

Which is of course often.