NETWORK | VIDEO

[mrsklover]

[The message starts off with nothing but darkness for a few long seconds. It's quiet and still until, finally, a groan comes through. Another one follows behind it and the video shifts to show it apparently just pressed into the dirt.]

Fuck...

[The video turns again, whipping around as the person holding the comm seems to drop it a few times before finally righting it, camera facing the wrong way.]

How does...fucking... Shit...

[It falls again but then is lifted back up, turned around, and at long last the owner is shown: Richie Tozier squints at the device almost like he's in pain. Which...yeah. Sort of.]

Uh... Hey everyone... [He scratches his head.] You ever get the feeling like you missed something? Or a few somethings?

Comments

[crystalmaster]

... You really think you're in any shape for booze right now?

[mrsklover]

[He squints a little and then laughs.]

Ha! Sorry, we haven't met, have we?

My shape is specially made for booze. I am like an alcohol puzzle piece.

[crystalmaster]

Yeah, I don't think so. I'm Radley.

Heh. Well, if you say so.

[Radley isn't a doctor and won't push, although he is still feeling very WTH about this decision if the guy is serious about going out to drink right now.]

[mrsklover]

I've done a lot worse to this body than fuck up the liver immediately after a black out. [ Sure most of that left him in a rehab and none of it is exactly a brag. But Radley doesn't need to know that. ]

I'm Richie. Richie Tozier. Boring, normal human from Boring-Earth-Plus-One-Alien-Demon-Clown-With-A-Hankerin'-For-Children.

[crystalmaster]

Hey, it's your body.

... So where did an alien demon clown come from?

[Hopefully this isn't his version of Earth.... Although his version sure comes with some weird baggage too.]

[mrsklover]

Hell.

[ He shrugs. ]

The asshole is dead now, so it's fine.

[crystalmaster]

... Uh okay. Yeah, as long as you didn't bring it with you or something. We don't need any alien demon clown ghosts around here.

[mrsklover]

If I brought that fucker with me, I would be sleeping in space. Don't worry.

[crystalmaster]

Good.

[Radley gives him a thumbs-up.]

Well, I guess I'll see you around. If you decide you want something more filling than booze, come by the diner.

[mrsklover]

That sounds amazing. What do you guys serve there? Burgers?

[His eyes go wide with hope.]

Pizza?

[crystalmaster]

Burgers, yes! We don't have an actual pizza oven, but I've had some success making pizzas in what we've got.

[mrsklover]

Oh man. I am gonna be there in a second. This is the best day of my life. Two burgers, please! Supersize me!

[crystalmaster]

You got it!

[Radley sets to work making the burgers.]

[mrsklover]

[ Richie shows up about fifteen minutes later looking a bit less rough than he had on the video. Despite having (ostensibly) just woken up, he looks a little drained. Paler than usual with bags under his eyes.

Well, more bags than usual.

Still, he waves at Radley and gives a grin. ]

Yo! Here for the order. I just realized though, I didn't ask what kind of burger this was. Repli-cow meat? Glownie ground? Soylent Green?

[crystalmaster]

Hi! They taste pretty good.

[He shows them on the menu.]

((OOC: You know, I don't think it was mentioned what kind of meat they're using, lol. I don't think Radley would use Glownie, though.))

[mrsklover]

You know what? I have eaten worse on tour at places by the side of the road. I'm just gonna be glad it's a burger that looks meat-like and not question it.

[ He pauses, thinks, and then frowns. ]

I hope it's not the bantha though...

[crystalmaster]

Nah, no bantha.

Tour, huh? Are you a musician?

[mrsklover]

Comedian. Pretty good one if I write my own material. Which, for the record, I didn't. But if I ever get home again I probably will. Shock all my fans when I stop pretending to have girlfriends I'm horrible to.

[crystalmaster]

[Radley smirks a bit, then perks up with a thought.]

Yeah? Maybe you could write a routine for here and we could have comedy night at the diner.

[mrsklover]

[ Richie immediately perks up. ]

That's a pretty good idea! I don't know the last time I actually wrote out a routine. I've been here for so fucking long I haven't even thought about it...

[crystalmaster]

Great! ... Oh, are your routines family-friendly? We have some kids here....

[mrsklover]

[Richie's grimace is answer enough.]

Uh. No, not really. I mean, I guess it depends on the kid and how comfortable they are hearing the word 'Fuck'.

[crystalmaster]

... And you couldn't maybe have two versions of your routine so the kids could enjoy one of them?

[Radley would feel bad to leave them out, but he would definitely not encourage them to hear a very adults-only routine.]

[mrsklover]

I...uh... [He doesn't even know where to start making a children-friendly show.]

How young are we talking about, here?

[crystalmaster]

Ten, for at least one of them.

[He's not sure how old Omega is.]