August Catch-All

[hadthehighground]

WHO: Obi-Wan Kenobi and You!
WHERE: Around Temba and Not-Temba briefly
WHAT: Several things!
WHEN: Month of August
WARNINGS: None atm



A is for: Around the Temple

With his curiosity for Not-Temba being mostly satiated, Obi-Wan has returned to his normal routine in Temba. Which involved mostly doing things around the Temple. In the mornings he could be found meditating in The Spire, the tall building that he's converted into the prime meditation area. The Healing Crystals of Fire now sitting on a table in the center of the pedestal, surrounded by cushions for sitting. Anyone is welcome to join him there.

He can then be found tending to Boga in building that was converted to a barn and storage area. Following that, his classes and duties to his Padawans. Other points of his day spent to cleaning up more of the main temple area that he's converting to classrooms, other meditations spaces, a sparring hall and the the like.

Maybe sometime in the evening you might even catch him in the room he's put aside for the museum artifacts. Cataloging the pieces that remained, or even trying to put something together.

B is for: Babies!

Some days he spends more time with (baby) Luke and Leia more than others. This includes one afternoon where he could sense the children wanted attention. Peeking in on them only to find Padme having passed out for a well deserved nap. Draping his cloak over her, he then takes the little ones so that she's not disturbed.

Spreading a blanket on the temple's now manicured lawn, he places the twins down for a bit of tummy time and sunshine. The babies cooing as Leia tries to scoot along in an attempt to go somewhere, while Luke grabs at and mouths an obnoxiously pink mothcat plushie.

The Jedi Master simply relaxing right next to them, quietly reading a book.

C is for: Classes!

While Obi-Wan liked to work one on one with each of his Padawans, there are days when he gets all of them together for various learning sessions. Luke having been invited to sit in on them too now that he was here and clearly had gaps in his own learning.

Luke being given a copy of 'The Jedi Path' so that he could read it and follow along with classes. Each time they did this they covered a portion of the book in greater detail and discussion. One of those sessions ending with a question time. "Does anyone have anything they would like to ask or for me to elaborate on?"

Then there was the one on one time. Whether it was working with Ezra on his lightsaber forms, with Grogu in his speech therapy, refreshing Cal on the Jedi Code, or discussing Force Healing with Luke. Whatever it might be, he was always there and available for them. Doing his best to teach them what each individual needed.

D is for: Deep End

Even a Jedi Master needs a break from time to time. Something different than just meditating, as helpful and fulfilling as that always was. Thus on occasion Obi-Wan could be found at the local bar. Not exactly a regular but a semi-frequent visitor.

Boga, his giant lizard mount, was usually seen outside the bar when he was there. The creature being exceptionally obedient as she patiently waited outside, not needing to be tied up. She's friendly though! Anyone who passes by while find her simply looking at them with a keen and intelligent gaze. She does like pets though and won't bite unless provoked.

Obi-Wan though will be inside, sitting down with a view of the aquarium and likely sipping at some Jawa Juice or whatever fancies him that day. Maybe someone can get him to try a bit of spotchka?

E is for... uh. Palm Cottage I guess.

Eventually he did go back to Not-Temba, realizing that he could no longer get on the Twin Roses or any of the other ships docked in Temba. Finding this curious, he took a train to Not-Temba and returned to the hangar where they had discovered the other ships.

To his amazement he couldn't get on any of them this time except for one. The Palm Cottage opening up for him. It's then that he takes the time to explore this ship a bit more thoroughly, enjoying all the plant life within. This ship just really seemed to suit him.

Anyone else making their way onto the ship at this time might find him sitting on the "Captain's" cot. Legs folded beneath him as he meditated, putting out his Force feelers and getting better acquainted with the ship and the plants that were scattered about.

Wildcard!
(( If there's something else you want to thread feel free to hit me up either in PM, blackpidgeot or Discord: Darkfeather#8447 ))

Comments

[hadthehighground]

The reassurance is appreciated and Obi-Wan gives Ezra a faint smile. He was right though, there was still time. Though he winced slightly at the mention of Owen. "No, I don't think she will," he agreed. The older Luke had told him about that as well, and he would be lying if he said it hadn't made his heart sink.

"No, that's where you're wrong, Ezra. It is your place. I very much value your opinion. But don't worry, if anything they will get all the love they need." He loved those children deeply, and the older Luke as well though he didn't actually know him yet. And he loved Ezra too. That feeling surging through their bond with deep warmth.

[ezra_of_lothal]

Ezra beams back, warmed by the emotion flowing through their bond as much as the words themselves.

"They will, we make sure of it," he replies, with the easy, sunny confidence he learned from Hera. "And well, I hope you know I'm working on completing my training with you because I want to. I want to find my path forward as a Jedi."

[hadthehighground]

"I do, and I'm glad for it," Obi-Wan says. "It brings me joy to see that and gives me hope that our people will flourish once more. Both here and in the future of our galaxy."

He reaches out and puts his hand on Ezra's shoulder. "Not only that, but I want what's best for you, for all of us here. To be happy and comfortable with who you are. To meet your full potential. I wouldn't be a good master if I didn't."

[ezra_of_lothal]

"I love you, too," Ezra says, sounding a touch amused, because he does appreciate all the nuance behind Obi-wan's words.

But sometimes it's nice to just say it with fewer of them.

"Other thoughts on non combat things I could be working on?"

[hadthehighground]

Sorry Ezra he’s a man of words but doesn’t always say the simplest things. It’s a thing of his and he sighs with a slightly exasperated look on his face. He knows it, and regrets not saying such things to his last Padawan too. But old habits are hard to break.

“Well, I think developing our healing skills would be good. Would you like to practice with me?”

[ezra_of_lothal]

"Hmm." Ezra eyes him in an exaggerated way.

"I would. And will. If you tell me if I'm actually annoying you when I say things like, or if you're annoyed at yourself." It looked and felt like annoyance to him, but the why's of emotions can be slippery.

"Or if it's something else entirely that I'm just not getting."

It's not exactly subtle negotiation, but he's giving it a go. Come on Obi-wan, you didn't think he'd be the easy padawan all the time, did you?

[hadthehighground]

No Padawan is or should be easy. Though really Obi-Wan would consider Ezra a breeze compared to Anakin. But what he says does confuse him a little.

“Say things like what? … That you love me?” He looks at Ezra, a bit startled at the idea that he thinks he would be annoyed by that.

“No. Not at all. Quite the opposite really.”

He paused, taking a moment to examine his own thoughts and feelings. “I suppose it’s just that… Anakin and I never said such things to each other. The last and only time I did… was just before I left him to die.”

Such easy and normal things that shouldn’t be so difficult always seemed to have some sort of connection to trauma for him. It wasn’t right or fair, and seemed to be a cause for misunderstanding like just now.

[ezra_of_lothal]

"I saw," Ezra reminds his master, gently.

"I didn't realize it was...the only time you told him that." He frowns slightly.

"But then I don't think I remember Kanan saying exactly those words out loud, either. I mean. I knew anyway. I had doubts sometimes."

After Malachor, especially, but he imagines that's obvious. "But not for a long time, before he died."

[hadthehighground]

Nodding quietly in understanding as Ezra talks about Kanan. Jedi didn’t always verbalize their feelings, they felt them. They often didn’t need to put them into words. And yet… it still felt like a failing on his part.

This was hard for him to talk about. The only reason he was, was because Ezra had seen it all and they had made a promise to each other. It still didn’t make it easy though.

“And how do you feel about that?”

[ezra_of_lothal]

Ezra pauses to think about that for a moment.

"It's ok," he says, slowly. "I remember my birth parents saying that sort of thing a lot - it's the last thing that....version of my parents that Palpatine showed me said to me. So talking like that feels pretty natural to me. But I know not everyone is naturally that, um. Demonstrative."

He meets Obi-wan's gaze. "So it's ok. If you aren't. I can still feel it and know it."

[hadthehighground]

Obi-Wan pauses and frowns as ge thinks about this. It didn’t seem right to just go along with that. Ezra was his padawan, his brother, and he had needs. So was Anakin, and he has to wonder now. If he had been more “demonstrative” of his feelings, would that have curbed or even prevented the disaster that happened?

Of course he doesn’t want to make the same mistakes. Not that Ezra was Anakin or would ever go down that path. But he wanted to do things right. To do right by all of his students and the babies he was helping to care for.

“I’m not certain it is okay,” he admits. “My master wasn’t very forthcoming with his feelings either and I was often left wondering. There was a frustration there at times. I don’t want it to be like that between us. It was always understood among the Jedi of the Order that we all cared, though of course no one was perfect. However, this isn’t the order I grew up with. I can’t assume anything will be like it was.”

[ezra_of_lothal]

"Some things will be different just because of circumstances, and we can also can talk about changes we think we should make, or want to," Ezra agrees.

"But look, I saw the tendency for temple raised Jedi to be...reserved when we visited Coruscant, and it sounds like maybe that was a pretty consistent thing for a long time? And I get it. We as Jedi have to be more mindful of the distance between our feelings and our actions than most."

[hadthehighground]

“We do,” Obi-Wan agrees. “With the abilities we have and the power it grants us, we have a responsibility to keep it under control. To protect not only ourselves, but those around us.”

Breathing out a sigh, Obi-Wan folded his arms, his brow creased. “In that it was paramount to train Jedi from a young age. To have an early start at controlling one’s feelings. We mastered that over the centuries. But then Anakin was different. He came into a system that worked, at a stage that wasn’t compatible with how we operated. Many of the masters initially rejected him, and I agreed with them. It was only after Qui-Gon’s death, when he made me promise to train him, that I altered my perception. Perhaps I was foolish, or arrogant, to think I had the ability to train him well enough to fit into our ways. Clearly it didn’t work.”

These were thoughts that had been floating around in his head in fragments for months. Finally coming together to the point that he could voice them.

“You are not in a dissimilar position. You were not temple raised, and while Cal and Grogu were, they were removed long enough to fracture their lives as Jedi. I can’t train any of you like the Padawans at the temple. If I do, I fear history may repeat itself.”

That was the last thing he wanted to happen with any of them.

“And yet…” he pauses, a feeling of shame filling him. “I find it hard to let go.”

[ezra_of_lothal]

Ezra takes that all in quietly. He hadn't known Anakin had come to the Jedi so late, and it's admittedly an unnerving parallel - although he's not convinced that, or some flaw in Obi-wan or the Order was the source of all of Anakin's problems.

"To let go of...fear of failing us?" he asks, a little tentative. "Because, Master...I don't see you as trying to jam us into molds we don't fit. At seems to me that you've been trying really hard to not do that."

[hadthehighground]

Maybe not all of his problems, but Obi-Wan felt he at least contributed somehow. That he had failed his first Padawan. Nothing has been able to truly convince him otherwise. While it was true Anakin had fallen into the clutches of a Sith Lord, it had all happened under Obi-Wan’s nose. On his watch. He hadn’t forgiven himself for that.

“Yes, I’m doing everything I can to make sure you don’t feel that way. Yet I would be lying if I said it wasn’t a struggle. I devoted my life to the order, and my human nature wants to cling to the familiar. While it also feels like a betrayal to deviate from what I’ve been taught.”

Inwardly he balked at any talk of change. Or doing things differently. Even though he knew he had to. It was an inner conflict that was difficult to deal with.

[ezra_of_lothal]

Ezra bites his lower lip.

"Then - I wish you weren't hurting so much, I really do, for your sake. But I don't think beating yourself up over....over grieving the Order as it was, not to mention all the people, is going to miraculously make those very understandable feelings go away. Or give you clarity in how to help guide us forward, for that matter."

After a beat, he adds, "You wouldn't lecture me for missing Kanan and his teaching style sometimes, would you? Or feeling any sort of conflict in calling you my master?"

[hadthehighground]

“No, of course not,” Obi-Wan says easily. “I would say it’s very natural to feel that way.”

“You’re right in that it won’t help. As a Jedi master I should know better. It’s a completely irrational thing. Yet I think the reason it is, is because I do share some blame for what happened. It’s not only that I miss them. I owe it to my fallen brothers and sisters to continue their legacy.”

He then paused, faltering a little. “Though my biggest grief is for Anakin.”

[ezra_of_lothal]

He wants to argue against the self-blame, too, but he thinks he's made his opinion on that pretty clear before. He'd much rather aim an anger at Palpatine, or Anakin, for falling so far.

Ezra just sighs softly. "You know there's nothing wrong with that, too, right? Do you think I've never wished I could have met him as he was?"

[hadthehighground]

Arguing against it wouldn’t make that feeling go away either. He could be told it wasn’t his fault by anyone but that didn’t mean he would entirely believe it. He needed to forgive himself.

“Wrong? No, there’s nothing inherently wrong with it. I wish you could have him as he was too.”

But now it was Obi-Wan’s turn to sigh. “But I think we’ve spoken enough about this for now.” He didn’t like dwelling on this topic for long. Nor did he want to pull Ezra down with his own misery. It wasn’t fair to him.

[ezra_of_lothal]

Ezra eyes him.

"Are you up for starting another set of katas?" Because well, yes, he's a little sad now and concerned, but he think he's sorted the frustration with himself out just fine.

[hadthehighground]

“Yes, let’s do that.” He could use the diversion and could meditate at the same time. It would give him the chance to release some of the feelings this conversation dredged up.

Stepping back Obi-Wan moves to get into position again.

[ezra_of_lothal]

The padawan breaks into a small but real smile, with a pulse of affection through the Force, as he climbs back to his feet - willing to set aside the many threads of their talk, for now. Ready to get back to work.