revivalproject | 01 | Video | Steve Rogers Figures out Tech

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01 | Video | Steve Rogers Figures out Tech

OPEN

Steve is Not a fan of this. He's locked in this ship and has no idea where everyone else is. Has no idea where Bucky or Nat or Hux or anyone else is and isn't about to thank the Agrii for their social hour, here, until he gets more information. But he also realizes that if he is freaked out then so is everyone else here. Hero training kicks in and Steve takes a deep breath before turning on his comm for the network and making a video post.

He is smiling when he comes on screen, trying to look as settled as he can. "Hey everyone. I know that this is probably upsetting, being locked in. Just keep in mind we're all in the same boat and try to look out for each other. It's not gonna last forever, remember that. Take care of your crews and just keep an eye on that clock. Once we're all free again we can make sure the Agrii realize this was not acceptable. But for now, here is what is important:

We're not alone. We're not in any immediate danger. We have food, we have water, and we have shelter. We can all reach out to those we care about and I recommend we do so as much as possible. This isn't going to last forever."

He breathes in and out before trying to smile wider.

"That's all I had to say. Feel free to contact me whenever. We're in this together, everyone."

CLOSED TO BUCKY

Not again. All Steve can think of when he wakes up without Bucky is 'Not again'. The last time this happened he'd spent a year without his friend cum lover and, facing that again, he was almost sick to his stomach imagining it. Not again. The Agrii couldn't do that to him again. Steve had no idea what he would do if they did. Part of him was terrified of what he would do. None of it would be good.

He slams his finger into name for his boyfriend and a large, panicked face of Steve fills the screen as he sends a video to what he hopes is Bucky's comm. "C'mon, c'mon...." he chants over and over, waiting to see the other man.

"Bucky...sweetheart. Please, please say you're there...."

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"Liar," he calls him out."You can't get enough of this mug."

At the next question Steve's smile fades a bit. "I don't know, honestly. I can't help anyone here. I can barely even help out the crew since I picked up Medical instead of anything else." He laughs humorlessly though.

"I can get them drunk though. Except for The Vision."

"Maybe I just got poor taste."

Yeah, that's definitely not what Bucky thinks.

Of course, he snorts when Steve says he can't help out - "Stevie. Only you would think the ability to patch somebody up is useless." Because, "It's not. I mean - I hope you don't need to use it, but if you do... then you're gonna be one real popular guy."

Besides, as for Bucky, "We've got a ship full of Engineers, over here. I shoulda downloaded Piloting while I was considering it." Not that Bucky really wants to download anything into his brain, because it's just - well, it's weird and invasive, is what it is. But it's necessary, and neither he nor Steve have ever shied away from things that are weird or uncomfortable if they're necessary.

And there is a small part of him that had really enjoyed piloting these ships, before. He can't deny that, and maybe he kind of wants it back. Especially now that it's clear he doesn't need the Engineering expertise to get them by.

"Should I just call you Nurse Rogers?" he finally adds, batting his eyes a little and grinning.

"Oh yeah? Lookin' for a check up, Pilot Barnes?" Steve's teasing but there's something heated in his look that promises for this to be picked up once they're free of these ships and he can get his hands on the other. The heat fades out as quick as it comes as Steve looks over the others face and exhales longingly.

"You better plan for a nice, long exam, pal. Minute I get my hands on you..." It's said more wistfully than lustful. He smiles in a soft way and shakes his head. Self-reproach.

"It sappy to say I'll have trouble sleeping tonight? Your snores are like a lullaby to me, now..."

"Is that a promise?" Bucky murmurs, trying to get Steve to see that teasing like this? It's okay. It's probably even healthy. And regardless of that last thing - Bucky sure as hell doesn't mind. It's not like he'd ever been rude enough to tease a girl like this unless they'd been seeing each other for a while, unless she would've taken it okay. But a lot of girls had. Yeah - you treat women with respect, but you also treat them like you like them. Like you want to see more of them, spend time with them. And the kinds of girls Bucky had dated - and, honestly, tried to get to date Steve - were the kind who could take a little teasing. Who enjoyed it, even.

And frankly, he doesn't need to be thinking about them right now, when he's got Steve on the other end of the line, and Steve is his. And he's Steve's.

"Could always leave the line open if you're that desperate, pal," he says - but there's something soft beneath the teasing, something that says if that would actually help Steve? Bucky would do it.

And it might help him, too - which is when he gets the worst idea, perking up a little and grinning. "Or - you ever heard of sexting?"

Okay, it's not like either of them has privacy on their ships to really go all the way through with something like that. But it might be worth suffering through blue balls to imagine Steve doing the same on his ship. Plus, maybe the adrenaline rush will get Steve's mind off whatever perceived helplessness he has rattling around in there.

"Maybe I will be," Steve answers, teasing himself but also with the air of someone bracing their partner for a worst case scenario. Having Bucky on the line would assure Steve that he was still there. It's his worst fear, now. That he got Bucky back just to lose him again. He doesn't know that he'll be able to cope with that if it happens. So. Yeah. Maybe they'll just keep the line open overnight.

At the sexting comment, though, he laughs and shakes his head. "I got awhile before I can touch you, sweetheart. I dunno if I wanna torture myself so early on. Maybe later when I know I'll get my hands on you soon." His eyes flash wickedly. "Don't wear something you like too much. Visit Soup Lies to get something I can rip off ya."

But in the meantime, Steve just wants to talk. He just wants to hear his lover's voice and know he's close.

"Till then, how about we use the distance to do some bonding? No chance of it all devolving into us rolling around in some leaves." His cheeks heat in memory of that. "And I think we could probably use some time to talk. Learn more about what we don't know about each other..."

Bucky knows that underneath the veneer of teasing, Steve's probably desperately scared. He can't say he isn't, himself - for Steve, for himself, if they get separated again. He hates being at the whim of someone else like the Atroma or the Agrii, and he hates that there's nothing they can do about it, either. He does know, though, that if there's something they can do to offset the not knowing, then it's worth doing. If that thing is keeping the line open, he's got no problem with that. He can't promise Steve they won't be separated by forces beyond their control. But he can promise Steve that he'll be right here with him, until or unless that happens.

"You got no sense of adventure," he teases back, though, because he'd rather tease than huddle in fear, and he knows Steve would, too. "But I guess I'll see what I can do, if you're gonna get that overeager to see me again."

In fact, it kindles something warm deep in his gut, hearing that kind of talk from Steve. It feels special, sacred, for all that it's lewd - and, well, the fact that it is lewd, and coming from Steve, means a hell of a lot all on its own. Bucky maybe likes being able to bring out that side of him, and maybe preens a little at the idea.

Even as he laughs softly, and settles back a little on the bunk he's claimed, because if Steve wants to talk... they'll talk. "So - some non-sexy bonding, got it, pal," he says, voice warm as he gets comfortable, propping elbows on knees so he can keep his face in the video feed for Steve. "Although I'm not sure what I can tell you that you don't know. I mean - I guess the time between the ice and now are really the only things that are different..."

He isn't sure how he feels about that, entirely. A little like he's just a carbon copy of someone else, yeah. A little like Steve is both a complete stranger and absolutely not, at the same time. It's a weird duality, a weird little war going on in his brain, and it makes him uncomfortable and he frankly tries not to think about it too hard. Of course, what Steve's proposing kind of flies in the face of that. "I feel like all that happened was I got the life you were supposed to have, and - you're kinda the proof."

That is uncomfortable to admit. But true.

Without contact Steve feels a bit like some of his ability to make Bucky feel better is taken away. He can't just reach out and kiss his lover. He can't touch nor hold him. All he can do is look at him with the barest of understanding because, honestly, he doesn't have this problem. There was never a Captain America that he took the place of. When Bucky died in his universe he didn't have to step into his shoes and keep going. Steve doesn't even know that he could have.

"You're more than me," he says quietly. "You picked up where I don't think I could have. And the life we both had?"

Steve remembers a sad Peggy, old and accomplished looking at him and grieving the life he never got to live. He also remembers the years of chasing Bucky and feeling more alive than ever just looking over at him and chasing the sunset with some scheme or another.

"It was no life. It was work. And if you got my life then the only reason for it that work was easier than facing the empty apartment and emptier contact list full of names long dead."

Or facing the fact that a man, Steve is slowly realizing, he may have loved his entire life was gone because of him. It was too much between that and Peggy to really do anything but follow orders and be Captain America. And that wasn't a real person.

It is weird and strange to be talking to Steve over video like this - not weird in general, but weird specifically because it's Steve, and by the nature of the time they'd grown up in, this hadn't been possible.

But Bucky huffs out something that's not quite a laugh, when Steve says he couldn't have. "Steve," he says, quietly, somehow managing to look at Steve through the screen without looking at him directly at the same time, "I did it because you would have."

Bucky had picked up the shield and kept going because who the hell else was better than he was at knowing what Steve would have wanted, would have done? Like hell was he going to let them give the job - the persona, everything Steve had made it, and everything it had made Steve - to someone else. Over his fucking dead body.

And apparently, not even then.

Still, Steve's right about some of it. Work was easier than trying to deal with everyone being gone. Hell, Bucky hasn't ever been sure that he's got the right to call up Peggy, to hare off and see her, when he knows his face isn't the one she's missing. But on the other hand... Work had also been easier than trying to make new connections. It had made them for him. It had provided him with... not friends, but coworkers, acquaintances, a way to get out of his head and out of the house. A way to prove himself - and to prove that someone like Steve was still valid, still necessary, seventy years after he'd (supposedly) died.

And because, Bucky had believed, it was what Steve would have done. It was, apparently, what Steve had done.

Besides, "Nobody looks at Cap and really thinks of me. They think of you. And that's fine. But If they're gonna do that... I want to make sure they get the right idea." Because sure, Bucky's got his own way of being Cap. But the idea is that the end result is always the same. "And you? You don't fucking quit." And Bucky loves that about him, for all that he gripes. Hopefully, that much is clear in his voice.

It's a strange thing to realize that you're a hero to your boyfriend. Your best friend who is also a hero to you. Steve blinks as he hears Bucky's words and hears everything that comes from beneath them. His lover had watched him die and picked up the shield to carry on his legacy because that was what he would have done. Bucky's whole life after that damned train was living the life that Steve would have so that what he built could live on after him. Bucky was Steve's legacy. And he'd lived his entire life for that. Would have kept on living that half of a life until God knew when. Just like Steve had been, just for drastically different reasons.

"I love you."

It's the only thing he can say at first. It's not as awed nor tender as it usually is, though. If anything, Steve is grieving for Bucky. He could have had a real life but gave it all up for him. And Steve gets that, but he doesn't as well. He threw himself into his work because he'd lost everything he loved and couldn't face it. He couldn't stand the fact that he'd lost his home, his love, his best friend, and every single person he knew. He'd died when he went into the ice and was still going on like a zombie, trying to find a reason for it all even when each time he got footing the rug got ripped out.

But Bucky is different. His experience was so different. And it was all tied to him.

"I love you, so much. But...when I look at this shield, I think of you. I swear... The only reason I even became Captain America was because of you. I was a dancing monkey until I heard you were in danger. The whole reason I fought against what they were making me do was because of you, Buck. Captain America is ours. Not mine.

"The only reason I am who I am is because of you."

Bucky barks out a quiet, almost surprised laugh - not at Steve's profession of love, of course, but because - " God, Stevie." Hearing that from Steve is just... it's overwhelming, and he doesn't know what to do with it, if not laugh, at least a little.

Bucky knows Steve hadn't wanted to be a war bond-selling monkey. He knows he'd never wanted to put on the dumb shows, but he'd done it because he'd had no other choice, and when faced with a bad choice or giving up, Steve's gonna take that choice. He doesn't give up, he doesn't go home. He'd believed he could make a difference - hell, he was making a difference, even if they both know bumping war bond sales had not been his vision.

But he'd been doing something, and that's why, when it had come down to it, Bucky had picked up the shield, too. Why he'd kept it, after the ice. And now, here's Steve, saying all that, and -

Bucky chuckles again, closing his eyes for a moment, leaning a little more on his elbows, face bowing closer to the screen. "We're either so messed up, or - so on the same wavelength that it's scary," he finally says, his mouth twisted into a wry grin, and his eyes full of soft emotion when he opens them again, searches out Steve's face on the screen. But Steve's right, Bucky realizes. Cap is theirs, and it's... just such a crazy thing to realize that for a second, Bucky can't breathe with it.

But then, after that second, he can. "I'm not sorry I picked it up," he says, softly. "I don't think... the alternative woulda been all that good." Maybe it was a half life, but the other option was nothing at all. And if it was that way for him, then for Steve... "I'm not sorry you did, either. Fake it 'till you make it, right?"

And now, here they are. "I love you for what you did for me. And I love you for picking yourself up, every time, Stevie. I love it, even when it makes me fucking mad. You know that, right?"

Edited 2019-10-20 23:06 (UTC)

"I know."

And he does. He knows bone deep that Bucky could be punching his lights out and still love him more than anyone else in the world. He knows it because Steve feels it, too. Even when Winter made him want to scream, Steve loved him because Bucky Barnes is part of his DNA. Sure, that love certainly did find different ways of expressing itself but the emotion was the same. He knows that's what Bucky feels, too.

"I know. Because, yeah. We're...scarily on the same messed up wavelength."

Steve laughs just a hair away from humorlessly. His hand reaches out and strokes along the screen, longing. "I love you, Bucky. A Hell of a lot. And I love you for picking up the shield and carrying on for me. I love...so much about you.

"Except for the fact you're not here. Fix that, wouldya?"

Bucky definitely considers himself multitalented enough to punch Steve and love him at the same time. Absolutely. And he knows that whatever Steve had done to get himself punched by Bucky, Bucky would probably love him for, too. That's just how they work.

He does have to laugh, a little, at the request. "Oh, yeah, lemme just learn to teleport real quick, can't be that hard..." he drawls, but his gaze is still on the screen, and still soft. "This ain't like before, with what happened before we got here," he says, not sure if that's what's bothering Steve so much, but figuring it sure as hell can't be helping. "I'm not going anywhere. I'll be here when the door opens."

He doesn't go quite so far as to promise it - because he can't, but he would if he could - but the intent is there. He can at least promise, silently, that he wants to be here, with Steve.

He settles back a bit better, and lets out a breath. "Anything else you wanna know? Should we play 20 questions? Or," he laughs again, "you could tell me what you'd put in a dating profile. That's gotta be illuminating, right?"

Steve smiles at Bucky's words even if they ring hollow in his chest. There's no promises. No guarantees that the doors will open and they will be back in each other's arms. All Steve has is his hopes that the Agrii will see that they belong at each other's sides and decide not to tamper with it. Well, he has that and the knowledge that, if Bucky is ripped away from him, he will burn the galaxy down to get him back. He nearly had done that, once, and is not above doing it again. Definitely not after only having him back for so short a time.

Still, he lets his mind get dragged away by Bucky's good humor and suggestion. Steve adjusts himself so that he can lean closer to the screen and drop his voice.

"Dating profile? Let's see... American Hero seeking feisty brunette with a military background. Either gender may apply."

Edited (Changed wording ) 2019-11-11 02:09 (UTC)

Bucky sees the look in Steve's eyes; he may be smiling, but there's something deeply serious behind it. And isn't that just 100 percent Steve, he figures - it makes Bucky smile a little, too, if only because Steve is one of the most consistent pillars he has ever had to lean on, and sometimes it makes Bucky feel like the luckiest guy in the world, to know that Steve stands for things that he always has and always will stand for, and even when it's frustrating, that integrity will be there to support you.

Of course, he can't help the way he laughs a little, because, "Wow, Steve, that's weirdly specific," he snorts, not actually surprised in the least. "Way to not help a guy out. What kinda dates would you like?" Since that seems to be a reasonable question to ask: "I know you got a shitty history with 'em, but you've gotta be able to come up with something." He pauses, then holds up a finger. "Don't say sharing a foxhole while getting shelled. That ain't a date, you mook."

"Dates? Aw, Buck..."

He scrubs at his neck and has the words 'I don't know' racing out of his throat before he's even turned his thoughts toward it. It's a knee-jerk response; Bucky was the one who came up with dates and had romantic thoughts. Steve just tagged along like the sidekick he'd once been. He'd sat to the side in dance halls and bars and watched Bucky effortlessly charm everyone in the room. He'd smile and watch another girl fall in love with his dancing and his smooth words. And. Huh. Actually...

As Steve thinks about it, maybe he has an idea about a date he wants, after all.

"I like dancing with you," he says instead. "I really like dancing with you. I know I'm no good and we only did it once, but..."

Steve's cheeks pink as he remembers that night. The moment he kissed Bucky and everything slotted into place for the first time. A smile cracks his face in two as he ducks his head and continues scratching his neck.

"I always wanted to be the one you danced with, I think. It's nice being your partner for it, now..."

That's - actually not what Bucky had expected. At all. Because yes - Bucky remembers all those nights spent in dance halls; he remembers being swamped by girls, he remembers sometimes having trouble getting away from them, trying to catch sight of Steve and wishing, each time he had, that his best friend could find some way to have the same good time Bucky did, dancing and flirting. He'd always wished that one of the girls Bucky so effortlessly charmed would realize that Steve could be just as charming, if you'd give him half a chance and a second glance.

But - well. Yeah, he hadn't expected Steve to say dancing was actually his ideal date. It's why Bucky had asked him, because he'd pretty much expected Steve to say anything but.

"Steve," he murmurs, half a laugh under his voice, because it's just the craziest thing. "Well - if that's what you want, pal. That's easy to do. First thing, when we get outta here, huh?" Because you can dance anywhere, anytime, and if that's what Steve wants, it's the easiest thing in the world to give him - if only they were in the same goddamned place.

"Gotta be honest, I didn't think it was your thing," Bucky admits, after a moment. "But it's kinda nice, to hear it is." Because those are the kind of dates Bucky's most comfortable with, and things he's comfortable with are frankly in short supply, and have been for years. Maybe it's true of Steve, too. He does laugh, now, saying, "Easier than finding a Starbucks for coffee, huh?"

Steve shrugs, just a little bit sheepish. "I liked watching you move. I liked watching you fight, too for the same reason. But I figure that dancing is a lot more romantic than sparring." Although... Fighting with Bucky would probably lead to more interesting things in short order. Maybe he should consider it a little more seriously, but that was for another day. Their next date after all of this separation had to be something sweet and romantic. If Steve could stop kissing Bucky long enough to manage it, that is.

"I might be a shit dancer myself, but with a partner I can manage. And then I get to be close to you. Hold you." His smile spreads over his face, mischievous and wide. "It's all really just an excuse to hold you."

Bucky laughs softly, smiling at the compliment. "Well, it'll probably result in fewer broken noses - although I guess we won't know 'till we try it." Although Steve's not wrong - Bucky could definitely see turning sparring into something a little more intimate, under the right circumstances. He's already learned the benefits of being manhandled - and of being able to manhandle your partner without worrying about propriety or safety.

Either way, he laughs again, because, "Yeah, that's what most people were usin' it for, during the war, wasn't it?" An excuse to hold each other, to stay close, and to pretend things weren't as shitty as they were. It seems like a reasonable strategy to apply here, too - not that things are quite as shitty, because he's got Steve. And they've got friends.

But they're still separated; Bucky blows out a breath, making a face. "God, this is frigging annoying. I don't know what the point of keeping us cooped up in ships like this is, but those doors better open when the counter hits zero or I'm gonna find out just how well these ships like getting up close and personal with some vibranium."

"Be ready to be tackled into the ground, pal," he teases with what is probably only 12% exaggeration. Steve reaches presses a kiss to the tips of his fingers and holds it against the screen, eyes focused on his lover, bright and warm.

"Minute that clock hits zero I'm coming for you. Everyone else better just clear a path."

Bucky just grins, but there's a warmth behind it, as his fingers press to the screen, too, like they can make that point of contact real. "I think they'll hear you comin' and know to get out of the way," he teases, but there's definite fondness in his voice.

And then, "You know, it's good we weren't, uh, doin' this during the war. I'd have to figure out how to write you letters that would make it past the censors. Probably would've gotten pretty interesting."

That's enough to startle a laugh out of Steve as he imagines the letters they would have written. Christ, how would they have kept everyone from knowing how head-over-heels they were for one another? How could Steve have written back and not risked Bucky being found out?

"Probably woulda needed to write to 'Stephanie'," he says with another laugh. "Either that or just really lean into all the 'pal' talk:

'God, Stevie. I miss you so badly, buddy. Can't wait to hold you again, friend.' "

Steve laughs again, cheered by how completely absurd that all was. "Or you coulda just not watched it at all and gotten shipped back home."

Bucky tilts his head, considering. "Yeah, we woulda had to go with Stephanie," he decides, with a grin that might be a little wicked. "I don't think anybody woulda bought the number of times you'dve written pal."

Because Bucky can be creative and sneaky, thankyouverymuch.

But still, it's nice to hear Steve laugh. It's a good sound, and one that he doesn't hear nearly often enough. "Yeah, that would've been one strategy," he points out. "But then, you woulda gotten yourself juiced up and we'dve just missed each other, think how that would've gone, huh?"

"I woulda gone home." Steve says it plainly as though there is no possible other option. And there isn't from where he sits. "The only reason Captain America became what he was is because I went after you. Once I knew you were home my tour woulda ended real fast."

He smiles again and offers a small laugh as he shakes his head.

"Ever wonder what woulda happened if your number didn't get called? If you had stayed in Brooklyn when Erskine came knocking on my door?" His smile fades into a serious expression tinged with curiosity.

"Would you have stopped me?"

Bucky's mouth twists, but - maybe Steve would have. If all he'd ever been was a dancing monkey, then who's to say he wouldn't have given it up?

But - somehow that just seems wrong. Steve's Captain America - a real hero, not a puppet - and taking that away from the world, from Steve, seems worse than everything that's happened to them, despite it all. Bucky's not sure whether that makes him a good person or a bad one, thinking that way, but he can't stop the way he feels, either.

Of course, at the question - at the question, he's silent. For a long, long time. Because wow, that is a question. Would he have?

"I - don't know," he finally has to admit. "I think I would've tried. And - I think you and the world would've been worse off for it," he adds, voice quiet, maybe a little ashamed. "It would've been selfish... but I can't say I wouldn't have done it, to try to keep you safe, even if the next flu might've done you in."

At least the flu, or whatever Steve would've caught next, would have been a known danger. Letting Steve walk into Project Rebirth... "Would you have wanted to, so badly, if I hadn't been drafted?" Bucky asks, turning the question right around on Steve, even as he knows he shouldn't.

"Sorry - you don't have to answer that."

The question hits him sideways. Steve has barely had time to process Bucky's answer before he is contemplating his own, but the answer comes fast. For better or worse, he knows what he would have done.

"Yeah. Yeah, I would have wanted to just as bad." He sighs and can't help the self-deprecating smile that comes over him. "I wanted to keep up with you. I wanted to be you. I grew up my whole life not being able to follow as close as I wanted to and those days were over. I wanted to make money and not live in fear of every wheeze.

"And, yeah. I wanted to go to war. To protect you and to protect America. Even if you had been at home, I still wanted to do that. But the fact that you were out there being shot at without me made it a no brainer."

01 | Video | Steve Rogers Figures out Tech

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