Moonshade of the Wolfriders (
holtfinder) wrote in
revivalproject2021-07-11 01:09 pm
[Howl Mingle] Wolves Outside and They Wear Sheeps' Clothing
WHO: Everyone's invited!
WHERE: The grassy area north of the memorial at Green 19
WHAT: A Howl!
WHEN: Under the light of the full moon
WARNINGS: Please put them in TLs if they apply to your story
The area has been cleared of rocks, making it comfortable for people to sit on the grass or some of the larger boulders that were already there. The full moon shines overhead, making it bright enough to see one another. While some people would put a bonfire in the center of the ring, Moonshade is doing this the traditional way; the Wolfriders avoid fire at all costs.
That said, she's gotten someone to cook a portion of the piglet-squirrels she's hunted to share with everyone, skewered and nicely charred, enough to go around. But there's also raw meat available for anyone like her, who prefers to have theirs fresh.
Moonshade directs everyone into a rough sort of circle, standing in the middle as she waits for the late arrivals. She's dressed in her usual leathers, but there's some flowers from the greenhouse tucked into her hair, something small and purple that catches the moonlight. "Thank you all for coming. My people, the Wolfriders, hold howls regularly. We sing to the moon as our wolf-friends did even before we joined them. And we tell stories. This is how we keep our history alive. I know that I don't share a history with any of you, but I could think of no better way to learn who you all are, what Way you live by, than hearing your stories, and sharing one of my own."
Her smile turns a little wry, and she glances at Steadypaw. "But before the stories, we sing." And the wolf moves from lying down to sitting, throws his head back, and lets out a proper howl. Moonshade joins in a moment later, closing her eyes. It's an eerie harmony between them--she can't help but wonder who'll join in. Or, for that matter, who'll share a tale or two.
WHERE: The grassy area north of the memorial at Green 19
WHAT: A Howl!
WHEN: Under the light of the full moon
WARNINGS: Please put them in TLs if they apply to your story
The area has been cleared of rocks, making it comfortable for people to sit on the grass or some of the larger boulders that were already there. The full moon shines overhead, making it bright enough to see one another. While some people would put a bonfire in the center of the ring, Moonshade is doing this the traditional way; the Wolfriders avoid fire at all costs.
That said, she's gotten someone to cook a portion of the piglet-squirrels she's hunted to share with everyone, skewered and nicely charred, enough to go around. But there's also raw meat available for anyone like her, who prefers to have theirs fresh.
Moonshade directs everyone into a rough sort of circle, standing in the middle as she waits for the late arrivals. She's dressed in her usual leathers, but there's some flowers from the greenhouse tucked into her hair, something small and purple that catches the moonlight. "Thank you all for coming. My people, the Wolfriders, hold howls regularly. We sing to the moon as our wolf-friends did even before we joined them. And we tell stories. This is how we keep our history alive. I know that I don't share a history with any of you, but I could think of no better way to learn who you all are, what Way you live by, than hearing your stories, and sharing one of my own."
Her smile turns a little wry, and she glances at Steadypaw. "But before the stories, we sing." And the wolf moves from lying down to sitting, throws his head back, and lets out a proper howl. Moonshade joins in a moment later, closing her eyes. It's an eerie harmony between them--she can't help but wonder who'll join in. Or, for that matter, who'll share a tale or two.

OTA
He shows up a little early, and when Moonshade and the wolf begin the howl, he joins in as best he can, trying to remember the melody from the month before.
Once it's finished, he reaches into his bag and pulls out a few bottles from the Deep End, thunking them down in the center of the circle.
"Where I come from, when we tell stories, we drink. Help yourselves, everybody."
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Someone introduce this gal to cocktails someday, or something more refined than the bitter early beers humans have in her world.(no subject)
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I'm just gonna hop on down to the stories!
Obi-Wan OTA
Having brought Boga along, the Jedi sits with his large scaly and feathers mount. The Varactyl watching everything and everyone keenly as she laid down behind Obi-Wan, her tail curled around him. Once the actual howling commences, the Jedi pulls back his hood and joins in. It was a bit odd, but he was all for joining in on cultural practices that were important to others. To show both solidarity and respect. Even Boga joined in, though her howling sounded more like a high pitched wail.
Once it was time for stories, and it came to be his turn, Obi-Wan pulled up his hood again and withdrew a holocron. A bit different in appearance to what Kaz found on Coruscant but a holocron nonetheless.
“I would like to share with everyone a brief telling of the history of my people, the Jedi. It spans many thousands of years, which we clearly don’t have time to cover in depth. However, I hope you will enjoy it, and gain a better understanding of us, even if I will have to gloss over many points.”
Holding out his hands, the holocron in them then began to glow as he used the Force to unlock it. The geometric shape unfolding and projecting images that were stored inside. Going from one thing to another as Obi-Wan spoke. His voice soft as if reciting a sacred text.
“The Prime is one, but the Jedi are many.
Long ago was the first. Kli the Elder discovered the Force and his connection to it. Creating the first temple within the uneti on Ach-to.”
Obi-Wan goes on for some time. Waxing poetic about how the Jedi grew as an order and a people. Trained younglings and Padawans, and grew in knowledge. Eventually settling upon the sacred mount on Coruscant. The first kybers were discovered and following that the first lightsabers were made. The Jedi living in peace and harmony with the Force.
But of course every story has a dark turn. That of the schism within the order that led to the Sith. They being banished for tampering with the dark side. This resulted in many wars and bloodshed. Their dark, former brothers, causing only chaos and destruction in the galaxy.
Eventually though the Sith were defeated, thought to be eradicated. The galaxy and the Jedi enjoyed a thousand years of peace a prosperity as a result. That is until the Sith returned in Obi-Wan’s life time, bringing yet more death and destruction. The rise of war once more, which ended in the annihilation of the Jedi.
“Now the Jedi are few. Many millennia of knowledge left to those of us that are left. We mourn the loss of our brothers and sisters, but hope to preserve their memory. Even if all of us may leave this world, I hope that we may be remembered. Because I fear our own galaxy may one day forget.”
It’s then that the holocron folded up once more and went dark. The Jedi tucking it away in his robes. Whether anyone liked the telling or not, Obi-Wan was glad to have done it. Feeling more connected to his people once again and his memory of them.
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"Do you think the Sith could ever change?" he asks. "Like... you were all one, once. Could that happen again some day? The two of you coming back together. In your opinion, not in some prophecy shit or whatever."
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/could be seperate strand or not, do as you will!
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When the holocron finally closes, Star-lord looks a little disappointed, but happy nonetheless.
"That was ... amazing, bro. Is there a best story of the night award? I think you'd win."
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for avoidance of 4th Walling we'll say his world only had Spaceballs XD
LOL that works
:D
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OTA
She takes a deep breath and looks up at the moon before she begins to speak. "I've mentioned to some here that I have no deep love for humans. They took my daughter, and they took my first home from me too, burning my tribe out of our forest. But that's not what I want to tell today. It's important to understand, though. When our forest was burned, we ran into the tunnels of the trolls, seeking sanctuary. And they tricked us, sending us down a tunnel that led to a vast desert, and blocking the way we'd come from. We crossed the desert, scared and overheated, lacking water, lacking a sense of security, until we eventually came to a village of elves--which surprised us, because we hadn't realized there were any others in our world. This eventually led to our chief Cutter taking on a quest to unite all elves as one people. But in the meantime, we had to deal with the culture clash of joining another society."
There's a wry little laugh there. "The Sun Folk were peaceful farmers. Most of them didn't hunt at all, few had ever wielded a weapon. So we became protectors and hunters for their tribe. Some of us took some of them as lovemates, all of us learned something from one another. They'd never met a tree-shaper, so Redlance was a great help in ensuring a good harvest that year. And me, I spent a lot of time with Ahnshen, who worked to create clothing for his tribe. I taught him the basics of tanning, he taught me about fabric. It was from Ahnshen that I first learned about silk, so it's him as much as anyone you have to thank for the spidersilk we're working on now."
She begins to walk slowly around the circle, pacing a little. This story has a lot of feelings wrapped up in it for her.
"Ahnshen was interested in me as a lovemate, and I'll admit, I was fascinated by him as well. My lifemate and I talked about these things. Strongbow was more frustrated by the fact that Ahnshen wouldn't just ask me, than by any thought of having competition. Strongbow, my mate, is very direct. The Sun Folk rarely were.
"But Ahnshen, he wanted me to be a silk-swathed Sun Folk maiden, rather than as a Wolfrider. One night, he snuck out to watch us during a hunt, and when he saw me with blood on my lips, standing over my kill, he ran over and grabbed my wrist and told me I was not some ruthless killer, I was an artist like him."
Bitterness twists her face for a moment, her voice becoming sharper as she mimics Ahnshen's tone.
"I asked Leetah, our chief's mate, who came from the Sun Village to help me prove him wrong. I dressed in silks and Leetah's gold bracelets. Painted my face, wore my hair up. It all felt impractical, like I was some...ornament. And when Ahnshen saw me dressed in the clothing of his people, he realized he didn't want me like that, didn't want the toned-down image of what I am.
"The lesson here is this: we need to be able to look at one another here for who we all are, what we're bringing with ourselves, from our worlds. We can't let the desert mirages of who we want people to be fool us, or try to shape anyone into what we expect. I am Moonshade, ruthless hunter and talented maker. Now I ask you all--who are you?"
OTA
He's thinking of Maul, mostly, who'd wanted to thrown away everyone else he cared about to be Maul apprentice. A different sort of relationship, but the same principle applied.
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"Peter Jason Quill," he said after a moment's pause. "My mom was Meredith Quill, and she was the coolest lady ever. She taught me that you should care about people, and not let a-holes get away with treating anyone like crap. My dad was Yondu Udonta, and he taught me you can make people think you're an a-hole while actually being one of the ones who gives a crap. I'm a damn good pilot and an even better friend, especially if everyone else thinks you're screwed up. And if anyone messes with you they'll answer to me. Promise."
He pauses. "Oh. And I'll run a dance-off any day of the week."
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Cobb - OTA
After the howling was done he listened first. Let others have a chance to tell their stories and hear what folks chose to share. When a few stories had been told Cobb cleared his throat and stepped forward.
"Alright, now, I've got a good one," he said, rubbing his hands together. "How I met Mando and we killed a krayt dragon together. Those of you not from our galaxy a krayt dragon is an animal native to my home planet. Big bastard armored worms that swim through the dunes and burrow through rocks and mountains. I'm Marshal of a small town, not on any map of the planet, so it was big news when a stranger rode into town."
He looked over at Din, grinning shamelessly. Cobb had a way with words and he knew how to spin a good yarn. His main goal, besides sharing the story, was to see if he could make his partner roll his eyes.
"I didn't get a look at him but I saw a speeder outside the cantina and a little green kid going in after someone. So, I figure I gotta introduce myself. Welcome the stranger to town. I see this Mandalorian in gleaming bright beskar and I think to myself "hm, what could someone that fancy want with my town?". Turned out to be me. He was looking for a Mandalorian and heard there was one in Mos Pelgo."
"Now, there wasn't. There was me wearin' Mandalorian armor I bought off some Jawas. Mando didn't take to that well. He demanded the armor. I believe his exact words were "take it off or I will". Real good negotiator. I don't want to shoot a man in front of his kid or die over this but I need the armor to protect my people and I'm not going to make it easy. So, we're facin' off and I'm working out my best shot to make him duck so I can find some cover before he shoots me when the ground starts rumblin'. I know that rumble. The krayt has come to town. I ask Mando to wait while I check it out. He comes with me. When a krayt is movin' under the sand it rolls like water. Like a wave comin' towards you. Everyone's runnin' for their houses but one lonely bantha on the edge of town has no idea what's comin' for it. After the krayt bursts from the sand to swallow the bantha whole I look at Mando standing next to me and I see an opportunity. I'll give him the armor if he helps me kill the dragon."
And he went on telling them about how he got the armor and the encounter with the Tuskens in the canyon even imitating the howl of a massiff. He admitted that arguing with the Tusken over the black melon was not one of his better moments but he didn't think the flamethrower was necessary.
"Now, Mando tells me to get the krayt's attention while its tearing through my people and I've got a missile launcher on my back. How do you think I got its attention?" Cobb grinned wickedly. "I blast it right in the eye. That got its attention. It starts coming right for us. Mando asks me for the detonator so I had it over, figuring he's got a plan. I ask him what the plan is and you know what he tells me? He tells me to take care of The Child. Which, I admit, struck me as a bit odd at the time. I ask him what he's gonna do because the plan can't just be give me The Child. His brilliant response? He didn't know. I have about half a second to realize Mando doesn't have a plan before he uses the butt of his rifle to hit my jetpack and send me flyin'. I've got no control. All I see is Mando standin' his ground as this massive krayt comes bearing down on him and the explosive laden bantha and then it's just a wild tumble through the air."
"I hit the ground hard when I did manage to get control back and shut the damn thing off. Just in time to watch Mando and the bantha get swallowed. Whole. Those big jaws just close around 'em and the krayt goes into the sand. Now I know why he told me to look after the Child. But then while they're under there's this rumble, a different sort from the dragon movin' around. It bursts out of the ground, sides splittin' open from the explosion and who should come flyin' out of the beast's mouth like nothin' happened and that was the plan all along? Mando."
He jerked his chin at the man. "Like he meant to do it and knew he'd be fine. If it wasn't so impressive, it'd be annoyin'. The krayt's dead though. Improvisin' worked. I gave up the armor with a smile after that. Mando kept his word and I was sure as sunrises keeping mine. Told him I hoped we'd cross paths again some day. I didn't imagine it'd be when some aliens kidnapped us but I guess you tempt the Maker and interesting things happen."
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Admittedly, the whole threatening to kill Cobb was a little uncharacteristic for Din. But then, so was the situation. But he's silent as he listens to Cobb retell the tale. Also looking like he could very well be asleep, with the helmet tilted to the side, and a little down. Hands clasped in front of him. If anyone looks his way, he unclasps a hand to wave it in a dismissive gesture. Not anything like someone that pulled off the near impossible.
"Did what had to be done. Nothing more." Din 'humble dumbass' Djarin, ladies and gentleman. "Besides. I didn't fight alone. I had help." He nods back Cobb.
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"Hot damn, that was awesome," he beams. "You guys remind me of me and my crew. We fought an Abilisk, and those things sound an awful lot like a krayt dragon. Only these eat electricity. We got hired to take care of one that was really messin' with a planet ... took the four of us to surround it and take it down, and my buddy Drax did the same thing as Mando here."
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cw: genocide talk, abusive parenting, general Thanos Sucks details
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Re: Cobb - OTA
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OTA
"What is that...?" he murmured out loud to himself, having ignored his communicator for most of the day to focus on studying the mineral that seemed to be the primary element in power crystals. (And thus having missed the invitation.)
He paused, holding very still and listening very hard, going so far as to hold his breath for a few seconds, before abruptly jumping out of his chair and darting out of the room-
-only to rush back in, grab the blaster from the counter, and rush back out.
It wasn't hard to follow the sound, and as he got closer, he held the blaster at low-ready and wondered briefly if he was actually ready for what he might find: an ambush? hostages? a pack of wild animals that would probably have him for supper? or had already eaten some of the community? The lack of a bonfire's light certainly made it seem like the latter.
Of course, what he found when he got close enough, was a circle of Tembans all screaming for some reason, and he stood there, dumbstruck, blaster still gripped tightly with both hands aiming it at the ground.
"What...wh-"
It was unsettling enough to him, without context, that he took a step back, his mind flipping through every mission report he'd ever read about behavior altering entities, from nanites to viruses to drugs.
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“It’s all right, there’s no need for alarm.”
This said as the Jedi calmly rises from his spot and walks over to Drake. His hands folded in his sleeves. “You can put the blaster down. This is a peaceful gathering.”
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o boy, OTA
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"Ohhh my god, dude! Dude, your face."
Nevermind the guy has a blaster and might decide to just take Kyle's head off with it - he's never been particularly good at self preservation.
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"You know, it's rude to barge in on a ceremony with a weapon. You might want to put that down before someone gets the wrong idea."
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Kaz Brekker| OTA
"There's a lot that's different where I come from. For one, I'd never even considered the possibility of there being 'outer space' before coming here. Even things like flying ships are different from what I have seen of the sailing ships on the true sea."
Kaz shrugged.
"That's as good a place to start as any, I suppose. Where I'm from there are 5 major countries. Shu-Han, Fjerda, Ravka, Zemany and Kirch. Ravka has had separate wars going with one or both of its neighbors of Shu-Han or Fjera to the south and north respectively at any given time. It's made for rivalries or grudges that go back for hundreds of years. The most recent war of Ravka's has been the Ravkan civil war. That comes down to the difference between Ravka's first army, which are all plain human, and the second army, which are all grisha."
Kaz shrugged again.
"Fjerda disputes that grisha are human, but personally I don't really care. They seem human enough, just that they have longer life spans and can use magic."
Of course, the grisha would insist the various powers that they have are not magic, but it seemed like magic to someone that was not a grisha so that's what Kaz called it.
"They divide themselves up into three major orders, Corporalki, Etheralki, and Materialki. From there they divide themselves up even further under each order. Coporalki are Healers who repair damage to the body, Tailors that can change the body's appearance or Heartrenders who do damage to the body. Healers are pretty self-explanatory though I've known them to save people that most assuredly had mortal wounds. Tailors can alter a face, including even bone structure or the color of one's eyes. And Heartrenders can do damage to a body; burst the heart within your chest, stop the breath in your throat and even rupture eyeballs in your head. Etheralki are summoners of the wind and waves or fire. Squalers can summon storms or use their power to push a sailing ship. Tidemakers can use their power to create waves that can reach upwards of four stories tall then freeze that running water in place so it never breaks. Kirch, where I come from, is an island nation because Tidemakers that we call the Council of Tides, but have scrupulously kept their anonymity, have raised the sea to flood the land bridge that would connect Kirch to Shu-Han. Inferni can summon fire and that is as destructive as it sounds. Materealki are Fabricators and usually, they can alter objects, or make a new object from the components of another. Or build flawless things like unbreakable glass."
Kaz's cane was Fabricator-made. No one had seen him use it for anything other than a cane yet. But instead of plain wood it was instead solid enough to be as strong as a lead pipe with the crow's head as good as a cudgel and the whole thing was perfectly weighted to break bone.
"Ravka's civil war was between the first and second armies. It all started with an attempted coup that very nearly worked. After that it was a mess to try to figure out who was in charge since sometimes it was one side then sometimes it was the other. In the midst of the fighting, a lot of grisha refugees ended up in Kirch. There, at first, most signed themselves up as 'indentures' not realizing that they had basically signed themselves away as slaves. They learned to look at indenture papers more closely then. Some got wise enough to hire themselves out as mercenaries and while it was a gamble, they made serious money doing it.
But all of that is an explanation as to the limited advances in technology where I come from. Things that seem normal here are things I've never seen before. What the internet is. These 'smartphone' devices. It took enough time when I first came here to learn how to use them that I still don't think I've learned it all. But where I'm from there isn't much reason for technological advancement when you can just have a grisha do it better. I have the feeling of being behind the rest of the class, Some people I'm way behind and I don't like it."
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"I know what you mean, about feeling behind. My people, like yours, didn't develop an internet. Why would we, when we had Sending to reach one another across long distances? We don't have ships like there are here--we have the crystal palace and its flying magic. And...I think my world may be younger than some of the others here. Humans where I'm from, they don't have any of the machines or blaster weapons I've seen here. Nothing even like the 'water guns' yet. So I can sympathize with feeling like you're running to catch up with everyone else."
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Eloquent as always, this one.
He smiles at Kaz, because he operates under the assumption that they're friends. Bros, even. "Plus you're super smart, dude. Even if the tech is unfamiliar you've learned how to use it. So, yeah. Not behind at all, not really."
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OTA
"Master Kenobi already talked about the Jedi, and I don't know many old stories, anyway," he says.
"So I guess I'll talk about where I was born, and my birth parents and what happened to them." He takes a deep breath.
"I was born on planet called Lothal. It's not a rich world, but it's beautiful," he says wistfully. "Lots of grassland and farms and mountains on the main continent and forests in the north and south. Oceans and river. Many scattered villages and one shining big capital city on the coast, which is where I'm from.
Ephraim Bridger was my father. Mira Bridger was mother. I was an only child and I know the pregnancy was hard, and I was born early. On the day the Republic became the Empire. I used to think it was cursed luck that I was born on a terrible day, but now I think it's just....cause and effect. Palpatine started the Purge of the Jedi before he declared himself Emperor. Every Force sensitive in the galaxy probably felt something, as thousands of others strong in the Force were dying. Between me and my mom, who, looking back, I think was a little attuned, too - yeah, of course she went into labor early."
He shrugs. "Maybe that's part of why my parents never trusted the Empire. A lot of people just wanted the war that had divided the galaxy to be over, and for there to be law and order. My parents saw rule through fear and control. I don't know exactly when they started running broadcasts criticizing Imperial policy. But at some point, local authorities started listening to them and then the Empire arrested a bunch of people on Lothal all at once, including my parents. I hid, like they'd taught me to. I was seven, and I never saw my parents alive again."
Another deep breath, in and then slowly out. "Maybe I should have been mad at them. They knew the risks, and it meant I was alone, for a long time. And some days, I was angry at them, not just the Empire. But they just wanted people to stand up together. For about eight years, I didn't know exactly what had happened to them, after they were taken. I made myself assume they'd been executed, because waiting for them to come back was...too hard. Eventually, I found out that they hadn't been immediately killed; they'd been taken to a prison, and survived there for years. Until they'd heard a new broadcast against the Empire, originating on Lothal, one that was relayed far across the galaxy. They decided it was time for them and some of their friends to try to escape."
He looks around at the people listening. Keeping his voice from cracking, as he continues, is a visible effort. "Because I made that broadcast, and I talked about them, and they knew my voice. They tried to come home, but they were killed in the prison break. I know this because one of their friends who did make it home eventually told me. My parents died fighting for what they believed in. Even knowing what I know now, I wouldn't take what I said back. Too many people answered that call. That was just one step out of many, but since then, the rebellion has gone from isolated cells to an Alliance with a fighting chance. I know my parents wouldn't want it any other way. I'll miss them always, and they'll always be a part of me."
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Nat - OTA
On occasion she'll glance back at the group. A keen eye might notice it happens most often. when the subject of family comes up. Beyond that, she's listening and learning.
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OTA | CW: fatphobic and bad language, inappropriate child behaviour, death, terrorism, stupidity
"We start a lot of stories on Earth with, once upon a time. So... once upon a time, there was a little town nestled in the mountains. It didn't really have a lot going for it, but it did get a Whole Foods. Anyway, in this little town there lived a bunch of children, and among them was a fat racist self centered intolerant manipulating sociopath. One day he told all the children that he'd seen a leprechaun in the woods, and because kids are fucking stupid they believed him. Except for one little boy, who knew goddamn well leprechauns weren't real, and so the two made a bet: if the smart and rational little boy was right, the fatass would pay him ten dollars. If he was wrong, he'd have to suck the fatass's balls.
"So the kids all went to the woods to find this leprechaun and much to the rational little boy's horror, there was a leprechaun. The leprechaun said he had to warn of a terrorist attack, but the kids had made him late, and then teleported away.
"The next day, after NOT sucking anybody's balls because fuck you, the rational little boy and three of his friends were hanging out when this weird guy in a top hat appeared asking if they'd seen a leprechaun. He got them to climb aboard his imagination flying machine and then sang a magic song that transported them all to Imaginationland, where anything anybody has ever imagined lives. Turns out the weird guy was the Mayor of Imaginationland.
"All of a sudden, out of nowhere, a terrorist ran out and blew himself the fuck up, killing several of the residents of Imaginationland. The boys ran like hell and got on a dragon, except for one of them who kinda maybe had the worst luck ever - he was taken hostage. The other boys made it safely home.
"...then the fatass showed up with the stupid ball-sucking contract and took the rational little boy to court where it was ruled the contract had to be honoured within twenty-four hours. The fact that this is all this dipshit cared about speaks volumes. In fact, he threw a fucking party for it, but a military helicopter came and stole away the rational little boy and his super best friend and took them to the Pentagon.
"Meanwhile, the terrorists busted down a wall in Imaginationland that let out all the bad imaginary characters - all the shit you've ever been scared of. Any scary story you ever heard, any horror movie you ever watched... some really creepy woodland creatures... All of it.
"Back at the Pentagon, the boys explained they did not know how they got to Imaginationland, and the general dude in charge revealed that the U.S. government actually had built a portal there but it didn't work. They figured out that they needed the song to get it to work, so the boys had to try and remember it, which was hard because it fucking sucked. They managed to do it though. A bunch of soldiers and Kurt Russell were getting ready to go through the portal when the fat racist self centered intolerant manipulating sociopath crashed into the room and demanded the rational little boy suck his balls. While he was dressed as a king. Because he was the worst. But they were interrupted because Kurt Russell and the soldiers were totally murdered horribly by bad imaginary characters.
"And then..." Kyle pauses, looking uncomfortable. "Okay, there was this guy named Al Gore. And for YEARS he's been trying to warn people about a monster: Manbearpig. While the portal was open, Manbearpig came through, and it killed so many people in the room. Including the rational little boy. Manbearpig was sucked back through the portal, but so was the rational little boy's super best friend.
"So. The little boy was clinically dead. But the horrible ball-obsessed kid preformed CPR on him and brought him back to life. So he could suck his balls. They thought the rational little boy had some brain damage because he kept hearing voices - it turned out he could hear his super best friend.
"While all of this was going on, that poor unlucky kid who got left behind? He was trying to help the good residents of Imaginationland fight the bad ones. The Mayor was killed. A bunch of characters beloved by everyone on earth died. It was all a huge mess, leading up to a huge battle between the two sides. The little human kid, however, had something the imaginary creatures did not: he was real. He could imagine.
"The military decided the only thing to do was nuke humanity's imagination. This was a terrible idea, but the military is just like that. They figured because imaginary characters aren't real, they didn't need an approval to nuke them. The only upside of this is that if this were true, it would override cases such as Cartman vs. Broflovski.
"So the rational little boy could hear his super best friend, who told him he was witnessing the final battle, and he was with their unlucky friend, who was told he had to imagine Santa Claus. Santa is like... super powerful, you see. With him they good characters started to turn the tide of the battle.
"The rational little boy went to try and stop the nuke launch, and the fatass went too. They got into the Pentagon again, and explained to the military dudes that imaginary characters and things ARE real.
"And you know... they are. Imaginary characters have had more impact on everybody's lives than most real people, and they will still be around when we're all dead. Every single one of us can think of a story that isn't true but has taught us about how the world works, or morality, or love. These stories matter.
"So the military aborted the missile launch. But then Al Gore showed up in his cape, insisting they had to send the nuke to kill Manbearpig once and for all and hit a bunch of buttons and most everyone got sucked through the portal along with the missile.
"So the missile went off. And everyone died. Everyone except that one unlucky little human kid, who used his imagination to return everything to how it was before. Imaginationland - and by extension humanity's imagination itself - was safe."
He falls quiet once more, heaves a huge sigh, and says, "...aaaaand the evil fatass said anyone can make anything a reality by using their imagination. So he imagined himself, dressed as a King, getting his goddamn balls sucked, and fucking Santa and the stupid Mayor and the fucking stupid military general all agree that it counted BUT IT DOESN'T FUCKING COUNT.
"Anyway, that's the story of how everybody on the planet should be thanking a kid named Butters. Who totally got grounded."
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"So...wait imagination can be made literal where you're from?"
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