An open invitation

[ezra_of_lothal]

WHO: Ezra, other Jedi Temple residents, visitors, and spectators
WHERE: The Temba Jedi Temple and the area around it/former museum area
WHAT: Lightsaber practice and mingle OTA
WHEN: Several days after Billy’s spell breaks
WARNINGS: TBD (label threads if you can, please!)



Having his connection to the Force fully restored is strangely disorienting and unbalancing for Ezra, and he was never completely cut off from it. He can’t really imagine how his fellow Jedi, who now remember entire lives without sensing the Force, feel. So, for a few days, he does his chores, mediates a little, visits other people, and tries not to hover while the residents of the Temple area regain their inner footing.

Eventually, though, he gets a little restless. Maybe some focused movement with a purpose would help the other Jedi, too.

Network - Text

Lightsaber practice in the open area by the Temple area, early afternoon today. Myself and Master Kenobi at least, still working out details. I guess it’s never actually been said – people are welcome to come watch! It’s polite to stay quiet when there’s actual instruction going on, of course. Also, we’re usually working on lower power, but for safety please stay well back while blades are ignited.



It starts a little slow, warming up with katas, demonstrating and talking through sequences. Ezra’s particularly interested in learning more about Soresu, the defensive form for which Obi-wan had once been well known in the Order. He’s learned the fundamentals from Kanan, but getting to see Master Kenobi go all out in the salles at the Coruscant Temple had been enlightening.

Eventually they get around to the really fun stuff – practice duels. They should really do this on some varied terrain at some point, but for right now, it’s flashing blades, jumps, twirls and flips around the flat ground. Perfect for others to come watch and talk amongst themselves.

Ezra'a soon clearly in a much better mood, beaming as he extinguishes his green blade for a break.

Comments

[ezra_of_lothal]

"I told you the Emperor offered me a different life," Ezra says carefully, after a moment.

"I don't believe it was an illusion. There was a doorway to...another timeline, I guess. I saw my mom and day and felt them, and it took them a moment, but they saw me, too. Letting them go didn't mean I didn't love them. And they told me they loved me, after I told them I had to let me go, and I know it was true."

More reluctantly, he adds, "Even knowing all that, I have a hard time imagining them choosing to give me to the Order as a baby. But I also believe I was meant to be a Jedi. So...I don't have a good answer."

[hadthehighground]

Listening quietly, Obi-Wan nodded thoughtfully. He had never felt so conflicted about this topic before. Everything had been so clear cut and defined before he had lived Ben's life, and now he felt confused.

"I have met a few parents who gave up their children, and some told me that they wanted their child to have a better life as a Jedi. I want to believe that's how my parents felt about it as well."

Sighing softly, he still didn't look quite settled.

"Neither Ben or Obi-Wan would want to give up the life they had led. I was content in both lives, and yet, I wonder if there wasn't some truth to what Kaz had said. If perhaps I am a bit brainwashed. It's strange. I feel like I can see both sides of things now."

[ezra_of_lothal]

Ezra startles.

"Brainwashed seems like a pretty harsh word. There's lots of different cultures and lots of ways of doing family, right? People don't usually pay much attention to other ways of doing things unless they're forced to by circumstances."

This whole having memories of a totally different life thing was, admittedly, exceptionally weird and unsettling circumstances.

[hadthehighground]

"Yes, that's right," Obi-Wan says with a thoughtful frown.

He remembered being deeply insulted when Kaz had said that, and he agreed it was harsh. It was wrong even. Yet, now that he had Ben's perspective, doubt had creeped into his mind. Obi-Wan felt as if his world had completely shattered and now he was trying to pick up the pieces. Trying to sort out his thoughts and feelings from two different points of view. This is why he had felt so violated. Billy's mishap was potentially life changing for him.

"Before I never would have questioned it, but now, I'm not certain how to think."

[ezra_of_lothal]

"Ben also wasn't Force sensitive," Ezra points out.

"I wasn't, really, in that life, either. A little empathic. I didn't even get the sort of little hunches that saved my skin so many times growing up on my own Lothal. The sort of hunches that weirded out other kids my age."

[hadthehighground]

“Yes, and that’s part of the confusion. I’ve felt like I’ve lived an entire life without the Force, and now I have it again.”

He supposed Ezra knew more of what it was like to live without a strong connection to the Force or rather not knowing he had one. For Obi-Wan though it had always been there and he had always known. And as he said he could feel it a little in his other life. For Obi-Wan the two lives were like night and day.

[ezra_of_lothal]

"Right. You don't want to just ignore this experience that's so totally different, but at the same time how much of it is...applicable. Useful for you here and now?" he says out loud, trying to make sure he's following why Obi-wan is struggling so hard.

He offers a smile, but it lacks his usual confidence. "If it helps, I meant everything I said, especially right there at the end."

[hadthehighground]

“I don’t think I can ignore it, even if I wanted to. And part of me does.” Of course the part of him that was Ben didn’t want to forget. There was just so many conflicting feelings in him. More than he’s ever dealt with before, in either life.

However, the last part of what Ezra says causes him to look up and smile a little.

“So did I. I wouldn’t take any of it back.”

[ezra_of_lothal]

"Oh." Ezra smile warms into something more hopeful. "I wasn't sure how you'd feel about it. When...you could remember Mustafar again."

[hadthehighground]

There was a pause as Ezra brought up Mustafar. A touch of sorrow on his face as those memories came back to him.

“I loved Anakin more than I loved my own life,” he said quietly. “And I would have done anything if it could have saved him. Replacing him is unfathomable.”

Obi-Wan swallowed the lump that was rising in his throat before looking at the young Jedi. “But that doesn’t mean there isn’t room in my heart for others. I can still love you just as much.”

[ezra_of_lothal]

No, you wouldn't have done anything, Ezra thinks with a surge of fondness, but keeps that to himself.

Or maybe the distinction was 'what could have saved Anakin', and things that hurt innocent people wouldn't have.

"Ok," is what Ezra says out loud, eyes shiny and bright. "No replacing people we've loved. But we can still be Master and Padawan and brothers. We can be both those things."

[hadthehighground]

Maybe not. Though turning to the Dark Side certainly wouldn't have helped him or anyone. But if it would have saved him, Obi-Wan would certainly have given his life for him.

But the Jedi's smile broadened as he saw Ezra's face light up. "Yes, we can, and we will be. You won't be rid of me that easily." This said as he put his arm around Ezra and pulled him into a half hug. "Families come in all sorts of forms, as you well know."

[ezra_of_lothal]

"I do know," Ezra says warmly, leaning against Obi-wan.

Speaking of family they have in common - after a beat, he adds, "Wanna see the couple of pictures I managed to snag of Ahsoka?"

Really, it's a good thing they don't have to try to jam their family into some sort of diagram. It would be too confusing.

[hadthehighground]

“You have pictures of Ahsoka?” Obi-Wan is amazed as he hasn’t expected that at all. He’s heard Ezra talk about her of course and caught glimpses in his memories. But he would never turn down another chance to see her.

“Yes, I would very much like to see them.”

[ezra_of_lothal]

"I can be sneaky," Ezra says, grandly. "And determined."

He flips to one of Rex and Ahsoka chatting in the common area of the Ghost, Ahsoka rubbing her chin thoughtfully.

[hadthehighground]

"Oh yes, that I have no doubt of," Obi-Wan said with his own little grin. But as he saw the picture of Ahsoka, there was a mix of emotions. The Obi-Wan definitely overriding the Ben in that moment.

"Look at that. Her montrals have gotten so long. And something seems rather familiar about that pose too," he says while placing his hand on his own chin.

[ezra_of_lothal]

Ezra laughs, eyes dancing. "Now that you mention it-"

He points. "And that's Rex, if you couldn't tell. Echo said he looks pretty different." And there's none of the difference in the Force, that are so clear, in a holo. "He usually wears more of the old armor than Gregor or Wolffe."

[hadthehighground]

“Rex? Really?” Obi-Wan never really thought about what the clones would look like aged, but if he had he wouldn’t have imagined that.

“He gained some hair and lost the rest.”

[ezra_of_lothal]

"Wolffe still has a full head," Ezra remarks, and he flips to a picture, taken around a campfire with Wolffe, Gregor, and Rex all in frame.

"This one was about a week or so before I got here. Right we headed back to Lothal."

[hadthehighground]

That picture brings another smile to Obi-Wan’s face. They look happy despite everything that was going on.

“I’m glad they managed to avoid being shackled to the Empire and were able to make lives for themselves. Not what I had hoped for them, but it’s something.”

[ezra_of_lothal]

Ezra pauses. "Can I ask, what you did hope for them?" He doesn't want to pick apart the whole issue of the chips, or why the clones ended up fighting for the Republic under the Jedi. Not right now. Both he and Obi-wan are too rattled to go digging into something that potentially fraught.

But he figures the answer will tell him something.

"In my time - it's like the clone troopers were forgotten as much as the Jedi. Aside from what they've told me about themselves, I don't know anything."

[hadthehighground]

"Oh, well, it was perhaps just a pipe dream," Obi-Wan admitted. He didn't know what the plans were for the clones when the war was over. Though it hadn't really mattered in the end seeing as how Palpatine had always meant for things to end the way it did. "I had hoped that they would be able to be integrated into society. Give them each a life, dignity, and the means to do what they wished. I think we owed them at least that much."

While the circumstances surrounding the clones was certainly shady, many of them had been his friends. They owed them a great deal for fighting the war for and with them. It was just tragic the way it all ended.

"Ah, well, I suppose I'm the person you should ask." He didn't know everything of course, but Obi-Wan had been in the thick of things regarding the clones.

[ezra_of_lothal]

"At least that much," Ezra agrees quietly, gaze on the gaze fixed on the holo of Rex, and Gregor, and Wolffe. He knows Palpatine had somehow maneuvered everything so the troopers were seen as disposable. He just doesn't understand how so many people went along with it.

Then he shakes. "Let's not get into it right now. I'll think about what I want to ask."

He flips to a a new picture. "Kanan and Hera. Before he lost his sight."

[hadthehighground]

It's true that the clones were not always appreciated as they should have been. Part of that had been because of war, but they couldn't use that as an excuse. Many Jedi did value their clone comrades though, Obi-Wan and Anakin having been among those.

"Fair enough," Obi-Wan agrees and lets the topic drop for now. His gaze instead going to the picture.

"Your master?" His face softened as he looked at the picture more closely. They looked happy as well. "They make a lovely couple."

[ezra_of_lothal]

"My first master," Ezra replies, without any emphasis to draw attention to that correction.

"Hera taught me a lot, too. Basic mechanical repairs, and how to fly. A lot of social rules and communication life stuff I missed out on."