[Network Video]

[work_wife]

Hey, um... Help?

[Why does Robin need help? Well, look at the video. Well, the video itself shows Robin ducked behind one of the chairs in the darkened space of the Agrii theater. The question is why she's doing that. But then she goes quiet for a moment, a hint of a pink-purple motion near the top of the screen behind her. The young woman bites her lip until the motion is gone. Then she pulls the communication device closer and whispers even more frantically.]

I didn't sign up to babysit the first time. The turtle kid, Donnie? He was a good kid and smart and listened to me and I did my best when no one was around, okay? And the space station not-Chuck-E-Cheese? Yeah, that was to get money for stuff. But-

[She goes abruptly silent again at the sound of talking behind her in the Agrii language. Her eyes are huge. When the noises fade away, well, she breathes out a sigh of relief.]

But I didn't sign up to be an Agrii babysitter. Or teen watcher? Whatever. I made a mistake. I taught a group of about ten of them about hide-and-seek. We've been playing for three hours. They keep starting over again. They seem to love the idea. I can't get a break. Please. I need more people to join in, or at least distract them.

I'm not made to be a babysitter!

Comments

[ video ] »

[ephemerios]

I don't know, I think you must be doing a good job at it — three hours is a while! [ she's playfully teasing you, Robin, see this smile? ]

[work_wife]

This isn't the first round, Chrissy. It's not even the tenth round. I'm getting tired.

[ephemerios]

Okay, here's what you can do.

[ Said in a tone that's very 'listen to me carefully because this is a a great idea, hear me out' way. ]

Find a really good place to hide that is also comfortable is step one. Step two is fall asleep.

[ A+ plan ]

[work_wife]

[Okay, she's listening. She listens to a lot of Chrissy's ideas.

And then she looks disappointed.]

They'll shake me awake.

[ephemerios]

Earplugs and a sleeping medicine? something has to get them bored enough of trying to get you back in the game that they just go on and have fun themselves.

[Video]

[farrahfawcetts]

[ Steve is laughing his ass off. He's honestly wiping tears away from his eyes. But he also seems to be walking somewhere so maybe he's coming to help? Or maybe he's just out for a stroll. Who can say? ]

You know, if you keep talking, they're gonna find you in no time. Shouldn't have picked a game that asks for you to stay silent.

[work_wife]

[Oh, if you're coming here, she's giving you to these children and you are going to regret the laughter.]

Oh my god, whisper dingus!

[work_wife]

They're kids. I'm not drugging them.

[ephemerios]

Ha, no, for you. You take the nap in a nice spot. They get bored of your sleeping.

[farrahfawcetts]

[ Who knooooows... ]

Look, you need a game that doesn't involve you. Something like Red Light, Green Light. They can play that all by themselves and leave you alone.

[work_wife]

They haven't respected that yet.

[work_wife]

[She better soon.]

You going to teach them Red Light, Green Light? Be my hero?

[farrahfawcetts]

[ Yeah, yeah. He's on his way. She should recognize the background where he's walking now. ]

You're helping me. I need someone who knows the game to demonstrate it. And also, if you leave me with all those kids I am going to smother you in your sleep. You won't even know it's coming, Buckley.

[work_wife]

Wow, you're assuming I know it.

[She does. Clearly. But that doesn't mean she wants to stick around. She could totally just abandon him. He'd forgive her.]

[farrahfawcetts]

[ Smother. In. Your. Sleep. Or will tell Chrissy embarrassing stories about you. ]

If you don't know Red Light, Green Light, I am going to laugh at you. Everyone knows that game. It's like tag or Capture the Flag. Right of passage in school.

[ He is pretty close and is pretty sure he can hear Agrii children chattering. ] Where are you hiding?

[work_wife]

[Wow, do not tell beautiful, sweet cheerleaders who do crimes with her the embarrassing stories! Robin's already embarrassing enough as it is!]

You assume I played a lot of games in school. Nerd, remember? We play different games.

Behind some seats. Just be careful.

[farrahfawcetts]

[ Steve walks in and...okay. This is...funny. The children seem to be scouring the area, including areas that are completely impossible for Robin to hide behind. ]

HEY! [ He waves his arms to get their attention.] Time for a new game! Robs, come out! Your hero arrives!

[work_wife]

[The children of course are paying attention to Steve now. One could say their eyes are wide, but perhaps they are often so. And Robin? Her head pops up from behind a seat.]

Well, if it isn't Material Girl's boyfriend.

[Yes, she saw that exchange. She approved.]

[farrahfawcetts]

You need to call him that when I'm around. I think he'll turn purple.

[ He waves her over and smiles at the collection of children. He goes over to where there is clear space and stands at one end. ]

Okay. We have a new game. And Robin and I are going to show you how to play. Okay?

[ He points at Robin. ]

Stoplight or runner?

[work_wife]

I think he would too. Purple is a material too, right?

[She moves over and watches all the eyes on them. That's so eerie, the extra eyes.]

Uh, do we really want to trust me running?

[farrahfawcetts]

Huh. Fair point. Okay, be the stoplight.

[ He looks back at the kids and...yeah. Those eyes are pretty strange to see focused on him. ]

Okay. So to play, you need one person there and the rest of you are over here. [ He uses a lot of gestures to get this across. ] Then the person there turns around and... [ He waves at Robin to do the whole bit so he could run forward and dramatically fall when the red light comes on. A great example of what not to do. ]

[work_wife]

[Yeah, this much she can do. Helps that Robin gets jumpy over things running at her. Thanks Upside-Down. Can't even help but turn around to catch Steve when he picks up speed. Please man, don't be like that.]

Go back to start!

[farrahfawcetts]

[ The children seemed to be chattering and intrigued by the show. Steve stood up and walked back to the start. ]

See? I can only get closer while she can't see me. [ He covers his own eyes to make this clear, even pretending to try and cover his non-existent third eye. ]

And when she turns around, I have to not move. Or else I go back. Okay, come here and try.

[ The kids, kind of unsure, walk over to Steve, blinking. One tries to cover their eyes and Steve pushes hands away. ]

Nope. Just Robin. Go ahead Robin!

[work_wife]

Alright. When I see someone moving when I turn around, I point at you and you have to go back to the start.

[She turns back around. And of course the children are already racing forward, and Robin yelps and turns around.]

No. No no no. Sneaky!

[farrahfawcetts]

[ Steve grins and calls the kids back in line with him. ]

Okay guys. She's gonna say 'Green Light' and then we're all gonna try and get to her. But we have to wait.

[ They blinked their big eyes and nodded. They were weird but cute. God, he was a sucker for kids. ]