revivalproject | Murder on the Gold Saucer Express

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Murder on the Gold Saucer Express

WHO: It was you!
WHERE: On the airship!
WHAT: With the candlestick!
WHEN: Moments after...a horrible crime has taken place! Also during the Eorzea trip.
WARNINGS: This is a murder mystery, so both of those things are going to happen. Mark it if you get gory or weird about it.
NOTES: Go here for some OOC organizing.

The Dock

Those teleporting crystals were extraordinarily advanced for a society that didn't have computers, but none of them were going to give Tony an aerial view of the land like a proper flight could. A flight like in one of those ships he had seen trundling along; not proper jets or even blimps, but something that looked like an enthusiastic hot air balloon hauling the hull of an entire sailing ship. Ridiculous, and a far more straightforward path than getting himself in the sky and then having to answer some invasive questions for the display.

A regular, dedicated loop to the Gold Saucer advertised itself as travelling in style, a glitzy prelude to the indulgence of the games, a proper pre-party party bus. It looked much shabbier in person. Tony raised a lip as he stood on the dock and the boarding plank was dropped unceremoniously with a crack, disgorging a footman who's jacket was threadbare and had long lost the lustre of the gold piping around the collar. Tony lifted his chin to try to see past the man and into the ship, only to be suddenly jostled back.

"I have the right to be here, Hedda!" a woman shrieked as another, presumably Hedda, came careening into Tony. Tony stumbled, but was quickly catching himself and her, only for her to shove him off to go barrelling back at her attacker with her own fists raised. Tony's catch became a hold on her elbows to try to draw her back as the crowd around them spread out, with nervous gasps.

"You have the right to leave, too, Vedis, so get walking!" Hedda snarled, taking very little heed of Tony trying to stop her from clawing a woman's eyes out.

"Not until Rhitfedar has heard how much damage he's doing. Every cent he spends on you is blood money!"

No amount of Tony's attempt to soothe, "Hey, okay, hey, let's calm down," was going to be heard over Hedda screeching, "You're just jealous! Stop following us around!" Tony had to physically drag her back until enough people poured into the gap made between them and apparently her mortal enemy, streaming toward the ship. She finally wrenched herself away, fussily straightening her clothes and her hair, then cast Tony a startlingly coquettish smile. "Goodness, I don't know what came over me, she's terrible, really, has been since school, she drives everyone around her crazy, it's a miracle she hasn't gotten herself killed. Say, you look like you've got some extra cash on you, do you mind buying me a ticket? I seem to have dropped mine, and I'm supposed to meet someone..."

"All aboard!" the shabby footman's voice rang out startlingly clear, and Hedda was clinging pathetically to Tony's arm then, her gaze darting to every piece of metal on him. She was getting on that ship, one way or another.

-----

The Lower Deck

"What do you think?"

A man was practically pressed against Tony's shoulder, his hand raised to wiggle his fingers under Tony's nose, making them clatter with the array of rings there all adorned with polished, glimmering seashell shards. Tony raised his eyebrows, trying to come up with the kindest possible answer, and was relieved by the man himself who continued, "I know, they're awful. Some of my worst work. The only money I'll be making back is if I sell that atrocious piece of land." He was barely actually talking to Tony, but the other men who had been standing with him, letting Tony nod slowly and turn back toward the window where he was watching the city retreat below them. "Swarming with adventurers anymore, even if there was better materials to find there they've been long since cleaned out. That dungeon. Ugh. You'd think one of them would be good enough to buy it."

"You could give it to me," one of the other men offered, voice all grit. "Call your debt even. No more worrying about the money, I won't even have to kill you anymore." Tony tried his best to catch a glimpse of him out of the corner of his eye while sidling away, not particularly eager to be surprised by another fight so soon. Maybe if he could flag down that footman, he could get more of that cheap wine in them and defuse the situation.

"Oh, well, that..." the artist was demurring, waving his clattering hands. "That speculator, Rhitfedar, he said something about a new resort, maybe, it would be a great investment for him, worth quite a bit up front, I was hoping to catch him, make so much more for both of us, really, without having to do the development work..."

---

The Dining Room

The buffet was mostly grey. Tony inspected a cracker, wondering the likelihood of getting food poisoning from something dry and stale, and if alien food poisoning was less likely to effect him or more likely to kill him. "Rhitfedar," said a voice at his elbow, to which Tony dropped the cracker and turned his attention to a bowl of dusty, wrapped candies. The voice cleared its throat, and tried again, "Mr. Rhitfedar?"

It was the footman. Tony turned, glanced around, then gestured to his chest with the candy that he had plucked up, and eventually had to accept that it was him that the footman was trying to address. "Uh, no, sorry," he said.

"Oh." The footman didn't seem to know what to do with this information, and held the box he was carrying out toward Tony anyway, which locked them in another awkward stalemate until the footman insisted, "But I saw you come in with Hedda. This package has been on board for you since this morning, if you could sign here."

"Still no, and not expecting a package," Tony tried again, inching away, not really hungry anyway and leaving the candy on top of the box for the footman's grand effort. "Good luck, honestly, he can't have gone far, step out there is pretty steep."

When Tony glanced back from the doorway, the footman was chewing slowly and peeking inside the box, brow furrowed and looking harried. To the next person who approached the buffet table, he blurted, "Mithtuh Whyfe-er?"

---

The Bathroom

Absolutely everyone on board this ship was turning out to be too touchy and potentially insane, and they had barely gotten off the ground. Tony had to make a quick retreat from an elderly woman with a very wide smile and very sticky hands before she took a bite out of him, leaving her waving her handkerchief after him and promising to have a glass of wine for him when he was done as he slipped into the security of the bathroom. Hastily, he secured the lock and braced the door for good measure as he caught his breath. This had not been his best idea, and getting an aerial view of the area wasn't even telling him anything useful. Slowly, he turned to face what new damp, dusty horror the facilities had to offer him, only to freeze, expecting bad and somehow getting worse.

There was a man on the floor.

Tony tried the footman's tactic, clearing his throat, to no avail. Right, that probably wasn't going to rouse this man any more than Tony's entrance had. Tony dropped to his knees then, gently touching a shoulder first, then trying a shake, before leaning closer to listen for any sign of breathing. That was about what he expected. Desperately, he glanced around for anything that might help as he searched for a pulse, finding only clammy skin and an empty box knocked under the dripping sink, newsprint spilling out of it, but nothing that would rouse a man from the dead.

He had to pull himself together and hurry back to the door, where he flung it open, only to brace his arm against it then throw his body in the way of another gentleman that had been waiting patiently outside. "Um," Tony started, bringing his free hand up to search for the proper phrase that conveyed the urgency of the matter, without inducing a panic on an airship. "Would you mind finding the footman?"

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In a way the mysterious (or perhaps better read, creepy) figure fit aboard the ship much more than the fancy-dressed folks who clashed or complimented the efforts made to have the airship appear just as grand and elegant (or gaudy) as one might expect of a ride bound for the Gold Saucer.

Most of the passengers ignored it, or made it a point to avoid eye contact as though afraid that doing so would invite a hug. Others caught themselves meeting that soulless gaze and hastily went in a different direction. And yet no one really seemed to question its presence- every now and then it was to be expected, having a mascot around to pester people in an attempt to entice them to some particular thing to see or another over at the Saucer itself, but it was just plain unsettling having one standing around without engaging anyone that people were on the fence as to which was worse. Subjected to humiliation by a bubbly character or...this.

It made it a point to occupy the most unobtrusive corners, but then that was probably what made it worse whenever someone came across it. Tony might feel in particular that the thing was watching him more often than not, but surely that was just a silly notion. Maybe it was just a statue loaded aboard, because the thing hardly seemed to move. Perhaps it was someone's idea of a joke, wheeled around when no one was paying attention, just so it could be found elsewhere to start building up an already unintentional paranoia.

And given Tony's experience just then, stepping outside of the bathroom to nearly careen into the green-clad figure is probably another heart attack he could do without.

". . ."

It's not quite the same as experimenting in the alchemist's guild, but the airship's infirmary offers at least a few things for Wilson to toy with and it has been easy enough to get access to it. He had overheard an urgent inquiry while at the docks that they needed a new doctor on their ship to be permitted to launch since their regular one went... Missing. And while Wilson refuses to make use of his title on any ordinary day, he saw the opportunity here and went for it. So now he had access to a new little lab with no one to disturb him until-

Until someone called him to the dining room for what they claim to be an emergency. It isn't. Not as far as Wilson is concerned as he bends over the still body. "Well, he's dead." He states, unimpressed. "Not sure what you want me to do about it, but I already have a body in the infirmary so if you people find any more, you'll need to find somewhere else to store them." He taps the side of the beak of his mask with a single finger while tipping his head towards the nearest footman. "Also someone may want to figure out who's poisoning all these people. Because I'm sure they've been poisoned. So if you'll excuse me, I'm going back to work. You can drop the body off whenever you have time."

The...thing was the last problem on Tony's mind then. He hadn't noticed it right away, but when he did, he couldn't stop seeing it, and mostly it had him quickly leaving a room once he had spotted it. This had run him out of rooms very quickly, limited supply up in the air. Sometimes, he tried staring back, which only left him open to attack from some other incredibly strange person that he had a much harder time shaking. He didn't think his trip could get much more unsettling, and then that whole experience was quickly wiped by the dead body he had just touched.

The frog thing was generous enough to bring it all screaming back. Luckily, Tony could talk enough for the both of them, first in a string of curses that had likely never been spoken on this planet before as he started to step back, then found himself caught between a rock (horrible staring frog) and a hard place (dreadful stiffening corpse). Of the two, he did prefer that the frog was upright to hear his brief rant about his heart condition as he used the doorframe to brace himself and clutch his chest, and that it had a better chance of being receptive to a flick of his fingers and request, "Could you--not--right now, I've got other stuff going on, this is not helping."

In all honesty Cayde wasn't outright trying to freak out his good buddy. Unfortunately there wasn't much option for chatting it up between there being a lot more people than expected on this boat and having to keep a low profile in regards to your handsome robot face. The visual range was flat-out atrocious in the confining costume, and Cayde was only lucky to have Sundance help out with her radar as to where people were. Corners seemed the best place to stay out of the way after one poor unsuspecting traveler was nearly accidentally trampled underfoot simply for being unnoticed and sprawled out in a drunken stupor on the floor.

And now here was Tony- the expression one he was sadly familiar with. Green shoulders hunched almost sheepishly as Tony tried to calm down. He raised his hands in a hopefully non-threatening manner, froggy-head tilting curiously as he wondered what all was this other stuff the man was going off on, unless Tony was trying to hide from extra clingy passengers.

There wasn't a lot the staring frog could do to seem non-threatening, its every action accompanied by those big, dead eyes--okay, not dead, death was too immediate for that comparison, and the body's eyes had a distinctly milky cast that the frog blissfully lacked. But they were unsettling and persistently tracked Tony even through that tilt of its head that had Tony grimacing, and having to rapidly determine what possible question the thing could have for him now, of all times.

"This is, full disclosure, not the worst day of my life, but it's going pretty bad, so I'm not really in a place to be buying what you're selling," he tried again, this time with a small shooing motion with one hand to urge the frog along to his frog business. "Nothing personal." This was an obvious lie, because just about everyone on board seemed to be taking the frog's presence pretty personally. It was those insistently staring eyes that had Tony elaborating, feeling compelled under their great, blank weight to somehow fill the void they were creating, "Nothing is on fire, so, that's good, that's a change of pace, as far as I can tell there is no reason to believe this ship won't land, so, hey, cheers to that. So." With every 'so', he gave another nod, trying to lead the frog-man away into his body-free future.

The next one up to the buffet table was certainly not a man, nor even an adult for that matter. After being convinced to head down to the planet, Ami had dutifully put on attire allegedly for 'scholars' and spent quite some time studying said scholars. She had the same notion that Tony had, that getting an aerial lay of the land would be advantageous. And Triple Triad sounded fun.

The commotion at boarding had put her social anxiety to the test, but she already had a ticket in hand. The trip so far involved the schoolgirl doing her best not to stay in any location for long enough to get calls of "Where are your parents." Alas, the plan ran into complications while seeking out some food for the long trip. Apparently there are now bodies and boxes and missing people?

Giving the footman a rather unimpressed scowl for his lack of manners, Ami's gaze had darted towards the retreating Tony only to suddenly stare horrified at Wilson. Not wanting to attract attention to herself, at least not beyond her rather notable attire, she said nothing. People are dying, however, and its kind of best to avoid becoming the next victim.

So as Wilson retreated to the infirmary, there's a scholarly blue-haired girl once again trying out her sneak skills behind him. That was a rather quick explanation, obviously he knew something!

"If anything's on fire, it wasn't my fault," came the extremely muffled, however somewhat familiar voice that came from the unblinking frog's head. The eyes were an ill attempt at bubbly adorable that might have been the ultimate goal. There was a mistakably solid body within the green suit, and it did not budge very easily as the frog's head turned distractedly towards the bathroom door, thoroughly convinced that Tony was hiding something.

"Also this ship better land because it is nothing as advertised and I would like to demand a full refund."

It took Tony a beat to align the voice he knew with this hideous visage, staring in disbelief until the voice was quite done and they had a luxurious time to consider the hum of the engines and their likelihood of reaching their intended destination. It was nice to forget about the corpse for as long as it took Tony to make this connection. Eventually, he had to accept that something must be on fire if Cayde felt the need to defend himself, and demand, "What are you wearing?"

The frog looked down at himself, gesturing in a manner that implied 'isn't it obvious?' But even then it was a little hesitant. "I mean, I could've done worse," he admitted. "Anyway, this was supposed to be a quick job but this ride has been amazingly boring!"

He planted his hands at his hips, head tipping up and down as though to size Tony up. "...I can't see a damned thing in this. Does this thing even have eyeholes? I don't think it has proper eyeholes- I am going to be very upset if the eyeholes are up in the eyes that obviously no normal person has access to!"

Of course he's being followed. Wilson hates being followed. He still pretends not to notice her. Though the fact that he leaves the door to his workspace wide open can be considered a hint that he knows. That he is perching at the edge of ~~the doctor's~~ his desk, facing the door with his arms crossed may potentially be considered a hint as well.

Now the real question here: Will his pursuer dare to enter or not?

This would've been the perfect moment for Sailor Mercury to just stride through the door like a badass. Unfortunately, there's no Sailor Mercury here. Only mild mannered young scholar Ami Mizuno, who is now having a speed debate in her head on taking up the offered invitation and how. What Would ~~Minako~~ Clark Kent Do?

Ultimately, she will tentatively peek into the infirmary, giving a frightened gasp as she spots Wilson. "Oh, you were expecting me!" said completely innocently. "My apologies! I was a little curious about your analysis!"

It was only because Cayde was the one wearing it and thus did not have to experience it that he could possibly think this sartorial moment could have been any worse. The creeping skepticism of Tony's raised lip snapped into a righteous frustration, mouth a thin line and eyes wide at the suggestion that this experience had been too boring and not a nightmare, while Cayde rambled about eyeholes.

Abruptly, Tony grabbed Cayde by the front of his hideous suit, and dragged him through the bathroom door.

It slammed behind them, leaving them in the humming quiet of the bathroom, tiles echoing the sound of the engines back at them, and the sound of chatter and laughter distant through the wood of the door. The sink dripped, and clearly had not been cleaned recently enough, and there was a wad of paper soaking in the toilet bowl, and neither of those things was as horrible as the dead body between them.

His lips still tight together, Tony widened his eyes emphatically at Cayde, then flung both of his hands at the problem.

"Yrk-!" The giant frog stumbled in after Tony, and there was an awkward moment of silence sans the muted ambiance of the ship beyond those doors and the airship's inner workings that felt it needed to remind them any chance it got that they were not somewhere stationary. Unblinking eyes stared at Tony for a moment before shifting in an unhelpfully creepy manner to look towards the rest of the bathroom's occupants at the gesture.

"...oh."

That certainly was a problem, and at least the disguised Exo had the right mind to not jokingly suggest that Tony was the culprit. Poor guy was already wound way too tight as it was. With a grumble Cayde pulled off his froggy head, which might have been horrifying in its own right if there'd been nothing beneath it. Sundance had apparently been sitting on his head, now freely floating as she no longer had to suffer the confines of a faux frog skull.

"You just found him now?" Cayde asked, still not budging from where he'd come to stand.

Sundance wasn't often just out like that, so Tony was once again startled, already tense shoulders lifting another fraction and hand back on his chest before taking a stealthy step back, bumping up against the door and eyeing her suspiciously. This was not the time for that, though, they had a more immediate problem, that up until now Tony did not have any strong reason to believe wasn't a tragic accident that was dangerously close to generating more if too many people got too excited about it.

Now that he knew someone that killed people was also on board, he had another theory.

"Yes, I just found him," Tony hissed. "You're lucky nobody else did. Haven't we talked about this?"

The beaked mask just looks at Ami devoid of any expression. "Analysis?" Wilson tips his head, arms unfolding and one hand gesturing mildly towards her. "Of you sneaking after me like a bearger that just spotted a full food storage? Well. You were as obvious as a bearger that just spotted a full food storage. So what do you want?"

The Ghost watched him back before turning to regard the body lying there.

Cayde was staring back over at the unfortunate victim as well before blinking to redirect his stare at Tony then. At least it wasn't through a frog's head. "Come again? Talk about what?" He obviously hadn't connected the dots like Tony was.

Pushing himself away from the wall to draw up to his full height, as though he needed to look any more in control next to Cayde in his frog costume, Tony repeated, "This," with a press of both hands toward the man on the floor. "There is no amount of money that you should be willing to take, for this. It's not even our planet, we don't know these people, I don't care how much of an asshole he is. Was."

Cayde blinked a few times, still staring as he finally started to see what Tony was getting at here. "...oh my g- you think I killed this guy?? Damn it Tony, I'm not a hitman!" He looked genuinely hurt that the man even thought this was his doing.

"For the record, I haven't taken any guard jobs either- at least none that involving people. Giant killer critters, yeah, but you try walking out there without something leaping at you. C'mon Sundance, maybe we'll ditch the boat after all," he said as he began to turn, lifting the froggy head up.

Cayde taking offence to the accusation had not ranked in Tony's list of expected outcomes, making him blink rapidly in surprise at Cayde's defence, and entirely unprepared for the idea that he would just...leave. The last time they had been set free on a planet, Cayde had found an excuse to make some bodies, and now here was a body with Cayde secretly nearby, how else was Tony supposed to take this? His surprise pinched into a stubborn frown, not yet willing to accept that his wildly jumping to conclusions could be that harmful.

"That's fine, that's great, sure, I'll take care of this," he griped, one hand up to wave Cayde on and leave Tony where he had found him with this mess. "Somebody's just killing people on board. I'll meet you back at your place, let you know when something interesting happens."

Cayde never shot anyone who hadn't shot at him or killed someone else first. That he was the first culprit Tony was willing to pin it on all simply because he was there stung, and all he'd been trying to do was make some side cash with this dumb mascot job at a venue they hadn't even reached. He waited for Sundance to get settled, pausing from pulling the head back on.

"If you want, sure," he said with a shrug, defensively flippant. "You can go run out there and say there's been a murder, and I'll keep an eye out for someone who might be eyeballing you as their next target."

As though they had any chance of ignoring the tension now, Tony insisted, "No, I can't just go out there and say there's been a murder, because all of those people will freak out, they're already drunk and...weird--" except he hardly cared about making that point. He didn't even take a breath to redirect, "I'm sorry," aggressive, definitely not sorry, "I don't know what you expected me to think after lurking around and not talking to anyone this whole time. Maybe if we had a foundation of you not killing people to work from, we could have moved passed this already."

"Maybe I didn't want to accidentally knock anyone off the edge of the ship or step on them because I can't see in this stupid thing! Not to mention people were avoiding the creepy frog anyway!" Cayde said as he rounded on Tony, annoyed mostly at the apology that wasn't.

"Also, implying that I would make a blood bath of a pleasure cruise- it's like you don't even know me!" He dropped off suddenly as he realized his voice was picking up, his optics flicking upwards at Sundance before glancing towards the door as he wondered if anyone might've overheard.

That was probably reasonable, Tony was definitely avoiding the creepy frog whenever he turned up, so the frustrated scrunch of his nose became an irritable suck of his teeth, fang bared in a snarl as he folded his arms stubbornly and kept his head turned toward the door like he was still listening for any sign they had been heard outside long after Cayde cut himself off. What was Tony supposed to say to that? He certainly didn't know Cayde's boundaries.

"Well, I didn't do it," Tony eventually muttered, still not looking at Cayde, or the problem to be reckoned with on the floor.

"I wouldn't have pegged you for it," Cayde said, finally relaxing a bit as he ran through the scenario in his head again. He was still a little miffed about it, but obviously Tony was high-strung about things and he wasn't quite sure it was entirely due to the dead man lying on the floor.

He lowered the frog head again, tucking it under an arm as he turned back towards Tony. Sundance would let them know if anyone was approaching the bathroom, at least.

"So what should we do about it? You were saying something about getting the footguy or something..?" he prompted.

There wasn't anywhere for the shame of that accusation to go, so Tony rolled his eyes and let his arms drop limply with a sigh of acceptance for it. Good friends didn't accuse friends of murder. He had to gather himself up again, elbows tucked in and hands with nowhere to go now because they were not eager to get any closer to the body again, and sidled away from Sundance and the door with a watchful stare.

"I thought..." he started, sighing again to focus with some relief that Cayde still seemed like he was going to help, "If he had been murdered, then we can't freak everyone out, and we have to figure it out before this boat lands or whoever did it is just going to walk away. We have to get him out of here without anybody seeing, and we have to figure out what happened to him."

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Murder on the Gold Saucer Express

a long introduction that ends up at the bathroom

Infirmary > Dining Room - Adding some bodies~

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Bodies, huh.

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