The disconnect between Tony's body and his awareness made every move feel like some deeply coded instinct, the ones that he couldn't fight and didn't even know how to; didn't even know how to scream his frustration. The one thing he should have still had control over, the thing that he always had control over, wasn't even his anymore, he realized as that incredible agony bore down on him and this time he had to bear it, this time he had to feel the heat and that pressure instead of the darkness and that bloom of light, that had him sure that dying would be better than this. That was the key. He wasn't being allowed to die.

What a curse to realize more than once.