revivalproject | You Pick Yourself Up You Keep Going

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You Pick Yourself Up You Keep Going

WHO: Cal Kestis and you?
WHERE: His workshop, the museum/Jedi temple, or over in Sh'Ka
WHAT: Going through the motions/general-doing-stuff
WHEN: Mid-November
WARNINGS: N/A
NOTES: Will match pose pref

Even when you expected the inevitable didn't necessarily mean you were prepared for it. It hadn't been long and yet the absences were noticeable ones for the gravity some of them held in the Force. It would be too easy to be angry or grieved, but Cal would admit to feeling neither. He wasn't sure if it was still a lingering effect of everything from a few weeks prior or just a blanketing culmination of exhaustion. He felt like he was moving through a fog, but he knew that if he didn't keep doing things, he'd fall back into an all too familiar state of mind.

But he wasn't alone, and there were still others here whom he deeply cared about. It didn't mean he wouldn't miss those who had gone, but he was thankful for the chance to have spent some time and gotten to know those whom he knew he wouldn't have met outside of these unique circumstances. In time they'd all go back, and that would be a bittersweet moment, one that he didn't want to dwell upon.

In the meantime there are still things to be done. Sh'Ka still has plenty of work if he feels like throwing himself back into things there, so Cal casually splits his time between there and Temba as he works his way through whatever this funk is.

If found at his workshop, he'd be tinkering with salvage, fixing up some portable heaters in preparation for however cooler the weather might become. His place is always open to anyone who might want to poke around for some parts for anything, and he's amassed quite a bit of it for the time he's been in the city.

Some days he heads out to the museum grounds where the Jedi temple had been established, now mainly just in name, empty and still. He might be caught one of those days in the process of packing up what little things he had brought for his room there to bring back to the workshop, trailed by a playful Tooka cat. Otherwise he can be found in an open area of the grounds, going through some lightsaber forms.

Over in Sh'Ka the padawan decides to keep to a light workload, handling whatever maintenance needs to be done that he might come upon. For sure he'd have a look around the greenhouse as he'd promised Tommy.

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"Yo."

Of course Tommy would poke his head in. The guy was at least polite enough not to race in, so he can instead come over to where Cal is and settle down near the other.

"Whatcha doing? Can I help? I promised to help."

Edited 2021-11-19 04:08 (UTC)

"Hey Tommy," Cal said, glancing up from where he was tightening a few bolts to keep the small generator from rattling around when it was powered on. "Just thought I'd get more of these fixed up so they'd be available if anyone needed them. I'm not sure how cold it gets around here, but things have already started to feel a lot cooler."

He set the spanner down, tipping the heater up to stand. "Over here," he said, stepping to another counter where a few more heaters in various states lay, some still together, others freed of their housing and missing internal pieces. "These were the most salvageable, but lots of them still need a few things replaced to work. You up for it?"

"Cold," Tommy answered. He hadn't liked the last winters actually. He hated it. But he just wasn't good with the cold. His powers just didn't handle the chill well. He moves with Cal when the guy directs him to more items, and he smiles.

Yeah, he doesn't mind trying.

"Any chance BD can upload some general schematics?"

Cal looked over at one of the storage bins as BD-1 popped his head up from one of them as though summoned. "BeeDee can definitely hook you up," he grinned, watching as the little droid scuttled over and boosted himself up onto the counter with a trill.

"The bins there have parts I salvaged from other heaters so hopefully those will suffice for getting these up and running again. Tools are there," Cal said as he pointed out the places in question.

"Of course he can, he's my best ro-bro," Tommy grinned as he set down his comm for BD to give him the information. Then he looked to Cal and smiled.

"You're sure you're good with this? Like, I'm not the best at machines. I'm still trying to get better on this stuff."

"The only way to get better is to dive right in. This was fun maybe the first few of times but it starts getting tedious after a while. I'm sure not going to complain about having an extra hand to get these fixed up," Cal laughed. "It's easy to get overwhelmed just looking at it, but once you break things down it makes more sense."

BD-1 beeped to signal he was finished with the transfer, toeing at the tablet. Cal stepped over towards one of the generators. "This one's the easiest to repair so I've left it for last. Frame's already removed and most of the parts are in working order. So for now I've been using it as a quick check reference, and you're welcome to do the same."

She's been slowly getting accustomed to sensing the other Jedi, and not just Cal. So it didn't take her too long to figure out that they'd all just... gone, if only for the empty space she can feel. She wasn't particularly close with any of them (yet?), but they'd all treated her with a lot more kindness and understanding than she ever would've expected from Jedi, and that has to count for something.

So she's a little glum as she prowls the eerily empty temple grounds looking for Cal—if mostly because she knows he must be upset. At least she can still feel him—Goddess only knows what she would do if he'd left too—which makes her search less like wandering and more like tracking.

The difference is palpable. It's strange how much of a difference, and he suspects that it's only something a Force sensitive would notice, an ulterior layer to the general quiet and emptiness of the grounds.

Maybe it's poor practice, but lightsaber stances only reminded him of the sessions he had with Ezra, with Obi-Wan and even Luke. Today he'd quit early, and sprawled out on the grass beneath the trees is where Merrin would find him, his arms tucked beneath his head as he watches the shifting light that pokes through the breeze-stirred leaves of the overhanging branches above him. BD-1 isn't far, chasing after fluttering insects of some sort.

There we go. As she approaches, BD-1 scurries up to her first with a few subdued beeps, and she crouches down to pat the droid on the head before continuing on. BD-1 then goes back to... chasing insects? as she sits down on the grass beside Cal, legs tucked together at her side. She leans her weight onto one hand, reaching down with the other to gently brush his hair back from his face—unnecessary, but she feels like doing it anyway.

"The other Jedi have gone home," she says simply, but not without compassion. It's almost like a prompting—she wants to gauge how he's feeling.

Rey had been disappointed when all the Jedi seemed to disappear as she arrived. She had spoken to one, Ezra, but he was gone when she's searched for him. She also couldn't sense anyone else strong in the Force, save for a very few. Far too few to the numbers she had been given before.

She hadn't set foot near the museum until now. The former presence of the Jedi lingered like ghosts, so close but entirely out of her reach. It's a familiar pattern in her life, but not one that gets any easier to repeat.

Today she senses a live presence however, as she finally decides to explore the place the Jedi left behind. Abandoning a half-hearted search to see if there was anything useful left behind she followed her senses to an open area, and spotted a semi-familiar redhead she could identify as Cal from their conversation on the network.

Watching is probably intrusive, but she's never seen another Jedi go through forms. She's seen drawings and holos Leia showed her, as well as Ben in battle but just the simplicity of someone practicing with their lightsaber, movements they learned at the Jedi temple...

Okay she's quietly nerding out a little.

"I don't think I'm familiar with those forms," she finally calls out, a little awkwardly because she knows full well he probably sensed her coming.

"...I figured it'd happen sooner or later," Cal replies quietly, closing his eyes. With Merrin here it feels like he can actually relax now, even though he'd been lying there for a while. "...just didn't expect them all to disappear all at the same time."

He draws in a deep breath, taking in the fresh air tinted with the smell of fallen leaves and the faint scent of the young woman beside him. He breathes out again, as though he could blow off whatever invisible weight insisted remaining on his shoulders.

"I talked to Obi-Wan about it. About...being afraid of getting close, knowing eventually it'll all be gone." His laugh is just another breath, his eyes opening again as he looks up at the shifting, thinning canopy, remembering its greener days.

It's not a presence he's familiar with, and it makes him wonder if someone else has arrived recently and found their way here. Cal continues with his exercises, even as he continues to sense that approach.

He's not entirely sure that he's surprised when he recognizes the voice that eventually speaks up, but he follows through with the movements to turn about and face her. "It's kind of a mix between different ones," he admits, smiling faintly as he relaxes his stance, thumbing his blade off. "Hey, Rey."

The fact that they all left at the same time does feel... unprecedented. Merrin hasn't been here nearly as long as Cal has, but she can't recall so many people going home all at once. People seem to trickle in and trickle out, from what she's seen. Is that a good or bad thing? "It is strange," she murmurs, almost absently.

With his eyes closed, she takes the opportunity to study him more closely, the rise and fall of his chest as he breathes deeply. That unseen burden she can see anyway, writ all over his body. She lays a hand over his heart, feeling it thrum beneath her palm, wishing there were spells for burdens like this too. "Were you still afraid?"

It's a good question, one he hasn't dared asked himself before. He sighs. "Deep down, maybe," he admits. "Master Obi-Wan said to focus on the present, and the opportunities we were given. So I did. But it's hard focusing on the present when there's such an obvious absence."

Her hand is warm, a connection that gives some comfort. Cal slowly extracts a hand from behind his head so he can slip it over her pale one.

"Maybe afraid isn't exactly the word. Anxious...seems more close to the feeling. Outside of here, I don't think I'll ever see them. I know it's a big galaxy out there, and other survivors... But Ezra's path crosses Obi-Wan's, and even Obi-Wan will meet Luke." What about Grogu? Perhaps the little one had his own path with the Mandalorian. "I know I don't have any reason to be feeling lonely, not when I have you, and Cere and Greez and BeeDee-One, but..." He shakes his head. "I don't know how else to describe it."

Obi-Wan Kenobi is a wise man. But good advice doesn't always mean easy. She can't even blame him—she finds it hard not to be afraid deep down too. "Do feelings need reason?" she chides, but very gently. Her hand shifts underneath his, so that her thumb can curl over his fingers. Slowly sweep over his knuckles, a soft touch.

"Though I do not think it's unreasonable. They were your kind. Your family. You all built a home here." She glances around the grounds, now empty and quiet, as if to say, see? This place was once alive with Jedi training with their lightsabers and meditating and whatever it is Jedi do all day—probably talking a lot. But she was here at times. She remembers. Even she feels the absence now, so it must be even harder for Cal. "We cannot replace that."

She misses her sisters, yes—but sometimes it feels like she misses her home most of all. Her community. The Nightsisters. Being a part of a family. It's not... loneliness, she thinks, though maybe it is that too. But it's also feeling... displaced.

It's not quite a smile that surfaces at her chiding, but it's close to one. Just having someone to talk to so openly about this makes a difference.

"Yeah..." Cal says quietly. It was a taste of the past. He knew it wouldn't last, it's why he'd been reluctant to move in. But then it wasn't too much different from getting to know everyone else here. No, it was mainly that this had been something familiar, and he knows it's something he'll probably never experience again. Displacement is a true part of it. He's floating, a Jedi with no Order. But then that's what's brought him and Merrin together. They had nowhere to go back to. But that's why they kept moving forward, and they won't do that alone.

His hand squeezes hers.

"Hi Cal," Rey smiles in return as Cal shuts his lightsaber off, walking closer.

"I only learned what Luke taught Leia. There were descriptions of other forms in the ancient Jedi texts, but I didn't have time to learn most of it." She looks a little sad, disappointed that she didn't have the books here, not for the first time. There had been the briefest flicker of hope that she could learn from someone, a real Jedi, but now it was only her and Cal.

So she knew Padme's twins... Yet another connection to those who had disappeared. Cal can't help but have the fleeting thought that maybe Rey would disappear as well, but he suppresses a wince with the thought, giving his lightsaber hilt an idle spin in his hand.

"I can take you through them, if you want. It's been a long time since I had gone through them, but I had the chance to refresh my memory here."

She can practically see him think, and her heart swells for him, in fondness and in sympathy. How she wishes there was more she could do to take his sadness away—if only things worked like that so easily.

Instead, she moves to lie down in the grass next to him, her body tucked into his side and head pillowed in the juncture of his shoulder. She looks up at the canopy of shifting leaves and watches the sunlight stream in between them, strangely peaceful. No leaves were ever this green on Dathomir. "Why do you think you will not see them again?" she asks finally, sounding thoughtful.

"The different time frames, at least from those in the future. But maybe it's better if our paths never cross." What did that say about the future of the Jedi, though? It sounded like they'd never gather again, that a new order would never be established. But given everything else, would they ever be safe?

Cal glances at Merrin, now right there next to him. He pulls his other hand from beneath his head to curl his arm around her. He's so glad to have her there.

"...you said I completed my mission. What happened with everything? The holocron, those names..."

Kaz found him working on salvage to make heaters for the colder weather. Kaz haven't been back to Sh'Ka yet And was of the opinion that whatever alien engineering skill he had from a Datapoint was now a distraction. He had something of a new perspective on it now.

His usual staccato steps brought him closer to Cal's work bench. Since he had never cared about being rude either, Kaz started talking right away;

"As the last month has shown us, us captives can't wait around for a good time to go exploring.

Edited (Arg phone posting sux) 2021-11-26 17:47 (UTC)

"But we can't go rushing off into it either," Cal replied calmly, not looking up from his work as he sensed Kaz's arrival. He finished tightening one bolt and shifted the heater in front of him to place the next.

"We took two hits last month. I don't know what would have happened if either occurred while any of us were out on this exploration mission. A lot of the people who I know would have gone are gone now. Maybe being outside of the city whenever that other thing happened would have been the only real upside."

Dive right in? Yeah, he knows about that. Still, the way he talks about it makes Tommy smile. He can throw himself into it. It's all he wants. To get better at things and be useful.

With the transfer done Tommy happily opens the schematics. Yeah, that looks good.

"Thanks man," Tommy said with a smile, and he reaches for BD to offer his first for a bump. They were both awesome.

"Hey Cal? Thank you. It's... hard to get to learn new things. Even with Tony. Like, he's a fucking genius and I love it, but sometimes he talks SO far above my head that I get lost. ANd he doesn't do lots of repeat work so I can't learn the basics as fast. I need to keep learning the small things."

Kaz was already used to other people hearing his footsteps before they saw him.

"Whether we were in the city or not, bad things would have happened regardless. As long as we are trapped here then bad things will keep happening, maybe more often. A lot of people that I knew are also gone."

And some of those people were ones that he cared about.

"It's possible that if we weren't inside Temba, we could avoid things like last month but we won't know unless we try. I don't know about you, but I'd rather die free than live in captivity."

Kaz was intending to get Cal's cooperation since it was Cal's reputation that would be far better than his. But if he would have to do it alone, Kaz would find a way.

"I know it is," Cal said. "I didn't have much choice. I knew a little about engineering, but it wasn't a big focus for me while I was training as a Jedi. But then I ended up on a planet controlled by the Scrapper Guild, and I figured I'd better learn quick if I wanted to survive and blend in. Taking things apart sounds easy, but when you're dealing with starships, it can get dangerous pretty quick if you don't do it right."

He patted the heater. "Even with the engineering knowledge from the data point, it doesn't explain how things are put together, not for everything. Mostly how to identify specific parts and how they work together, which way to fasten things. If you think of these like giant puzzles, it helps. There's layers to it. Groups of certain parts that have to be set just right so that everything else will work. Once you get an idea of how those break down into groups, it gets easier."

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You Pick Yourself Up You Keep Going

Workshop - You Expected Sh'Ka Didn't You?

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museum, backdated??

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